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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark

742 replies

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 17:55

I went out today to get a few bits and bobs and ended up in a Primark. Got to the lifts and saw a woman waiting with a pushchair and on it was hanging a school bag. Looked to her side and she had a school aged child with her who was visibly ill, shivering, moaning. I assumed she'd picked him up from school and was dropping by on way home, but then realised school bag was from a school other side of town.

We went up together and the boy was whimpering now and looked really bad. The mother didn't seem to notice/care.

So I was walking around and the tanoy went off asking for a store cleaner to go to "area bla bla bla" for a clean up. Didn't really take any notice until I walked to the other side of the shop and the same woman was standing there with a now crying baby in pushchair and crying/ shivering child who had been sick all over the shop floor. There were splatters of pink sick on clothes, the mirrors, it was disgusting and she was stood there on the phone to someone and was telling the boy off.

I don't know about anyone else, but when my children get ill and shiver like that with fever, the last thing I'd do is traipse them across town. I'd give them a hug and put them in bed and hold their head if they were being sick. Goodness knows vomiting is draining even for an adult.

I felt so angry for the poor boy. So I walked up to her and said "instead of bringing him to the shops from school, you should've taken him home to bed. I'd take him straight home and give the poor thing a hug".

I think she was more shocked than anything.

DH thinks I wbu and is shocked I'd say that to someone. I don't think I am. Also, I now feel sick and think I have his germs.

OP posts:
firesidechat · 06/11/2014 12:19

I agree with you Harold. Like I have already said I've intervened before, but there are ways and means of doing it. Call the police, talk to the staff and sometimes talk the person directly.

I think most people, if they wanted to help in the ops situation, would have started with an "are you ok, is there anything I can do to help?".

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:20

Thanks

I think it stems from my childhood when my mother was dragging me by the hair through Morrisons with poo trailing behind me from my trouser leg and some Leftie bystanders were commenting: 'Ooo.. look, Mary, mum must be in a heck of a rush to be rushing that child quite so vehemently out of the shop. Quick, should we open the door for her or something?'

notonthebandwagon · 06/11/2014 12:20

Hm, a mum telling off her child for throwing up. Yeah, it doesn't look good and maybe she's like that all the time or maybe it was a one off. In any case, perhaps you could have handled her bad conduct by not conducting yourself in a way that deliberately makes you feel better and her feel shitter? How about instead of judgement you had offered her a kind word or a hand in some way?

Only you were there, non of us reading this was, but judgement doesn't really do anything, compassion and understanding could have turned the situation around and made her think. The best you probably did was cause her to think reactively and just as indignantly as you come across in your post.

Poopooweewee · 06/11/2014 12:21

Sometimes the stuff I read on here makes me ashamed to be female.

firesidechat · 06/11/2014 12:21

Sicksquid has only been here 5 minutes and already so angry.

Usually it takes a few months of mumsnet to get to that level of rage.

firesidechat · 06/11/2014 12:22

Which things Poop?

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 06/11/2014 12:22

Correcting someone else's grammar is like saying " I'm exhausted. I have no where else to go but I want you to remember what a massive bell end I am."

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:23
  • "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?'
  • "Yeah. Just 'old onto t'fuckin' lad will ya? I need to go an' gerra size 18 in this onesie."
YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 06/11/2014 12:25

Don't be ridiculous. Size 18 is gold dust in primark.

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:26

Fireside, I actually felt like exploding about an hour after joining but thought I would do as you advise and, you know...give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Turn away. Don't say anything. Don't know the full story. Don't judge.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 12:27

It's like Frankie Boyle is amongst us.

notonthebandwagon · 06/11/2014 12:28

Gosh, a script and everything!

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 12:28

That's not what people are actually SAYING though angry squidward.

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:29

Harold, I'm touching cloth. Pass me the fucking newspaper.

firesidechat · 06/11/2014 12:29

Nobody said turn away, but giving people the benefit of the doubt? Yes.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 06/11/2014 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 12:30

Or this:

OI worra you doing with that sick kid, you're a disgrace take him home and HUG him for the love of baby cheesus

SMACK
BOINK

OW
BLOOD

SIRENS

REGRET

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:31

Don't you get bored of being so achingly understanding and compassionate?

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 12:31

You love shit don't you.

Blimey just take a dump I can't help you.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 12:32

I never tire of having common sense.

It's great aye.

FrauHelga · 06/11/2014 12:32

Squid how do you know what part of the country the woman in the shop was from? Where does the OP say that?

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 06/11/2014 12:33

Just mn on the shitter for the love of God. No wonder you're getting all emotional like.

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 12:33

Why would I get bored of being a kind person?

One day you'll learn the hard way and it isn't a nice lesson to learn.

Pollyteacakes · 06/11/2014 12:35

I really don't think the op deserves all this. She saw a poorly little boy being dragged round the shops, who then threw up while the mother carried on talking on the phone. Mother was vexed by this child daring to be sick so proceeded to shout at him?? That to my mind is being cruel and neglectful.
Maybe the op went a bit over the top the way she approached the mother but scenes like that are hard to witness and it must be very hard to stay quiet.
This mother probably has no idea that to most people dragging a poorly child round shops and then shouting at them for being sick is unacceptable. Imo she deserved to be told, who knows it might have done her a bit of good.

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:35
  • "Erm...sorry but I couldn't help noticing that your son is feverish, wobbly, crying and vomiting all over the shop."
  • "Yeah. So fuckin' what? 'Ave you never 'eard of Christmas? It's only fuckin' two months away and I've got twenty-eight fuckin' nieces and nephews to buy fer."
  • [bowing; scraping] "Oh yes..quite. So sorry, old chap. Here's a tissue anyway as I can see the boy has started to shit himself now."