To be hurt re dh's comments about my job?

[Fallslikelondonrain]

I've been a sahm since having ds but now he's at school I started job hunting.
I was a teacher prior to having ds but didn't want to go back into it, the hours are so long and ds is only just 5. I don't want him in after and before school club every day and I don't want to leave him in childcare through the holidays, it would be different if we had family nearby to help out but we don't. Dh also works very long hours and travels away a lot. I know even if I, working 60 hours a week he still won't help with ds or do anything round the house. I also have been diagnosed with some health problems which mean I am unwell some of the time, I cannot at the moment do 60 hours weeks. Dh earns £100k plus so financially we are ok. Consequently I've opted to go back as a TA, it's five days a week but I will be able to fetch ds although he will need to go in to before school club some mornings.

Obviously the wages aren't great. However there were a lot of applicants including three other interviewees who were internal candidates in non-permanent roles. So I was quite pleased when they rang and said I'd got the job. It was also the first one Id applied for so was very lucky.
However the shine has well and truly been taken from it by DH making the following comments:

Not surprised you got it, no other teacher would be stupid enough to work for peanuts.
I earn as much in ten hours as you will in a month.
I have four GCSEs and you have a degree, but who is the most successful?

He commented this morning in front of my inlaws and some mutual friends about how little I was earning - telling them the exact amount - and how I'd earn more as a street cleaner.

For me it's a big thing going back after five years out of work. I know it's not the greatest job in the world financially and that I'm never going to be a high flyer. But I was pleased. Was. Not so much now.

Aibu?

Congratulations on your job OP. Your husband is an arsehole. I hope he has redeeming features because between this and the fact you haven't had any more for years he doesn't sound much good.

£17k full time would work out about £14.5k I think, so not loads but not horrendous given the savings you make on childcare.

So,what the fuck is he doing with all the family money to leave you so short ? Wanker !! This is absolutely financial abuse .
But well done, nailing the first job you applied for - he is shitting himself that your going to get your financial independence back and have some choices .
I hope you re post in Relationships so you can get some support and advice because your h sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Congratulations on your job, OP. TA jobs are notoriously difficult to get.

Your dh is abusing you financially. You are worth so much more.

Hollie has put it much better than me. Lol

I recommend earning 10x what your husband does. Much fun. Never give up or or take long maternity leaves - it always comes back go haunt you. Only tolerate men who do as much as you do at home.

He doesn't sound very kind, does he for someone only on £100k.

So what is going to happen if your son ever fails an exam?
if he doesnt do well at a sports competition?

If he decides to become a social worker and not a Banker?

I think your h has managed to bring you down over the years, my worry would be that he will do the same with your son. There is nothing worst than constantly worrying about dissapointing your parents.

Also as he doesnt have any empathy for your health issue God forbits your son developes any health issue that holds him back at scool and sports.

Imo if you decide to stay with him you must keep an eye on the impact he has on ds and any signs of anxiety on your ds.

Congratulations on the job, to get the first you applied for and in the field/capacity you wanted, on top of that, is marvellous.

I would be appalled by the comments made by your DH, especially to outsiders. It would cool my relationship right down to freezing temperature.

I'm a TA and a single parent. I absolutely love my job and would allow no one to put me down. I manage my home, my worklife and answer to myself. This is why I can see myself staying single for the foreseeable future, life is so much harder with a disrespectful dh pulling you down. Resentment builds up when you are the only one pulling your weight, or caring for the dcs.
I love my independence, and if after a hard day I feel like ordering takeaway, eating under blankets on the sofa and getting into pjs at 4.30pm - I can. No considering anyone but me and dcs.
I also wonder what you get out of this relationship.
Respect is not it.

Op I am in exactly the situation as you except my dp was as thrilled as I was when I got my job.An achievement after 10 years out of the school environment.

Yes as a former teacher I could be in senior management or a headship like my peers but that isn't what I want.I love teaching and being able to enjoy teaching as opposed to managing budgets and adults.

I love my job and feel very lucky to be able to say that.I also enjoy what it gives me too.

Well done you and enjoy.I hate commenting on relationships I don't know but your dh does sound like an arse.

Congratulations on getting the job you want on your terms. Brilliant.

Your DH is an idiot of the highest order. Jeez, he doesn't deserve you.

Shame his £100k job hasn't taught him to be a decent human being.

He sounds awful.
If it's any consolation as I was reading your post, before you got to what job you'd applying for or his appalling comments, I was thinking, 'she should work as a TA' for all the reasons you realise it will be perfect, sensible hours, no home support etc.
The sneering at you in public is really worrying. What did his family say? My decent husband wouldn't talk to me in public like that not only because he's lovely but because it would result in a stand up row from everyone else including me.

Most tas in my lea are paid for 25 hours only. A level 3 ta starting salary is 15882 pa for 37 hours. We get paid for 44.4 weeks a year.that works out at just over £9k pa pro rata.

i know many teachers returni g to work as a ta. yanbu. he is. Congratulations op.

I know a couple of teaching assistants who earn around £1300 a month after tax and pension.