To be annoyed with the school (again!)

[extremepie]

Ds1&2 (ds2 has ASD) attend after school club 2 days a week while I attend college. My third day at college is a half day so technically I don't need to use after school club but I asked the school if they would be happy to take the dc's on the third day as well to give me more time to use the library/facilities at the college & get my work done. They agreed, and even managed to find another person who would do the third day as ds2's usual 1:1 couldn't (or didn't want to) do the third day.

Went to pick them up last week and they have now told me they have had a 'management meeting' and they are refusing to take them on the third day. They have also refused to take them on one additional day next week which I requested as a one off (and will pay for as extra ) as I am booked in to do a one day course which will enable me to drive a bike and dramatically reduce my travelling time between college & home.

They didn't actually give a reason why, just that it was a 'management decision'.

They have also said that they will not take the dc's for any more days after school until they have a payment for the after school club - I have applied for and been awarded assistance with childcare from the college. When I did so I had to fill out a form stating the days/hours I needed care paid for so, since the school initially agreed, I filled the form out for 3 days. So essentially when the month comes through they will be being paid for 3 days but have said they will only take them for 2. The payments are paid from the college directly to the school so I have nothing to do with the money now!

Aibu to think:

The school should stick to it's agreed times re 3 days not 2, especially since they will receive additional payment off doing so!

They are being pretty unfair refusing to do the additional day considering that the whole point of me doing this course is so I can get back from college and pick dc's up earlier, thus cutting down the amount of time they spend in after school club?

They are being really U to demand payment from me when they know I have been awarded payments from the college & that said payments get paid every 4 weeks in arrears?

Getting so fed up with them, feels like they are being deliberately difficult - I suspect a large part of it is they don't want to deal with ds2 as he is more work (have had major issues with this in the past with them!)

Sorry so long :/

It could be that the provision at the ASC does not carer well for OP's DS2's needs and her DS is not coping well, resulting in difficult behaviour. However the school should be used to catering for his needs, the ASC uses the same staff and there is funding for 1 to 1.

I think the school's behaviour in this instance would really lead me to question the provision they are making, regarding the DS2's additional needs, overall....

^ Cater not carer. Typo.

Wow, what a thread.

So the OP perfectly reasonably tries to improve her life with a college course, after funding childcare herself with difficulty, and then secures alternative funding.

For this she's been treated like she's done something awful. Some of the comments like - fund it yourself with DLA (sadly, it's not never-ending and doesn't usually cover a fraction of the extra costs of disabilities), told to homeschool (like anyone who has an issue with a school should immediately drop everything to homeschool no matter your circumstances), told to get family members/father to do it (even though if that was a option she wouldn't have been struggling), etc. And the "well obviously you can't afford to be in college then" comment? Uh... yes she can.

The school is being totally unreasonable. They're agreed something, allowed her to secure funding, then withdrawn it with no reason. How can this possibly be seen as okay? I'm so sorry OP. This is why change for people with disabilities is so slow, because as soon as you ask for any kind of adjustments, people act like you're asking for the world - and not just a couple of simple changes that make the world of difference.

I would ask for the reasons in writing to start with, and perhaps then go further with complaints to the Local Authority (or whatever the correct pathway is.)

Might also be worth contacting the equalities commission.

fund it yourself with DLA (sadly, it's not never-ending and doesn't usually cover a fraction of the extra costs of disabilities) Only suggested as a short term measure to secure the childcare until funding came through, as op had already said that is how she had funded it until now.

Have previously been involved in childcare funding for course attendees and not all can afford to be paid in arrears in which case the student may pay a few weeks in hand. Also payment was based on student's actual attendance. Maybe whoever saw the copy of op's letter should have either taken a copy or told her to request formal confirmation for them direct from college .

Pull the other one, coolas. You made that comment not as a serious suggestion (who on earth would make such a suggestion in one line if they meant it to be a serious suggestion?) but as a way of telling extremepie that she should do the schools job herself.

I'd have a lot more respect for you if you admitted it was intended to be a cutting comment and apologised rather than earnestly insisting you thought for a moment that a woman studying at college should homeschool her children because of a problem with an ASC.

Great post GlitterBelle OP hasn't asked for the moon on the stick, she's asked that her sons be allowed to access the ASC which she has been paying for and now the college will fund.

Having children with disabilities is a massive poverty trap and the OP should be commended for actually trying to get out there and improve her situation.

coolas throughout this whole thread you've been unhelpful and your 'homeschool then' first post read with a very snide tone of voice. I can't believe you genuinly thought that because the OP is having issues with the after school club she should leave college and home school? Did you really? Really? Nope. You did not. You were being mean.

And you got sarky with the OP when she said that wasn't on her agenda.

The school sound like they don't want to deal with the AS. They have gone back on their agreement and I can't believe they are saying 'pay till 6 pick up at 5'. Their attitude makes me wonder how good they are with your son the rest of the time.

As a suggestion in what way was it meant to help the OP - who made it crystal clear in the OP that she needed childcare so she go go to college and go on a driving course? It was a pathetic and nasty response to post and I am just as "entitled" to tell you that as you are "entitled" to post the suggestion in the first place.

I agree. Coolas suggestion didn't sound genuine to me either, sorry.

