To be annoyed with the school (again!)

[extremepie]

Ds1&2 (ds2 has ASD) attend after school club 2 days a week while I attend college. My third day at college is a half day so technically I don't need to use after school club but I asked the school if they would be happy to take the dc's on the third day as well to give me more time to use the library/facilities at the college & get my work done. They agreed, and even managed to find another person who would do the third day as ds2's usual 1:1 couldn't (or didn't want to) do the third day.

Went to pick them up last week and they have now told me they have had a 'management meeting' and they are refusing to take them on the third day. They have also refused to take them on one additional day next week which I requested as a one off (and will pay for as extra ) as I am booked in to do a one day course which will enable me to drive a bike and dramatically reduce my travelling time between college & home.

They didn't actually give a reason why, just that it was a 'management decision'.

They have also said that they will not take the dc's for any more days after school until they have a payment for the after school club - I have applied for and been awarded assistance with childcare from the college. When I did so I had to fill out a form stating the days/hours I needed care paid for so, since the school initially agreed, I filled the form out for 3 days. So essentially when the month comes through they will be being paid for 3 days but have said they will only take them for 2. The payments are paid from the college directly to the school so I have nothing to do with the money now!

Aibu to think:

The school should stick to it's agreed times re 3 days not 2, especially since they will receive additional payment off doing so!

They are being pretty unfair refusing to do the additional day considering that the whole point of me doing this course is so I can get back from college and pick dc's up earlier, thus cutting down the amount of time they spend in after school club?

They are being really U to demand payment from me when they know I have been awarded payments from the college & that said payments get paid every 4 weeks in arrears?

Getting so fed up with them, feels like they are being deliberately difficult - I suspect a large part of it is they don't want to deal with ds2 as he is more work (have had major issues with this in the past with them!)

Sorry so long :/

*for parents, obviously

I think the school are being difficult if they have agreed to it and are now backtracking. Why are you paying for the full session + 1:1 and having to take your dcs home asap? Have I got that right?

As far as I know no one in the school (not even his TA) is SEN trained except the head teacher, who is also the SENCO and is a bit useless anyway - he suggested excluding ds when he lashed out once due to being very overtired and in pain.

Yes that's right quirky :)

Do you have the agreement in writing? they are holding you responsible for something outside your control. An alternative may be to pay in advance and have the money sent from college to you if that is possible.

i think you need to request a meeting, ask what their understanding of the arragements was, explain your understanding, and try to jointly work out a stratwgy from there. Take notes during the meeting, email them afterwards saying that we have agreed to xyz. That way it is there in black and white and everyone knows where they stand.

The school sound pretty crap tbh. I think when you are a parent of dcs with SN then life can be pretty much against you. Why are they charging you until 6 if you have to pick him up by 5? Sounds cheeky to me. Do they have a plan etc. to deal with any behavioural issues?

You might really try posting in SN rather than AIBU, it can be a bit brutal!

Are the college paying double the rate or are they paying the normal single rate? Is that why the school need you to pick him up early? Not sure why they would drop the third day unless it's a matter of cost. Also, of course they would reimburse you if you effectively pay twice, they are not con men!

Ok just resd your most recent updates and see thst the problems run far deeper than afterschool care and payment.

Dont understand why you are getting such a hard time for expecting people to stick to an agreement, and the homeschool suggestion was pretty useless when you state quite clearly in your op that you are doing a college course.

I think you ought to start documenting all the shite, start creating a papertrail, get the schools conplaints proceedure, and the leas, and get over to the mn special needs board for more advice and support.

Does your son have a statement or IEP? I know this won't affect after school club but the way they manage him in school is lacking. E.g. they can't just ask you to keep him
athome. That is technically an illegal exclusion isn't it? Try posting in SN Children here and contact SNAP or NAS.

No idea why previous posters have been so harsh with you, studying full-time and taking cares of children is hard work! I don't have a child with SN and I still find a struggle, so I take my hat off to you OP.
I think you need a meeting with the after-school manager and find out, and get it in writing, why they have come to the decisions they have. Then I think you need to report the school, to whoever it is, for the shocking treatment of your DS2

Camolips, the college will be paying the £16ph (double) rate :)

Poltergoose, we have a 'short break carer' already (if that's what you meant :D) but she can only do weekends and of the 10 weeks we have been using her she has cancelled 5 of them :( Not sure what a carers assessment is in all honesty!

