To be annoyed with the school (again!)

[extremepie]

Ds1&2 (ds2 has ASD) attend after school club 2 days a week while I attend college. My third day at college is a half day so technically I don't need to use after school club but I asked the school if they would be happy to take the dc's on the third day as well to give me more time to use the library/facilities at the college & get my work done. They agreed, and even managed to find another person who would do the third day as ds2's usual 1:1 couldn't (or didn't want to) do the third day.

Went to pick them up last week and they have now told me they have had a 'management meeting' and they are refusing to take them on the third day. They have also refused to take them on one additional day next week which I requested as a one off (and will pay for as extra ) as I am booked in to do a one day course which will enable me to drive a bike and dramatically reduce my travelling time between college & home.

They didn't actually give a reason why, just that it was a 'management decision'.

They have also said that they will not take the dc's for any more days after school until they have a payment for the after school club - I have applied for and been awarded assistance with childcare from the college. When I did so I had to fill out a form stating the days/hours I needed care paid for so, since the school initially agreed, I filled the form out for 3 days. So essentially when the month comes through they will be being paid for 3 days but have said they will only take them for 2. The payments are paid from the college directly to the school so I have nothing to do with the money now!

Aibu to think:

The school should stick to it's agreed times re 3 days not 2, especially since they will receive additional payment off doing so!

They are being pretty unfair refusing to do the additional day considering that the whole point of me doing this course is so I can get back from college and pick dc's up earlier, thus cutting down the amount of time they spend in after school club?

They are being really U to demand payment from me when they know I have been awarded payments from the college & that said payments get paid every 4 weeks in arrears?

Getting so fed up with them, feels like they are being deliberately difficult - I suspect a large part of it is they don't want to deal with ds2 as he is more work (have had major issues with this in the past with them!)

Sorry so long :/

note sure if anyone has already suggested this extremepie but there might be a support service you can access through your college - something intended to help people carry on with their courses.

Brilliant news about the extra day. Good luck with the bike course (and also with tracking down the head teacher!)

I would also ask for a startement regarding what has been paid for. You should get a refund if the sessions have effectively been paid for twice.

I would also ask for a statement regarding what has been paid for. You should get a refund if the sessions have effectively been paid for twice

Definitely!

You know OP this is so scarily similar to an experience of mine that I am beginning to think it's the same people....

Ask, by email for confirmation what is owed and been paid.

Match that with college and get that in writing too.

Then see what you have. Do you have a contract with them?

Just to update, I paid in advance for the extra day and the school were fine with having them - also, I passed my course! Yaaaaay :D Getting a bike at the end of the month which should make life a lot easier!

Got permission to use some of my direct payments to clear off any outstanding money with the school (I had a little bit of excess due to the respite carer not being able to have Ds for a few weeks so had some spare :) ) so all the money is sorted and checked with the college about the payments. Got told that payments are made at the end of every month, the school just need to invoice them for the hours used each week so as long as they do this it's all good. School have been made aware of this.

Totally confused about the third day still, no idea if they can do it or not but that's a conversation for the head teacher! All in all, things seem to be sorted, woohoo!

Great news, OP. Good luck with the third day!

Well done! Am pleased you updated, had been wondering how you got on.

Yayyyyyyy for passing

Also glad the ASC stuff is getting sorted. Next question is why it's £40 for a 3 hour session it may be worthwhile doing it hourly when you got your bike. I'd not be letting college fund them a penny more than they deserve have worked.

Ok, another update and I am really bloody angry now!

Had a meeting with HT the other day. First thing he does is hand me a letter basically saying that my 'lateness' is unacceptable and he can no longer 'find the staff' to cater for us at ASC because he 'can't find anyone willing to do it'.

He also states that if I don't start picking them up by 5 on the dot he will then cancel the ASC completely. He took it further by saying that if he did cancel the ASC and I was any later than 3:15 he would be phoning the police on me.

