to be totally pissed off with DB

[dontknowwhatnametopick]

I have been seeing my DB for almost 7 months now and in October it was his birthday. I decided that I would take him away for the weekend. I made the effort to look for somewhere really nice and paid quite a bit of money for the room for the 2 nights. I am on a pitiful NHS wage and quite high rent and also have a DS who is alomst 5 so money is tight, dipped into savings for this as I really wanted to do something nice for him. This weekend also fell on our 6 month anniversary.

So on the 2nd night I had booked a lovely restaurant took him out for a birthday meal and he produces me a gift of ear rings telling me its to mark our 6 months, lovely I thought, a guy has actually made the effort to go out and do something like this.

I then find out that there has actually been no effort at all he has bought them off groupon for next to nothing. I am not pissed off at how much they were I am pissed off for the little effort.

When we have date nights we do use groupon and thats fine but AIBU to think that when its for something a little special then some fucking effort should be made!!!

How do you know he put no effort in to buying them, he could have spent weeks trawling through jewlery shops unable to find the perfect gift for you, until voila they appear on groupon.

Seriously, if you are annoyed enough to post here and ask about it then maybe then maybe it is not the right relationship for you.

If you are serious about him then he'd better start hunting now for the one year anniversary gift!

By the way I am a regular poster, just name changed my rather rubbish and obvious username.

YABVU

Most blokes wouldn't even notice let alone celebrate a 6 month anniversary. He has put thought into it, he could have got you nothing. I don't get what the poor guy has done wrong.

Your bloke would be legend in Yorkshie where i live, not only did he get you a gift but he also saved money while doing so.

If you really want to feel hard done by then take my soon to be ex DP. He got me fuck all for my 30th birthday, not because he forgot, because he didn't even know when it was. We've been together on and off for 11 years.

On thinking about things I think im more pissed off with myself to be honest for spending all that money. I really just wanted to make it special for his birthday and I now feel like a bit of a mug for spending what I did.

I dont think im a bitch and for those that I said I should look my priorities with money, my DS gets everything he needs, my savings were for a rainy day.

Poor judgement on this from my side, I have learned my lesson and wont be spending that amount again.

I'm surprised you didn't find a groupon deal for the hotel, they come up quite often and look really good value.

If he hadn't told you they were from groupon I presume you would have appreciated them more? Pretty shallow.

What did you parents get him? Is it normal in your family for the sibling whose birthday it is to buy the other(s) a present? Normally it is only the birthday-person who gets gifts.

I am a bit baffled by your relationship to be honest - it sounds like a lot of work for both of you. Perhaps back off a bit?

You spent it - your choice. No good blaming him and his gift.

Oh, I've just re-read and realised he is your boyfriend, not brother!

I am an idiot.

I still think this all sounds very angsty and over-involved. You wanted to take him away for his birthday, and did so. He chose to get you a small gift to say thank you, and did so. Either of you not being grateful for what the other has done would be being ungrateful.

I think it makes more sense you are projecting your annoyance at yourself for going ott for his birthday when it wasn't warranted. there is no difference in effort expended to buy earrings in a shop or from groupon.

You sound incredibly materialistic, if you can't afford something don't buy it or go on Groupon and find an offer and then get it thrown back in your face

No, actually fudgeface it's not each to their own, your post was a pretty shitty personal attack, so against the rules.

Is there a reason that you spent so much, or even thought of a weekend away plus meal out for someone who you have only been seeing for 6 months?

It takes the same amount of effort to buy 20 pound earrings online, 40 pound or any other price.

I'm trying and failing to see your side.

YABU and very ungrateful.

It is not his fault that you overspent on his birthday. He did do something nice for you - he didn't have to get you a 6 month anniversary present. Most people wouldn't expect one and would be pleasantly surprised to get anything!

I don't understand where he hadn't made the effort? You took him away for his birthday and 6m anniversary.

He bought you a gift for anniversary (which isn't actually a thing but suspect you're the type who celebrated each monthiversary). You don't think his gift is good enough.

What were you expecting exactly?

I think that the fact he went and bought the gift on his own with no input from you is effort enough no??

Beat gifts dh has bought me are ones which I wasn't expecting and he'd thought about himself.

I'm entitled to my opinion as much as anyone else and I stand by what I said. It wasn't that shitty and is the same thing I said to my partner's 22 year old daughter when she asked me on her birthday "is that all you got me". Spoiled and ungrateful and it angers me.

Are you sore because he was savvy and found a deal? Because you could have done the same, Groupon has ones away.

If he's on a limited budget perhaps he lives within his means and searches for the perfect presents which don't screw him over financially? To have got Groupon and then got the gift delivered he obviously thought a bit in advance.

Unless he has form for taking you to MacDonald's when you pay for you both to go to ZaZa's all the time then you're being really off. I'm glad the first Christmas my DH and I were together he didn't think your way! He surprised me with a very thoughtful £200 gift, I'd been struggling and didn't want to use savings when they'd be better served for when needed, I used moneysavingexpert to help me get him something nice at a much cheaper price.

And how would it be more effort to walk into Fraser Hart and say 'I need something for my girlfriend, yeah that one'? It wouldn't, it would just cost more.

Wow. Do you know how ungrateful and money grabbing your post came across? How do you know he didn't put time and effort in? Does it matter where they came from or how much they cost? He saw them and thought you'd like them.

you chose to spend all that money - and you went with him, enjoyed the hotel and the meals out ...for his birthday

or did you do all of that because really the 6 month thing is more important to you and you are pissed off it didn't overshadow his birthday?

6 month anniversary isn't actually a THING!

6 months in and your using your savings for luxury weekends away as a birthday gift? Sorry but I think you are mad. Plus who honestly expects a huge effort for a 6 month anniversary (unless your 14 years old)

How much effort is needed to buy some earrings? It's the thought that counts. I hope he doesn't know how you feel about this.

You are unreasonable and ungrateful. Give him a break.

Really?!

You sound like a spoilt child.

My favourite bit of this thread is everyone who thinks op is talking about her brother.

YABU.

I'm also imagining the type of "effort" you'd consider acceptable. Maybe like the Milk Tray man jumping off cliffs and swimming through shark infested waters to present you with his special gift

You're not comparing like for like, his birthday vs a non-anniversary? Why not wait until your birthday disappointment then whinge

What is a six month anniversary? Have I missed something? in fact I don't know how you can have an anniversary if you are not married- otherwise what is it marking? The first meeting? The first date?The first kiss? the first shag?