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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark

742 replies

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 17:55

I went out today to get a few bits and bobs and ended up in a Primark. Got to the lifts and saw a woman waiting with a pushchair and on it was hanging a school bag. Looked to her side and she had a school aged child with her who was visibly ill, shivering, moaning. I assumed she'd picked him up from school and was dropping by on way home, but then realised school bag was from a school other side of town.

We went up together and the boy was whimpering now and looked really bad. The mother didn't seem to notice/care.

So I was walking around and the tanoy went off asking for a store cleaner to go to "area bla bla bla" for a clean up. Didn't really take any notice until I walked to the other side of the shop and the same woman was standing there with a now crying baby in pushchair and crying/ shivering child who had been sick all over the shop floor. There were splatters of pink sick on clothes, the mirrors, it was disgusting and she was stood there on the phone to someone and was telling the boy off.

I don't know about anyone else, but when my children get ill and shiver like that with fever, the last thing I'd do is traipse them across town. I'd give them a hug and put them in bed and hold their head if they were being sick. Goodness knows vomiting is draining even for an adult.

I felt so angry for the poor boy. So I walked up to her and said "instead of bringing him to the shops from school, you should've taken him home to bed. I'd take him straight home and give the poor thing a hug".

I think she was more shocked than anything.

DH thinks I wbu and is shocked I'd say that to someone. I don't think I am. Also, I now feel sick and think I have his germs.

OP posts:
fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 11:33

What if OP lied and the mother hadn't actually told of her child, but the OP had added it in for affect to make everyone agree with her? which backfired thankfully

The answer is you just don't know and when you don't know its best to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Really, it's not hard to grasp...

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 11:33

Fucking iPad - ignore spelling mistakes.

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 11:34

..and you know what? The only superior types are you who come here to lecture the OP for whom you have no evidence to show she was acting from a position of superiority.

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 11:34

Normally it changes fucking to ducking how weird Grin

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 11:34

Right back at ya Squid Grin

MiddletonPink · 06/11/2014 11:36

Sicksquid we can read what the OP has written and that's enough to show she was acting in a superior manner.

wickedlazy · 06/11/2014 11:38

Ir1na just reading your reply. It's okay. I live in NI and I think we're a bit more friendly/open with strangers than other places. Often chat to strangers about random stuff, so a poorly child in public would get at least a few nice comments.

I was in the shop the other day, putting the last packet of brownies in my basket, when a lady said to me "they look lovely, I'm coming to your house for tea". To which ds shouted "no they're my buns!" I told him not to be cheeky and she patted his head and said "awk god love him" then "I may head on" -translation: I have to go- and we waved goodbye/said cherio.

Now I think about it, I can see how in a different area with a different type of people she might have seemed bonkers saying that lol. Maybe we're all just a bit bonkers over here. Smile

OTheHugeManatee · 06/11/2014 11:39

Splendid ranting, SickSquid I'd be delighted to run into you anytime.

Theodore Dalrymple said once (I cba to look up the wording, sorry) that that an act of generosity that inconveniences others but not yourself isn't generosity, it's moral exhibitionism. This pious 'mustn't judge' posturing is the absolute epitome of exactly that kind of moral exhibitionism and I'm with SickSquid in thinking it's bollocks.

NoisyOyster · 06/11/2014 11:44

On another note, I threw up today. Spectacularly Grin

However, 'twasn't from illness. I blame the gin prawns

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 11:44

Park life

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 11:45

Hope you've not got gastroenteritis Oyster, I'm currently on day 5 - agony!

firesidechat · 06/11/2014 11:46

I don't understand that argument at all Manatee. How is not judging moral exhibitionism? How did the op inconvenience herself by having a go? Offering to help might have been more of an inconvenience.

Of course I judge because it's a human trait, but I try not to make other people aware of my failings and make their life worse. I have enough self awareness to know that my judging is no help to anyone.

firesidechat · 06/11/2014 11:54

I probably ought to add that there are clear cut cases when public judging may be necessary - beating an animal, beating a person, bullying and there are sure to be a few more, but you would have to be pretty sure of the true situation before publicaly humiliating someone.

KateSMumsnet · 06/11/2014 11:58

Hi everyone,

Thank you to everyone who reported this thread to us. We're going to take another look now, in the meantime can we remind you all of our talk guidelines - which includes personal attacks and troll hunting

Mumsnet is a site for parental support and help, and if there's one thing that can make this parenting lark a bit easier it's understanding and, as our dear Olivia would say, peace and love.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 06/11/2014 12:00

Fourwoodenchairs. I'm wheezing here. :o

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 12:02

I'm not sure if that's good or bad Your!

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 12:04

Squid love, do everyone a favour and stay out of shops until you calm down.

You might start head butting people.

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:05

No. No. No. No. No. You do not need to know the full story before you intervene in another person's shit. Otherwise, we would never pick up the phone to the police when we see our neighbour's living room window prised open and a bad-looking sort filling his swag bag with loot ('But he may have been the owner! He perhaps forgot his keys!') Sometimes we need to put the boot in just to wake these shitty people up and say 'look, hang on a minute. The poor lad's throwing up in Primark whilst you shop for fuck-knows-what whilst shouting at him? Fuck off home and put that boy to bed and cuddle him, you sorry-arsed bint.'

Anyway, I've just got off the phone from Miriam Gondola-Cornetto-Clegg who agreed that this woman was a shitty example of someone who needs to get to her nearest Sure Start centre and beg to be allowed on one of their parenting courses. She also added that she would have booted the trollop down the escalator on her way out.

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:07

Harold, dear, do me a favour and pass me the Guardian. I've had a shit and need something to wipe my arse on.

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 12:08

Yep, officially lost it.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 12:08

You don't need the full story in my opinion, but without it you proceed WITH CAUTION for the saftey of yourself, the child if nothing else.

If she is the person you are accusing her of she could quite easily start something with you.

There could be a right set too in the primark lift.

If this like y'know even actually happened.

Sicksquid · 06/11/2014 12:12

*set-to

UptheHammers1 · 06/11/2014 12:12

Just like to say im with Sicksquid on this.... That is all.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 12:15

Oh my days are you correcting my grammar now? Grin You big knob.

OttiliaVonBCup · 06/11/2014 12:16

Squid, I'm with the OP but you do elevate ranting to spectacular levels.
Grin
It's like an art installation.

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