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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be totally pissed off with DB

146 replies

dontknowwhatnametopick · 06/11/2014 12:47

I have been seeing my DB for almost 7 months now and in October it was his birthday. I decided that I would take him away for the weekend. I made the effort to look for somewhere really nice and paid quite a bit of money for the room for the 2 nights. I am on a pitiful NHS wage and quite high rent and also have a DS who is alomst 5 so money is tight, dipped into savings for this as I really wanted to do something nice for him. This weekend also fell on our 6 month anniversary.

So on the 2nd night I had booked a lovely restaurant took him out for a birthday meal and he produces me a gift of ear rings telling me its to mark our 6 months, lovely I thought, a guy has actually made the effort to go out and do something like this.

I then find out that there has actually been no effort at all he has bought them off groupon for next to nothing. I am not pissed off at how much they were I am pissed off for the little effort.

When we have date nights we do use groupon and thats fine but AIBU to think that when its for something a little special then some fucking effort should be made!!!

OP posts:
fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 21:08

Grin @ Milk Tray man

Biggles398 · 06/11/2014 21:17

YABU
It was his birthday, you picked/paid for a present. You chose how much to spend. You wanted to make it special. Which it sounds like it was. But this was for his Birthday!

It was your "6 month" anniversary (!), and he got you a present. How lovely of him as I for one wouldn't have expected anything. He could have got you nothing and saved the (discounted) gift for your birthday/ Christmas.
Out of interest, what did You get Him as an anniversary present?

Concordial · 06/11/2014 21:19

YABU.
He could of been trawling the shops for weeks looking for a suitable 6 month anniversary gift and then happened to see the ideal thing on Groupon.
Who cares? He bought it for you. He didn't have to.

I hope the poor bastard is making preparations for the one year anniversary now. Nothing less than a Lear jet booked to fly to New York for lunch, followed by jewellery shopping at Tiffany's and back in time for tea.

Itsfab · 06/11/2014 21:20

Are you annoyed you spent so much as the return didn't turn out to be equal or better?

BlinkAndMiss · 06/11/2014 21:21

OP I think you're missing the point here - you did something nice for your boyfriend but when he didn't do something that you consider to be equal value/effort you started resenting it. That's the real issue. If you continue like that it won't work out - you sound like you'll start judging your contribution against his all the time, which in itself is fine, but you sound completely irrational in your comparisons. This will only lead to constant resentment.

It's a '6 month anniversary': ask yourself - is this a real thing? Are you going to mark every 6 months together? What about every 4? Every 2? That's a bit ridiculous - but he bought you earrings! He made the effort, to him that was effort. You're annoyed because he used groupon - so what? He was thoughtful enough to get you a gift for, quite frankly, a non-event. He's indulging you that way.

Is this the real problem? Or do you feel like he doesn't pull his weight in the relationship overall? I'm asking because I could never resent anything - money/time/whatever that I spent towards my DH because I love him and it doesn't enter my head to. You should do things out of the fact you care, not because you're expecting something back.

FishesTit · 06/11/2014 21:21

People actually celebrate 6 whole months together?! Confused

bigbluestars · 06/11/2014 21:24

"
People actually celebrate 6 whole months together?! confused
"

I expect many 16 year olds do.

Fruityb · 06/11/2014 21:32

Why do people use the word anniversary when it's not been a year??? 6 months isn't long either. YABVU

I don't care whether it came from pound land tescos or tiffanys so long as it shows he cares.

FrauHelga · 06/11/2014 21:34
FrauHelga · 06/11/2014 21:35

Actually, probably more this one :

www.christmasuk.org/entry_2176

bigbluestars · 06/11/2014 21:53

"An anniversary is a day that commemorates or celebrates a past event that occurred on the same date of the year as the initial event. For example, the first event is the initial occurrence or, if planned, the inaugural of the event. One year later would be the first anniversary of that event. "

Six months is such a random thing.

Poor guy.

SisterMoonshine · 06/11/2014 21:58

Well maybe he's learnt his lesson for the 7 month anniversary...

ThePinkOcelot · 06/11/2014 22:09

Why didn't you book the hotel break on Groupon?!

My DH hasn't bought me an anniversary present ever. Should I divorce him?! Tbh, I haven't bought him one either.

maddy68 · 06/11/2014 22:13

You sound majorly high maintenance. 6month anniversary? I've heard it all now. You sound like a 12 year old. He got you a gift , you would prefer him waste money on exactly the same gift but paid more? Weird.
Your choice to sound so much money. That's just daft, you could have got a groupon deal for that.

cerealqueen · 06/11/2014 22:16

There must be more to this. You are regretting spending money on him for his birthday because he buys things on Groupon. You think that makes him a cheapskate and that he should have designed the earrings and had them made just for you in the Jewellery Quarter? You think he is unromantic? But it was a 6 month anniversary, which isn't really a thing??

Turn it around. He was looking forward to his birthday treat. Had no intention of marking 6 months who the fuck does but saw them and though, ooh nice surprise present for GF, and it happens to be our 6 month anniversary. ??

Fixerupperz · 06/11/2014 22:16

I can see how this is gonna end.

PrettyPictures92 · 06/11/2014 22:27

I would have loved a pair of earrings for any occasion, even from Groupon

Can I offer you a biscuit OP, it might make you feel better? I made the massive effort of clicking the biscuit button if that counts... Biscuit

With regards to you feeling silly about spending that amount on his birthday, well it's a lesson learned huh? But if you're close enough and happy enough with him to go to so much expense, time and effort then maybe he's the one and it won't have all been in vain :)

Every cloud, silver lining and all that

asmallandnoisymonkey · 06/11/2014 22:40

Feel a bit sorry for the boyfriend if I' honest. Not sure he realises what he's let himself in for with the OP.

kissmethere · 06/11/2014 23:39

Yabu, also I thought DB was David Beckham...I thought what's he done??

DHandhisghastlyhauntedfoot · 06/11/2014 23:44

Poor guy. Sad

justmuddlingalong · 06/11/2014 23:55

People who do/say/buy/give things and then cast it up, completely and utterly boil my piss. Be careful of that bottom lip OP, you might trip up on it. Hmm

CrashDiveOnMingoCity · 07/11/2014 08:48

As soon as I read this thread, I had a feeling your anger was more towards your self for spending more money that you felt comfortable with.

Gestures and kindness don't have to be weekends away or gifts, it can be the little things. Earrings and posh dinners mean nothing if the affection and emotion isn't there. Is it there for you? I'm not asking for an answer, just something to think about.

Your relationship sounds very intense, slow it down and enjoy the early months together. Feeling like this now does not bode well for the future.

MrsAtticus · 07/11/2014 08:50

YABU, he did something lovely for you.

MrsAtticus · 07/11/2014 08:52

To put it in context, my DH takes things from skips if he thinks I will like them Blush the point is that he is thinking about me.

WD41 · 07/11/2014 08:54

A 6 month anniversary isn't "something a little special" OP. Not once you're past your teens anyhow.

Feel sorry for the poor bloke.