Will the college pay for childcare provided by an ofsted-registered Nanny? If yes, would the TA be willing/able to provide this service to you directly? £40 per day for a couple of days after school would probably be more than she's paid by the school and presumably the ASC wouldn't need her if your DC were not attending if she's providing one to one?

With respect to your moped training personally if you can't find any other way I would just not turn up to pick them up. If you've got nothing in writing when they phone you to find out where you are you can just say there must have been a miscommunication issue and you thought they were going to be in ASC. Not ideal and you may not want to do this but if it will improve your lives significantly, for the sake of a few hours, and sounds like there is no good feeling from the school to preserve anyway.

I really hope that was a joke tickerbell. Just not showing up would mean that the school may not have enough staffing, and will not have the 1:1 support needed for the child. What a ridiculous suggestion. In our school, a stunt like that would have child services called.

OP needs to know why these decisions have been made, and work with the school to determine how to move forward. Is the 5pm finish because the 1:1 has to start early because of the breakfast club and will go over working hours if she stays until six?

Finding someone who will work just a few hours at a rather unsociable time is not that easy. Most people who do part time work do so because they can then pick their own children up from school and be with them. If the school genuinely is not able to find someone willing to take on this job, then whilst they should continue to try and hire as required, they can't just miraculously pull a number staff member out of the cupboard as needed and if the child cannot be cared for appropriately, then it is better that they are honest .

Midnite

If the school genuinely is not able to find someone willing to take on this job, then whilst they should continue to try and hire as required, they can't just miraculously pull a number staff member out of the cupboard as needed and if the child cannot be cared for appropriately, then it is better that they are honest .

The school have not said this though. What is more, it would be quite an admission. One which shows the school are incapable of making inclusive provision, the knocks on effects of this, being disability discrimination. Shocking when funding is in place, really.

It would, I agree go down a lot better if this was explained properly. Ideally this explanation needs to show what steps the school have taken to rectify this problem and time scale for resolution.

Unfortunately when public bodies decide to, essentially, 'give up' on and wash their hands of the 'problem' of, making provision for those with additional needs, it means the life chances of, potentially, whole families, are affected.

It is not that uncommon either. I speak as a parent whose DC was only offered part time schooling for nearly a year. My DC's additional needs were not even that severe....fast forward a few years and no longer needs a Statement.

Thankfully I did not have to rely on childcare...

Midnite I agree though, you really cannot leave a child in the care of those not willing to care for them. (Hence my DC only received part-time education from the school for nearly a year. I had to fill in the gaps.)

Still, easier to blame the school for them not providing care when not being paid.

Daisy, no-one is doing that. What they are blaming the school for is pulling out of an agreed arrangement under which they agreed to be paid in arrears and in circumstances where they know perfectly well that they will be paid. The fact that they haven't given any sensible reason for that makes it look highly likely that their actual motivation is disability discrimination.

Yanbu at all OP!!
Can not believe some of the posts on here.
I can't offer any advice as zero experience of your situation. However you have had some very positive and supportive advice here. Follow that.

Only thing left to say is... Bitches. Bitches everywhere.

OP I have no practical advice to give you, sorry, but I think your school sounds crap and your children are getting a poor deal. Sorry for you that received such nasty comments dressed up as advice, which goes to show how very little people with nt children actually understand about the issue. Hope you get a solution and good luck with studies.

Coolas - You are entitled to make a suggestion on a thread, but of course others are entitled to respond with their thoughts on that suggestion, as it wasn't a particularly thoughtful one, and was also a bit odd.

Someone has posted here stressed and upset as all her carefully thought out plans have fallen through, and is told to basically leave college, take her child out of school and the 1-2-1 support it provides, and homeschool. If she wanted to/was able to, she'd already have done it.

It just wasn't the right time for such a suggestion.

How did you get on today? Did you manage to speak to the school?

I did! Although I didn't actually manage to speak to the head as he was not in at the time but I will persevere and try to get a meeting with him :D

The lady in reception didn't know what the 'management decision' referred to or the reason why the previously agree third day has now been withdrawn but I will talk to the HT when I see him about that.

She told me they have already received a payment for the childcare from the college?! So I'm confused what they need me to pay for! Again, I will speak to the college tomorrow and try and confirm how much has been paid so far, when the next payment is due and what is outstanding so I know exactly what the school are expecting me to pay, if anything, since no one at the school ever seems to know what I owe when I ask :/

I explained that I really needed the additional day this week and the reason why and they have said they will do the day as long as I pay up front - I have paid this today so it's sorted in advance which is a big relief, at least I can now do my course and not worry :)

capsium I do agree with you, it's just not good enough. We've still got a long way to go before those provisions that are necessary for children with additional needs are provided ungrudgingly and in a timely manner.

I've found that communication has to be key to working with parents. "It's a government decision" or "It's not in our plans right now" are crap excuses and should never be uttered. Sometimes it is worth remembering that most of us on the front line are just as frustrated as the parents are at the lack of action, sense of urgency and financial penny pinching that goes on. What may cost only a $50 and make a massive difference to a child with additional needs is a drop in the bucket compared to money that is spent on other non essentials. Our IT guy is running around with brochures for $5000 Smartboards (even though ours are only a few years old and work perfectly well), while I'm fighting to get a $30 seat cushion for a child with autism (ended up buying it myself out of my own money). It's ridiculous, and needs to change, but it involves a major mindset shift.