Relationships being the keyword, if you have a PD it will affect your relationships. It won't only be targeted behaviour towards one person and only one person and only that relationship.
Chipped, so what about the man with avoidant personality disorder who you and I just see as a bit stand offish. As a bit socially awkward and shy. He has NO real relationships apart from his wife. Never has had. The only other non-superficial relationship he has ever had in his entire life was with his ex girlfriend. Everyone else in his life is a mere acquaintance, or a work mate, or someone he plays football with once a week. He doesn't make friends easily. He is the opposite of a social butterfly. Because of his PD he keeps people at arms length. Because of his PD he is often viewed a bit of a loner. His wife sees the WHOLE range of behaviour purely because she has a far more indepth relationship with him, compared to all his other superficial relationships. It's not surprising that many people with APD don't marry or have long term relationships. It is very wrong and very thoughtless of you to imply that just because this man's "avoidance to the point of it being a mental illness" is not apparent to many people around him that he is just faking it. That his diagnosis is just false.
And what about the woman with dependent personality disorder. She isn't difficult to get on with at all. Again, definitely not on fairly superficial levels. She is easy to get along with, always eager to please. Because her personality disorder tells her she has to be liked, so chances are you and I could find her easy going. When she says she would like Chinese for dinner, and we come along and say we fancied Indian, and she goes along with us with a smile. We can't be expected to know that she may just be agreeing with our choice as that's what her PD tells her to do. We think she is just an agreeable person. Do we even stop to think that's because her PD is telling her she can't disagree because she could lose the support and approval she craves so much? None of what she shows to friends and colleagues and neighbours is necessarily what she shows to her husband. She is EXTREMELY scared of being alone, this can put MAJOR pressure on a marriage, but doesn't necessarily have to be visible at all to mere friends. It is highly possible that a woman could be diagnosed with DPD, yet not let it show to anyone apart from her husband. Yet you're happy to dismiss this too. Her diagnosis must be false too.
Have you any idea how offensive you are being?
or for that matter, how silly you are being.
How can you dismiss a diagnosis that a psychiatrist has taken months to reach, purely because that diagnosis doesn't fir your narrow world view of "well if the behaviour is only visable to the husband or wife it's not a real personaility disorder". Could it not just be that the sufferer is in a position (like some ASD kids are in school), to control their behaviour in some circumstances and the "true them" shines through in their home environment?
Do you also make a point of going on to threads where parents bemoan the fact that the teacher is forever telling them how well behaved their aspergers suffering daughter or son is in school, while the parent suffers meltdowns twice a week straight after school, along with a variety of other very blatant ASD bahviours? Do you tell those parents that their children aren't really on the spectrum, they have a a wrong diagnosis, that theire children are just manipulative little shits? Afterall, by your way of thinking if they can behave normally at school, then surely they must be able to at home.