To be sick of personality disorder being used as an excuse for bad behaviour?

[fluffydressinggown]

I see it all the time on here, people say their partner/friend/family member has behaved badly and someone comes along and says maybe it is a personality disorder.

Personality disorder does not necessarily make you a bad person or give you bad behaviour. Some people are just dicks. Not dicks with a mental health problem.

Is the state of UK MH care that bad?

You wouldn't believe how bad it is :( and

MH services, adult and children, are terrible.

My brother's schizoaffective disorder diagnosis was eight years coming. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder five years after he first talked to the GP (initially about his depression), then on the wrong medication for three years before the diagnosis was changed to schizoaffective disorder. We recently had to beg, literally beg, for help, after he'd been turned away from A&E despite being suicidal and having attempted suicide before.

My DD is being seen by CAMHS, due to depression. From GP referral to initial appointment for counselling with CBT, including the 'lost' referral, it took seven months. She was suicidal, self harming and was refusing school on and off in that time.

Did I actually just read that?

DogCalledRudis whats your excuse??

Doesn't have one

Well, take this situation for example. His mother's birthday. She has some guests and has had a couple of glasses of wine. He wants her to drive him to McDonalds this instant. She refuses. He kicks up a major scandal. "What sort of mother are you? You get drunk while your disabled child is starving!" (Add some swear words).
Note: McDonalds is about 5-7min walk and fridge is full of food.

Does he have a Dx of Asperger's from a pdoc?

obviously doesn't need one
mn can do that

Am not engaging but reporting. Referring to someone with Aspergers as a "wanker using it as an excuse" is not acceptable

He has diagnosis, but now they're reviewing his DLA and could be that he hasn't.

Uh huh. OK then

Let me be clear about the DLA reviews.
EVERYONE on DLA is getting reviewed as we are being migrated over to PIP. People who are genuinely disabled are being assessed as not disabled as it is a cost cutting exercise. People with MH issues are most at risk of losing their benefits.
It is like when they changed incapacity to ESA. All of a sudden 75% of incapacity claimants are fit to work. It is bollocks.

some people are really not very clever

Dog reviewing the DLA will not be about questioning his diagnosis. It's most likely to do with the changeover from DLA to PIP.

And you are an arse.

Oh, come on. Some people with ASDs are selfish, abusive, intolerant twats, same as some people without them. Being A Lovely Person is not a sign or symptom of ASD.

Who said it was?

Socially inappropriate or immature behaviour as a result of AS doesn't equal "being a wanker" either

No, it's true that meltdowns & tantrums are frequent side-effects of difficult sensory processing. I'm not sure it's a complete explanation for a 22-year-old's raging "You get drunk while your disabled child is starving!" when that is not an accurate assessment of the situation.

It could well be.

... it feels ironic that, on a thread complaining about people's blaming ASD for abusive behaviour, the same apologists are now doing exactly that in response to Dog's anecdote ...

He could well be exhibiting immature behaviour for a reason.

Anyway I don't have time to engage with this today. Indeed ever.

Will just direct people to the section of the "this is my child campaign" discussing invisible disabilities and why it isn't necessarily bad behaviour. Thanks MNHQ

I can imagine my DS behaving like the 22 year old mentioned above. It is how you deal with it that counts. We would say 'DS if you are really hungry you can make yourself a sandwich/some soup or you can walk to McDonalds.' DS would probably realise he was not going to get anywhere and either take one of those choices or storm off upstairs. He is 19 and has AS. It has taken years to get to this point. A diagnosis of AS is a signpost, to help others understand, not an excuse.

www.mumsnet.com/campaigns/this-is-my-child-myths-about-children-with-special-needs

A diagnosis of AS is a signpost, to help others understand, not an excuse.

Thank you, Larry!

This is why posters with experience of AS sometimes suggest that abusive behaviour might be due to an undiagnosed condition: to help the OP understand.