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AIBU?

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To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark

742 replies

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 17:55

I went out today to get a few bits and bobs and ended up in a Primark. Got to the lifts and saw a woman waiting with a pushchair and on it was hanging a school bag. Looked to her side and she had a school aged child with her who was visibly ill, shivering, moaning. I assumed she'd picked him up from school and was dropping by on way home, but then realised school bag was from a school other side of town.

We went up together and the boy was whimpering now and looked really bad. The mother didn't seem to notice/care.

So I was walking around and the tanoy went off asking for a store cleaner to go to "area bla bla bla" for a clean up. Didn't really take any notice until I walked to the other side of the shop and the same woman was standing there with a now crying baby in pushchair and crying/ shivering child who had been sick all over the shop floor. There were splatters of pink sick on clothes, the mirrors, it was disgusting and she was stood there on the phone to someone and was telling the boy off.

I don't know about anyone else, but when my children get ill and shiver like that with fever, the last thing I'd do is traipse them across town. I'd give them a hug and put them in bed and hold their head if they were being sick. Goodness knows vomiting is draining even for an adult.

I felt so angry for the poor boy. So I walked up to her and said "instead of bringing him to the shops from school, you should've taken him home to bed. I'd take him straight home and give the poor thing a hug".

I think she was more shocked than anything.

DH thinks I wbu and is shocked I'd say that to someone. I don't think I am. Also, I now feel sick and think I have his germs.

OP posts:
northernlurker · 05/11/2014 20:28

So all you heard was '"look what you've done now, look at the mess you've made" and you're defining that as a telling off? Op did you get an empathy bypass at the same time as your sanctimony implant? Hmm

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 20:29

What the hell?! I made a situation up in my head then posted on here? How ridiculous. I'm not even going to retaliate to that. Completely bizarre anyone would think that.

The school the boy went to (logo printed on bag) is across the other side of the city centre. It takes about 20mins to get from that area to town. If he'd been ill at school too, it must have taken time for the mum to get there, then pick him up and bring him in to town. Then she'd spent time shopping downstairs. So yes. I believe he had been ill for more than an hour.

OP posts:
YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 05/11/2014 20:30

I shouted at dd for being sick once. It was at the end of a long and very tiring day. I was being completely out of line but in my stressed head it was like she did it on purpose on my new carpet (of course she didn't). I immediately apologised and gave her a big hug. But there it is. I shouted at my child for vomiting. Baaaad mummy!

fourwoodenchairs · 05/11/2014 20:33

I think you've embellished certain aspects of the story, yes.

FrauHelga · 05/11/2014 20:35

how do you know she was his mother?

Ir1na · 05/11/2014 20:35

Can people who are being rude to other posters Hmm please say what they would have done in this situation?

MrsDeVere · 05/11/2014 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere · 05/11/2014 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WD41 · 05/11/2014 20:41

Seeings as you didn't know the woman, then how on earth do you know that she wasn't stressed?

When DD is having a tantrum in public I show no emotion on my face whatsoever and stay silent. It's my way of coping. People might look at me and think I'm not stressed or embarrassed - they don't know the half of it.

fourwoodenchairs · 05/11/2014 20:42

I would have done one of two things;

1)I would have done absolutely nothing as in that situation it's none of my business to stick my nose in

  1. Offered in anyway I could. Whether that be rock the pushchair, offer baby wipes or just a quick chat empathising that I had been in her position before.

I did number 2 last year. Saw a mum struggling. Offered to help. I thought that is what most people do? Unfortunately not.

EugenesAxe · 05/11/2014 20:42

I was going to post the same as SirChenjin really. Actually there are loads of parents that don't give much of a shit about their children out there and it is equally possible that she is one, as it is that she cares deeply but couldn't avoid the shopping trip. The kind of stuff in her basket didn't sound like 'Nnngh - I know you don't feel well but I really need to nip out to get XYZ, can you try to cope while I get them?' stuff.

All these people saying 'kids can turn quickly' and 'why are you asking?' and 'what were you trying to achieve in telling her this?', I would point you to:

  1. Kid came from school and was whimpering some time before vomit occurred
  2. Because OP wants to square a dispute with her DH
  3. Not to make herself feel better (who the fuck would ever do that?) but to try and improve things for the boy.

OK so we don't know the full story, but on the whole, I think YANBU OP.

EatDessertFirst · 05/11/2014 20:44

This reply has been deleted

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BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 20:44

Yes. Because I live life to earn that highly coveted Internet medal. Hmm. How pathetic accusing someone of lying just because it doesn't sound real to your ears. Well, sorry, but it did happen. I did tell her her son needed a hug because he was crying and shivering like anything. I don't like seeing ill children suffer needlessly.

OP posts:
FrauHelga · 05/11/2014 20:45

The bed was not in Primark.

"To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark"

I am having a vision of vomiting child being tucked up in a display bed in Primark.

FrauHelga · 05/11/2014 20:46

BigRedBall - I have asked a number of times. Could you answer me? How do you know it was her son?

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 20:48

I saw a woman with a basket in a shop as I shared a lift with her....how eagle eyed am I? Hmm

OP posts:
EatShitDezza · 05/11/2014 20:48

So you even knew what was in her basket?! Hmm

You have been offered your blue peter badge or whatever you wanted to gain from this. Well done.

I'd have told you to fuck off tbh.

EatDessertFirst · 05/11/2014 20:49

Too 'eagle-eyed' Hmm clearly. You need to mind your own business.

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 20:50

FrauHelga, I have assumed it was her son. Even if it wasn't, who'd take a child they'd picked up from school straight to the shops?

OP posts:
FrauHelga · 05/11/2014 20:52

I might, if my friend asked me as a favour to lift her child from school but I had stuff I needed to get for my own children and had made plans.

formerbabe · 05/11/2014 20:53

Even if it wasn't, who'd take a child they'd picked up from school straight to the shops?

Someone who needs to buy something urgently?

I have a vague recollection of once stopping at the petrol station to fill up with my ill child in the car...Shock

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 20:53

eatshitdezza Where have I stated I knew what was inside her basket? Confused.
I saw a woman with a basket in a shop. I saw loads of others too.

Wow. This is getting a bit hysterical now.

OP posts:
FrauHelga · 05/11/2014 20:54

And we all know what happens when you make an assumption?

You make an ASS out of U and ME

Sicksquid · 05/11/2014 20:55

I, too, am hiding this thread due to the preposterous twattishness of those posters saying the OP should have shut the fuck up and minded her own business. You really are apologists of the worst kind Angry

Ir1na · 05/11/2014 20:56

I'd probably have ignored it then TBH - I couldn't help as I don't drive, haven't usually got spare money for a taxi and have no kids so couldn't even say I'd been in a similar position. Blush
People should also intervene more if they see someone being bullied online though! hint hint!

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