No alcohol at Hubby's 40th

[CookieDoughKid]

Hubby is an alcoholic. We are in a really good dry period and has been dry for three years.

It's his big 4-0 next year. Would I be unreasonable to ask guests to not bring alcohol and it to be a teetotal party??

Hubby cannot be around alcohol at all. He doesn't want to be near it. But we do want a good party.

A tea party sounds like a great idea, why not make it mega extravagant, mad hatter style?

I was ready to say YABU until I read your full Op.

Any real friends will understand.

Good luck.

I'm not sure you can compare battling alcoholism with being on a diet.

Hospitality wise.

How many of the guests know he has an alcohol problem and does he mind people knowing?

If they all know or he doesn't mind them knowing then I'd go with an alcohol free party, otherwise I would find something else to do.

YANBU, if his friends don't understand then they're dickheads not true friends. Virgin cocktails is a great idea.

I think a band would be a great idea :)

Where will you have the party though ? At home or a hired village hall type place fine but if in a hired room in a restaurant / bar people can buy there own drinks?

I know it's sad but groups of friends will arrange to leave early & go on to another venue like a pub IMO

It's a bit like "I'm on a diet so at my dinner party im not serving food " approach to hospitality.

Don't think that's a fair comparison at all. The person on a diet could serve healthy food, just as the alcoholic would serve alcohol free drinks.

Wouldn't bother me going to an alcohol free party, at all. Hope your DH has a fab birthday and well done to him on his sobriety.

I wonder if people would being a hip flask.

Bring

Of course YANBU. And I feel quite strongly that anyone who doesn't support this doesn't deserve to come. I would not put my desire for a drink above the hosts need to remain away from temptation.
Accept people will disagree / not come; accept they probably are not good friends.

Doesn't? Don't!

I wonder if people would being a hip flask.

Sounds like they should be attending some AA meetings with OP's DH if that's the case.

Of course!!

Do it! I'd love to go. Hire an ice cream van with a slush machine too

I don't think you need to 'replace' the alcohol but if the party falls a little flat it's absence might be blamed. You would want it to be a roaring success - to celebrate your remarkable husband and prove life without alcohol is as good as it gets.

You're both doing great.

No you are not being unreasonable in the least and if they are true friends of yours they would understand that your H cannot drink alcohol ever again.

how does he manage other occasoins op?

Yanbu - makes perfect sense. Maybe try and do something not normally too booze-orientated as well, so it won't be as noticeable. A special brunch/tea party or something?

A good evening party in the traditional sense without alcohol is likely to fail. Think of a daytime activity followed by a late lunch.

Completely agree that people who are so immature that they can't socialise without booze at a 40th birthday party are probably rubbish guests/friends anyway.

Many, many cultures manage to socialise without booze and there are plenty of other ways to break the ice.

Anybody who can't go to a party without a hip flask or who would leave early to go to the pub really should be thinking about going to AA themselves.

I am actually astounded by some of the responses.

If I was going to a friends birthday and I knew they were a dry alcoholic I would assume it was a dry party! There is no way I would expect your husband to risk his sobriety so that I could get plastered at his 40th.

Just put on the invites that it is an alcohol free event and have whatever kind of party you and DH choose.

Well done to your DH and I hope he has a lovely birthday.

I'd love a dry party!

I'm don't drink very much, and I don't like the way social events revolve around alcohol these days, and you get labelled boring or a party pooper if you don't drink. I get a lot of pressure to drink, even after I've said multiple times I don't want to.

I've been out on multiple occasions, had loads of fun, and people have assumed I'm drunk when I'm totally sober. You can have fun sober :)

WTF is the Cheryl Cole picture there for Noelle

I too would love a dry party. Wish it was more the norm. Hate hangovers, mine last 2 days on relatively little alcohol and I find it boring being around drunk people.
Have a great party op

its a gif. Doesn't work on here, it seems one more try
SURE I must be an alcoholic.