So, so angry! I did not agree to a 5pm pick up before we agreed to do ASC and I knew I couldn't guarentee that I would be back by 5 (my train from college only gets to the station at 5). I pre book a taxi to pick me up from the station at 5 so I go straight from the train to the taxi and get to the school between 5:10 and 5:30 ish depending on the traffic etc. So I am already getting there as soon as I possibly can, he knows this!

At the last meeting where it was discussed (a month into the term), he expressed that he wanted me to turn up by 5 so I told him that I would get there as close to 5 as I possibly can, which I am doing.

And now he's threatening to cancel ASC altogether?!

I have dropped the third day altogether since they are being so awkward about 2 days I dont want to argue even more over a third, I just don't understand why they seen to be acting all surprised that I'm not turning up at 5 and making out as if I'm being late deliberately!

The ASC is open until 6:!5 - a full hour and 15 minutes after I'm expected to pick up. Why?! Why is it ok for everyone else to use it till them but not me?

The are saying that it's partially due to DS2 'not coping' in ASC and 'getting distressed and upset' and that the staff 'can't deal with how upset he is getting' but I feel like that is a load of bullshit. Every single time I pick him up he is happy and calm and in a good mood, not once has he been crying or upset or distressed in any way when I come to collect him. Now, I appriciate that I am not there for the whole time but I can normally tell when he is not in a good mood and I haven't seen any evidence of that. To me it just really seems like they just do not want the hassle of dealing with him and are setting me an impossible task so that they have an excuse to cancel the ASC without fear of being complained about!

Firstly do you have any paperwork from when you first booked them into club with timings etc on it? Do you also have a copy of any invoices that show you pay for the full session - ie 3.15-6.15pm. Get the college to provide you with information/ invoice about what hours they are funding for your DSes.
Contact the LA if this is a school run club and if it's Ofsted inspected call them for advice.

Nope, I have no paperwork at all :( I will ask the college and see if they can give me a copy of the invoice, or at least tell me what hours they've put down :/

Any joy with the college?

Extreme pie you have my sympathies - there is a massive shortfall in after school care for disabled children. My DS goes to special school where there is no ASC provision and I think we would have similar issues to what you are experiencing if DS was in mainstream.

Do you have it in writing that they cannot find the staff to look after your child - please ask him to put it in writing that he will cancel the ASC on your child and phone the police - definitely get it in writing that they are unable to cope with your son's ASD. This is a clear case of discrimination as he is not allowing your child the same opportunities because he has a disability. As it is no longer an issue with payment but an issue about access. The head is obviously a law unto himself - can you contact your SEN officer at the Local Authority? I don't think you should go in for any conversations or phone calls with the school but get a paper trail.

If you get no joy with the LA then please call IPSEA - they are very helpful albeit very busy. Another option is to talk to your college - is there any flexibility with timings - I was a lecturer at a university and I would make allowances for situations like these - for example letting a student leave early for personal circumstances and allowing them access to my lecture notes. Can you apply to the crisis fund at college so you could afford a child minder?

For all those basically telling the OP to suck it up - you obviously have no idea of the financial and emotional strain it puts on a family having a disabled child. I have a child with ASD and cannot work due to no available wraparound care and no family help. I was a lecturer at a top university but have had to give it up to be a carer - DLA does not even touch what I've lost in wages - we should be praising the OP for trying to better her circumstances against the odds rather than calling her entitled!

Sorry but I will just save you the hassle of IPSEA and the LA

Though the school run the ASC it is absolutely NOTHING to do with their educational responsibilities.
His statement is irrelevant as they are not obligated to provide wrap around care.

The ASC should have a separate OFSTED inspection as a childcare provider and under their rules and of course the equality act they have an obligation to offer your son the same as the other children.

However, you have NO documentation relating to what is agreed and now THEY are creating a paper trail that you are not following what is agreed verbally.

First thing you need to do is answer that letter. If they are stating 5pm and threatening to call the police then you need to respond to that in writing and state what you intend to do. At this point I don't see that you have the option of doing nothing or ignoring their demand to collect the children at 5pm. You need to make offer arrangements first and try to address the 'fairness' issue after with a formal complaint / complaint to OFSTED.

