To be hurt re dh's comments about my job?

[Fallslikelondonrain]

I've been a sahm since having ds but now he's at school I started job hunting.
I was a teacher prior to having ds but didn't want to go back into it, the hours are so long and ds is only just 5. I don't want him in after and before school club every day and I don't want to leave him in childcare through the holidays, it would be different if we had family nearby to help out but we don't. Dh also works very long hours and travels away a lot. I know even if I, working 60 hours a week he still won't help with ds or do anything round the house. I also have been diagnosed with some health problems which mean I am unwell some of the time, I cannot at the moment do 60 hours weeks. Dh earns £100k plus so financially we are ok. Consequently I've opted to go back as a TA, it's five days a week but I will be able to fetch ds although he will need to go in to before school club some mornings.

Obviously the wages aren't great. However there were a lot of applicants including three other interviewees who were internal candidates in non-permanent roles. So I was quite pleased when they rang and said I'd got the job. It was also the first one Id applied for so was very lucky.
However the shine has well and truly been taken from it by DH making the following comments:

Not surprised you got it, no other teacher would be stupid enough to work for peanuts.
I earn as much in ten hours as you will in a month.
I have four GCSEs and you have a degree, but who is the most successful?

He commented this morning in front of my inlaws and some mutual friends about how little I was earning - telling them the exact amount - and how I'd earn more as a street cleaner.

For me it's a big thing going back after five years out of work. I know it's not the greatest job in the world financially and that I'm never going to be a high flyer. But I was pleased. Was. Not so much now.

Aibu?

What an arsehole. Did the inlaws bollock him or did they look on adoringly as he insulted you?
People I know who are TAs find it really rewarding and it's such a worthwhile thing to do, plus it will fit well round your son which is worth a lot.

I thought that quite a few teachers were opting to be classroom assistants these days. Good point from hollie84.

Why not be a teacher? Long holidays, reasonable hours, it seems like a good job to me.
Why did you not go for a teaching post?

Well done on the job!!! That's brilliant.

Your husband sounds like an absolute cunt. Why are you with someone who thinks so little of you?

Do you go out on the other week day nights and the other weekend day?

pauline - teachers' hours are very long during term time, and they tend to have to work in the holidays too, so not very family-friendly.

I know a few teachers who became TAs once they had children because the teaching workload wasn't sustainable.

Do teachers work the holidays? On another thread there are people (some teachers I believe, may be wrong) talking about 13 weeks of holiday as a standard.

I didn't go back as a teacher because:
I've been out of it for a few years and feel I need some more recent classroom experience if I want to go back into it. Being a ta will allow me to do this.

I get no help from anyone else, I cannot do 60 hour weeks in term time and carry everything on my own.

My health issues mean that I often don't get much sleep and I don't think I'd cope at the moment with teaching. If I'm going to do it I want to do it properly.

Ds is still little and with dh working such long hours if I did the same he'd never see either of us.

When teaching I tended to with through most of the holidays (basically catching up with what I needed to do and planning for the coming weeks) except for the summer and a week at christmas. I certainly didn't put it to one side and switch off.

Your husband sounds vile. And the people saying 'why not go back to teaching' sound clueless.

If I were you I'd look for a teaching job and LTB to his fantastic salary, seeing as that's all that seems to matter to him.

Could you not get a part time teaching job?

reasonable hours - yeah, right

Your dh is being really horrible, so sorry. Have you pointed this out to him, or asked him why yet?

Stealth - teachers don't teach in the holidays, but most at my school are in school for some of it (preparing classrooms etc) and do a fair bit of planning and prep at home.

I'd be tempted to have my own place to live with my child, get my salary topped up, get child support and have a peaceful and happy life without some twat making fun of me.

I cannot believe that people really do thinking teaching is easy or reasonable hours

Any full on full time job if you have the sole practical responsility for a child and a house and a jerk of a husband is going to be incredibly difficult.

Unless you get a housekeeper and nanny????

There are very few part time teaching jobs and supply is largely internally covered now.

Divorce him.... He will need to give you. At least 15% of his wage.... Not such a high earner then is he!!

I'm not serious about that but I'd let him know it's an option!

15% maintenence that is

Your husband's an egotistical arsehole, sounds like his salary has gone to his head. I'd be telling him, in front of others, that the reason you're having to take a low paid job in school hours is because he's a lazy, useless git who does nothing around the house and can't be relied upon to look after his own son, and he needs someone reliable to care for him. And that the only reason he can be "successful" and a dad at the same time is because of you. Probably not at all helpful, and I wouldn't really advise you do that, but the thought of it is very satisfying.

God, this has really made me angry on your behalf. He knows you have health problems which is why you can't work long hours, yet he chooses to demean you in front of his family and friends? WTF?! Does he regularly do stuff like this?

Sorry, didn't see that you don't feel you could cope right now with teaching.

What I meant was you don't need someone like this. You could move yourself and DC closer to family and moral support rather than keep putting up with what sounds like a chauvinistic pig of a man. Staring as a TA now to get up to date experimence sounds good.

Ignore the people on the thread asking why you didn't go for a teaching job - many people don't know about the reality of teaching. I suppose that you could have taught PT and done the out of classroom work during your non-teaching days to come out with roughly the same pay and hours as a FT TA. But I think it would still be more stressful. There seem to be lots of ex-teachers doing things like TA work. I'm fairly certain that one of the staff at DD's nursery used to be a teacher.

Your DH is completely out of order. I'd tell him in no uncertain terms that he is being an arse.

starting as a TA.

He sounds vile, mine said similar to me recently. I think they conveniently forget the million other things we do which allow them to earn their wage!

Wow. He sounds awful.