Coolas it is the motivation behind your suggestion to home school! which appears questionable, in this particular context.

Children with SNs have the same rights to a state education as any other child. If the school are discriminating against a child with a disability it goes against the equality act. On the face of it it does not sound like the OP or her child are being treated particularly fairly. This school is not going the extra mile regarding being inclusive. By your suggestion to home school, in this context, on the face of it, it appears you don't think they should either...

Sorry I don't understand how you were able to afford the fees until recently. Appreciate that college will fund it in future but what has changed that you cannot meet this short-term shortfall ? Do you have history of non-payment ? Presumably their staff and the 1:1 in particular need paying now not in a month's time. Has the ASC had written confirmation from college finance that their invoices will be paid ?

Coolas - I know that isn't what you meant but in this situation home schooling is just not an option at all. I am a LP so I can't go out and work or attend college in the evenings and have no one else to rely on for my income (other than benefits). This means I need to get a job I can do in the day, which is directly incompatible with home schooling children.

Ds1 would not be able to learn with ds2 around and I couldn't give either of them the proper attention they deserve if I home schooled. It just wouldn't work for any of us and would cause far more problems than it solved.

LIZS, I wasn't really affording it. I paid because I had to but the £130ish a week for childcare was crippling me, I had to use ds's DLA payments to make up the difference as I was struggling to cope.

I was very relieved when the college said they would fund my childcare!

I just feel a bit like the school have all the control because we both know that if they completely withdraw the out of school care then I will be forced to drop out of college & have to pay back the ££££ of funding I've been given :( So I think they are forcing me to comply because they know they have that power over me.

Could you ask the school if you could pay on a week by week basis until the college funding comes through and then you'll presumably be in credit with them?

but surely using the DLA to fund the extra is what it is paid towards. Can you not do that for just a few weeks more ? You seem to have a real issue with this school and always feel victimised. Maybe they simply cannot afford to bankroll your childcare ?

I have other expenses that the DLA is allocated towards - I had just about run out of money when the letter came through.

In addition, I have this course which is taking up money now but which will save me money in the long run, I really don't have it right now!

Does he have a statement or the new health and education thing? Cannot think what it's called. If not get this rolling because this can be used for more support.

You can aslo ask how the money they get from pupil premium is being spent in ration to him because they will be getting more if he has a statement or the new thing. They cannot say it's for the TA if they are getting 1:1 funding for him. It can be used for the after school club. They cannot refuse you knowing where the pupil premium money goes.

Make an appointment with them ask them what their expectations where. Could be they think that until the college start paying you will pay. Could be they are thinking the college should have paid the previous months by now and haven't.. Contact the college as well about when they will start making payments so you can pass this info onto the school. Tell them that because you are paying until 6, he will be using the service until that time and you will only back down if they show you in writing that you have to pick up at 5 even though they are getting paid the full amount.

The days they want him sent home, refuse to leave with him Until you have it in writing why he is being excluded for the day. My eldest school used to pull that shit until I started demanding letters then suddenly they could cope. Strange that.

As for staff working after school hours. They don't have to even though they get paid. It's called voluntary overtime and a lot of Ta's have things they need to deal with themselves. It's not always financially viable because of tax. I did some, it took me over a certain amount which meant I paid more tax, ni and pension contributions, and because of my childcare costs, I worked for nothing and ended up in debt.

What do you have in writing OP?

I was not suggesting LAs should be relieved of any SN responsibilities.

Glad to hear it, Coolas. Interesting you chose to highlight the LA's responsibilities though, and not individual schools...Sorry, my tendency towards cynicism derives from experience!

Bloody, he has a statement which is being switched over, I think this is happening early next year.

They have outright told me that if I can't 'commit' to picking him up by 5 then they will withdraw after school club. I hasten to add that this gem was only thrown in after we had started the after school arrangement, I had no knowledge if them wanting me to pick him up by 5 until then. We had a meeting about a month into the term where it was discussed and they brought up my 'lateness' and that's when it transpired that they were expecting a 5pm pick up even though I had never agreed to this.

I do understand the TA's have their own lives and they are not obligated to do it, I actually really like ds' regular TA as she has a really good relationship with him and has done some brilliant work with him, it's the school management I disagree with.

I can't explain why but I just feel that they could do it if they wanted to but they don't want to :(

Morloth, I have nothing from the school agreeing to the out of school care - I didn't think I needed any!

I have a letter from the college saying what they will pay though.