It is unfair and you can rage here all you want but terrible, terrible experiences have taught me that you have play the game and deal with things in the right way and in writing.

Personally I would be thinking very carefully about whether this is the right school for my child.

Is it worth also looking for some kind of legal help? For example Unity Law (www.unity-law.co.uk/) are brilliant with disability discrimination work.

Also check your home insurance as it often has legal cover, and if so you could ask them to put you in touch with Unity, or ask for their help.

Even just some properly worded letters with their legal duties spelled out to them may move things forward.

Also it could be worth approaching a charity for Autism? Charities often have educational advocates for this kind of issue. I don't know the charities very well, but someone may be able to suggest a good one?

Finally, each county often has an advocacy service for people with disabilities. If you google advocacy and your county, I hope it would come up. Again, they may be able to offer you some support.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and agree with responding with a calm, carefully thought out letter spelling out the issues.

As a primary head, I just need to say that if the ASC is run with school staff it doesn't need a separate Ofsted registration.

From what you've said, OP, it sounds like your son is being discriminated against. He should be able to use the club. School are receiving money to fund a helper.
Try contacting Parent Partnership.

There are so many issues here u don't know where to start.

Op get yourself sine sort of disabilities advocate. Contact citizens advice to poin you in the right direction, or charities associated with you sons sn. You need someone who is hot on all the law and jargon to fight your corner.

Get a paper trail. Ask for copies of all paperwork regarding your dc and after school club, minutes is meeting had about him, initial agreement, incident reports.

As horrible as it is for you by forcing to school to buck up their shit and stopping ripping you off (charging you for 2* 1-1 when only 1ds needs it I'd be interested to see how this is written down in their accounts) by forcing the issue now you will make life a lot easier for the next family they try this with

Don't give up your doing great.

I'm really sorry the school are putting you through this :(

I'm also really sorry that some people have posted some absolutely horrible crap on your thread. If only they were forced to walk a mile in your shoes.

You are doing really well trying to improve your situation. I hope you can get all of this sorted out. I'm another one who would make changing the kids school an absolute priority.

mushroom
I thought I had got their OFSTED number from it but on checking I used the school identifier - sorry my mistake.

Where I have got confused is that recently I had reason to make complaint about an ASC attached to a school and the LA and OFsted made it clear that it was a private enterprise separate to the school provision. I have just dug out the emails and they did say the Governing body were responsible for the running of it like a manager of a business would be.

Interestingly the local government ombusmen wouldnt take it on either (I didnt think they would) nor would the LA but thankfully I sorted it myself in the end (I had made enquiries before I needed it).

Just thought I'd update quickly! I've been fed up with the school for a while now for their attitude towards ds2, as far as everyone 'official' is concerned the school are completely within their rights to not give them access to the ASC as they only have an obligation to provide 1-1 etc during school hours. Technically I suppose they are correct but that still doesn't change the fact that ds2 is being denied the things that other children are allowed to use without question :/

So I contacted the family information service thingy to see if there was anyone else locally who could provide care (as advised by the SW) - they have me ONE name, of someone who incidentally is the parent of someone in ds2's class! She was fully booked but was very helpful in passing on other names to use.

Long story short in desperation I posted on a local buy & sell site & 38 posts later had a plethora to choose from! Apparently the family information service don't give out all these names as they don't like the 'competition' :/ Well that's really helpful to me!

I have now sorted out a brilliant new ASC, it's a nursery but take children up to 11, the manager is a SENCO herself and they have other children there with autism & other SN, and are happy to provide him 1-1 :)

They pick them up from school & drop them home in the evening, even give them dinner and don't charge me extra for ds2! The kids are loving it and they have been absolute angels the 2 times I was late when my bus/train home was delayed :)

All in all, a very happy ending! Hope it continues :D

Oh that's brilliant I'm glad you went hunting for something better and have found something fabulous.

Thank you for updating.

How are the school in 'school hours' though? If they are this awful about ASC it worries me what they are like the rest of the time?!

That's a great update. So glad you have found a supportive ASC after everything