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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset even though he isn't?

155 replies

JamaicanMeCrazy · 01/11/2014 14:49

It's my son's 7th birthday today. He has Aspergers and doesn't deal well with lots of people so we planned a small party with a few close friends (6 children of neighbours that he plays with a lot and his best friend from school who he has known since he was a baby). Nobody has shown up Sad

This isn't the first time this has happened, his 5th birthday we invited a few kids from school and he spent the entire afternoon sat at the window waiting for his friends to arrive Sad

I feel awful for him, but he doesn't seem to mind, he is happily playing with dh and his new scalectric set.

All the people we invited rsvped that they would come, but none of them are home (I have been over to their houses and knocked and spoken to best friends mum who says he is too tired to come Hmm)

I know it's silly and he is happy but I feel like my boy deserves better and I'm sad for him that his birthday party has gone to pot AGAIN.

To top it off exh (my dcs dad) hasn't so much as texted to wish him a happy birthday. He is supposed to take him out for the day without his sisters tomorrow and hasn't made any arrangements for this. Ds hasn't noticed (probably because exh is a knob and never bothers to call on their birthdays) but it's still just shit isn't it?

Aibu? I know that he doesn't care, but I feel sad on his behalf Confused

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 03/11/2014 10:15

You know some pretty thoughtless and inconsiderate people. I'm glad your son enjoyed his birthday anyway.

HappyAgainOneDay · 03/11/2014 10:52

I would not invite them again.

LadyLuck10 · 03/11/2014 10:57

Yanbu op. They are very thoughtless people. It's times like this when you truly find out how people view you.
At least your DS had a great day overall but I would not bother too much with them again.

juliascurr · 03/11/2014 11:05

no, yanbu
hope he has a good day anyway

PercyGherkin · 03/11/2014 11:11

What horrible rude people. I'm glad you made them feel ashamed of their behaviour. Glad he had a good day with people who do care about him.

Original poster
JamaicanMeCrazy · 03/11/2014 11:34

His dad has also kept all the presents to play with at his house. He goes there once a month if he's lucky. So ds basically had a day out to buy toys then went straight for a meal and was dropped home without actually getting to play with any of them Wine

OP posts:
Original poster
JamaicanMeCrazy · 03/11/2014 11:34

Confused Not Wine

OP posts:
FrenchJunebug · 03/11/2014 11:49

glad you told them off on their rude behaviour. And so happy your DS had a fab birthday.

ipswichwitch · 03/11/2014 11:50

I think after all that you need a Wine
What a useless shower of bastards. Surely the teens could have stayed home, especially since they live in the same street fgs, and how urgent was their shopping? Some people are just twats and think their whims are more important than anything or anyone else. I'm just glad that despite all the crappy behaviour from adults who allegedly know better, your DS had a lovely day. I may also be pinching the magic money idea for DS's birthday when his grandparents can't visit Wink

MissDuke · 03/11/2014 12:06

I have to ask, are you 100% sure that you didn't accidentally offend them the night before, when out with them? I have genuinely not encountered anyone do this, and I have three children (one with ASD), so we have done a lot of parties. Never mind 6 people doing it! Shocking!

I am glad your ds had a nice day regardless.

Thumbscrewswitch · 03/11/2014 12:09

Man, his dad's a fuckwit, isn't he?! What a loser-style thing to do to your DS! ShockAngry

I really hope that your DS wasn't upset by that particular example of sheer bastardy. :(

Thumbscrewswitch · 03/11/2014 12:12

Oops, missed the previous post where you saw the neighbours - more losers! Angry

Such pathetic excuses, really poor behaviour on their part. I'm just so glad that your DS appears not to have noticed. Wankers, the lot of them. Angry

Wine and Thanks for you, though, Jamaica

spiderlight · 03/11/2014 12:23

I've had tears in my eyes reaading this :( I would have been heartbroken. I'm glad you've spoken to them and told them what you think - thoughtless insensitive gits, the lot of 'em!

Tinkerball · 03/11/2014 12:29

Good for you telling some what you think! Of course you're upset for your DS but I would be pretty pissed off to at going to the effort of party foods etc and no-one bothering to let you know they weren't coming, even the excuses those two came up with - how did they think it was acceptable not even to text? Don't bothet with passive aggressive, this is an occasion that needs you to tell them straight they were rude.

Original poster
JamaicanMeCrazy · 03/11/2014 12:35

It was just those 2 neighbours, they have 3 kids each. I'm sure I didn't upset them, we were all having a good time trick or treating Confused

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 03/11/2014 12:41

I am so glad your ds had a good birthday. And I am so angry on your behalf. Your neighbours are beyond contempt. Please be far, far too busy to help out when they need it - you sound like a lovely person so I bet they see you as a soft touch.

BaffledSomeMore · 03/11/2014 12:54

Well done for facing them down.

We could have fun thinking up suitably crap 'excuses' as to why you can't possibly help them out. Something just the right side of possible but extremely unlikely. Like having to take the goldfish to the vets because he's gone flaky.

BauerTime · 03/11/2014 13:06

Christ what bastards. Did they even offer you an apology or an explanation or did you have to ask for one?

Imagine not even popping over to explain to your NEIGHBOUR on your way out to say you couldn't make it! I hope you have them a dressing down OP.

Next year have a massive party with bouncy castle, magician etc and make sure they all know about it/can hear it and have to watch over the garden fence.

The pricks.

Purplepoodle · 03/11/2014 13:06

Well done for facing them down. What they did was plain rude, seems to be a symptom in today's society. There's so many posts about people not turning up to birthday parties or bothering to RSVP (personal grudge of inviting whole class this year 30 kids, 15 showed up about 4 RSVP they couldn't come the rest didn't bother their ass)

nc987654321 · 03/11/2014 13:22

It sounds lovely at your house, OP :) Even though other people are crap :p

notagainffffffffs · 03/11/2014 13:35

What a load of nobheads!
So so so rude, I hope they are beyond mortified at what they have done. Shame on them.

hippo123 · 03/11/2014 14:09

That's awful. So glad your ds had a nice day anyway. Is there any chance your neighbours thought you had invited lots of people from school so they were just 'extras' that wouldn't be missed? Still rude even if they did think this to be honest.

Waltermittythesequel · 03/11/2014 14:56

I honestly want to smack the lot of them for you!

minklundy · 03/11/2014 20:08

I feel sorry for your neighbours kids missing out on a party because their parents are selfish knobends. My dcs would be really pissed off if they missed a party for me to go shopping.

Itsfab · 03/11/2014 20:17

Your exes dad sounds like my mother. My foster carers used to dress me in lovely clothes to visit her. She would send me back in tatty rags. I guess it looks good to people when they show off how many toys they have in the home for their son, how beautiful the clothes are they buy for their daughter..

Your son has a fuckwit for a father and useless adults around but he has a great mum and granddad.

CakeCake.