No alcohol at Hubby's 40th

[CookieDoughKid]

Hubby is an alcoholic. We are in a really good dry period and has been dry for three years.

It's his big 4-0 next year. Would I be unreasonable to ask guests to not bring alcohol and it to be a teetotal party??

Hubby cannot be around alcohol at all. He doesn't want to be near it. But we do want a good party.

But surely if you are going out with people other then your wife, chances are you might have others on your table drinking? Especially if it's a works function or someone elses birthday/wedding/christening?

If it was a close friend's birthday I'd be there like a shot, no matter what type of party they chose to throw.

However if it was just a casual friend, I'd probably make less of an effort to go if I knew it would be alcohol free.

Chunderella
Glad you have partaken of ideas

One of the most memorable sessions at my granny's memorial weekend was the full on family brunch at the diner : 35 of us for several hours chatting and eating and drinking tea, coffee, milk, chocolate, OJ etc

the UK has a "booze" culture
that is a fact
so to make OP's party fab she needs to think outside the box

if nothing else it will prove for all time that her DH can throw a belting party without booze being an issue - which is almost even more important

If I'm honest I would come and smuggle booze in and probably
Eave early with a bunch of people who are desperate to go to the pub Which is the harsh reality
How about organising a car treasure hunt therefore a huge proportion of people will not be drinking www.ehow.co.uk/how_6570222_organize-car-treasure-hunt.html. You could end up at a restaurant where you can be sitting on a drivers table with no booze?

Sorry for the delayed response! Had to be a 'soccer mum' and support them at a bmx race today :0

Thanks for the supportive responses. Its reassuring that teetotal can is acceptable and still have fun too!

Hooked on the idea of bungee theme!!

Some of you have asked... But basically, my dh has dropped friends that were big drinkers. They were too influential and we now center our social lives more on things like theatre and movies. Making new friends as part of a running club also helped a great deal!!

car treasure hunt thing a hoot

I'm another one who is saddened by the number of people who se alcohol as a necessity for a good time. I drink very little (no particular reason except I'm not keen on the taste) and can have a perfectly good time without it.

I'd welcome a dry party as I don't like the pressure to drink (and there is social pressure) and the amazement that I don't especially want or need alcohol to enjoy myself.

Cookie, thank goodness he did. Very wise move.
Good luck to your DH.
I agree with Dido completely...my life was wrecked by my alcoholic ex and it's put me off getting drunk, for life. Also , am on med's so it clashes, makes me sick and my meds don't work effectively. . I get bullied by certain people, to drink (some of DP's friends for e.g.) and try to avoid these people now. They won't accept a simple explanation

I do find that alcohol helps me feel more comfortable at social events, but I'd be more than happy to forgo it if that was important to a friend. In both of my pregnancies I found I managed surprisingly well without booze at parties. (but I did used to go home earlier)

Yanbu at all. But I am one of those people with poor social skills who can only really get through a party situation with a few drinks inside me. Also some people may just drink before they go to the party- I have friends who refuse to pay pub prices so just have several before going out!

My dad was an alcoholic. Sober 34 years (all of my and my sisters lives) - well done dad.

Alcohol is part of life and to be frank your husband will have to learn how to be around it without fearing he will slip. Weddings, christenings, parties. He can't avoid them forever. Your own party - up to you. If you told me there was no drink I'd be surprised, particularly if I didn't know your husband was an alcoholic. I'd also be concerned about hip flasks / people nipping out for a drink.

Is your husband concerned about his sobriety?

YANBU. Do it. I don't understand how people can't seem to have a good time without it (or are really surprised when they do).

He is doing amazingly - knowing the situations that will be a trigger and avoiding them because he knows he is finding it hard is magnificent.

I'd do an afternoon tea theme (even if an evening do) and get people playing traditional parlour games - sounds dull but from my experience this can degenerate into something very silly.

Brunch or tea party. Count me in!

Barn dance etc fantastic.

No alcohol needed at either. Every one, all ages has a great time, no one needs baby sitters as the kids come too. After all you are 40 there must be primary school/ young teens about.

My idea of hell - boozy disco where I'd just feel miserable and couldn't even chat as it would be loud!

Have your dry party. Have a really amazing time, and be able to remember it and function the next day too!

I am incredibly socially awkward, I don't really know how to act in large crowds or in party situations, so when I do go to big parties, I get drunk. Then I don't have to worry about how to act, because the alcohol does it for me. And what happens? I am a twat. A massive, drunk, foolish, misbehaving twat. Sometimes it is funny drunk (I'm the karaoke queen, I own the dancefloor), sometimes it is annoying drunk, sometimes loud drunk, and sometimes I am kissing everyone's husbands. (No tongue)

Then I wake up the next day and I feel sick and I hate myself for being a twat.

So I would welcome a dry party. I'd feel awkward and uncomfortable and not really know what to do with my hands and assume everyone is laughing about how shit my hair is, but I wouldn't be able to get drunk, so the next morning would be so much more pleasant for me.

I agree with pp that if there is some kind of "thing" to hang it on then socially retarded idiots like me will find it easier to cope if they have something to do, but to be fair, people like me aren't really your problem :)

Have a great party!!

Real friends will understand why no booze. Other people dont matter

Assume friends know his history and again will understand

Yes Obv will have to get used to being around booze and can't avoid it forever but it's very different having a meal out and seeing people drink from having a party with lots of people drinking

Tea and cake sounds great - congrats on 3yrs to your dh - sadly mine didn't manage to stay sober