To be upset even though he isn't?

[JamaicanMeCrazy]

It's my son's 7th birthday today. He has Aspergers and doesn't deal well with lots of people so we planned a small party with a few close friends (6 children of neighbours that he plays with a lot and his best friend from school who he has known since he was a baby). Nobody has shown up

This isn't the first time this has happened, his 5th birthday we invited a few kids from school and he spent the entire afternoon sat at the window waiting for his friends to arrive

I feel awful for him, but he doesn't seem to mind, he is happily playing with dh and his new scalectric set.

All the people we invited rsvped that they would come, but none of them are home (I have been over to their houses and knocked and spoken to best friends mum who says he is too tired to come )

I know it's silly and he is happy but I feel like my boy deserves better and I'm sad for him that his birthday party has gone to pot AGAIN.

To top it off exh (my dcs dad) hasn't so much as texted to wish him a happy birthday. He is supposed to take him out for the day without his sisters tomorrow and hasn't made any arrangements for this. Ds hasn't noticed (probably because exh is a knob and never bothers to call on their birthdays) but it's still just shit isn't it?

Aibu? I know that he doesn't care, but I feel sad on his behalf

I keep reading this to see of there's been some sort of mix up with the days. I'm sorry but your neighbours are fucking cruel. Why say they are coming and then not bother. This gives me rage! I'm glad your DS has had fun playing with your DH.

The parents are twats. I hope they are suitably shamefaced when you do see them. But you and your family sound amazingly lovely so he is a very lucky boy in that respect. Glad he had a good day regardless. ????

He's just gone to bed with his star wars teddies I expect to see him around 4am, not a sleeper, bless him.

I'm definitely speaking to my neighbours. They better be very bloody apologetic, ds really didn't deserve that, and tbh neither did I. I put a lot of effort into the food and organised party games and crafts.

On the plus side we have a glut of cheese and bacon muffins and mini veg omelettes and enough sandwiches that I won't have to prepare packed lunches for a while my freezer is bursting!

My ds is 11, also has aspergers.
I found this really sad and think that the parents of the invited children need to be told how upset you are, even if you think ds isnt.
It's also disrespectful to you when you've went to all the effort/cost of food etc.
I hope your little man had a lovely birthday:)

Just saw your update. I'm glad your ds had a great birthday. I still can't believe (and I'm disgusted) that none of them showed up or at least apologised for not being there.

Has nobody contacted you even now??

I've read some shocking things on MN but this is beyond belief - what a totally shitty way to behave. I think you should tell the parents in question that you went to a lot of trouble and their behaviour was rude and potentially very upsetting. I would NEVER not turn up to something I'd rsvp'd without excusing myself unless there was a proper crisis or tragedy. Livid on your behalf, but what a lovely boy you have and your DH sounds wonderful too. Sounds like a happy birthday has been had without your horrible party guests.

Just to sayI'll be thinking of you on the school run tomorrow, OP.

Oh how horrible for you all. How bad mannered not to show up for a child's party unless of course there's a vaild reason but I fail to believe they've all coincidently had an emergency.
TBH this is why I've never hosted a party in case no-one turned up. I am a weirdo or does everyone have that fear.
Happy birthday to your d.s
Oh and it goes without saying but Y.A.D.N.B.U

OP I feel absolutely terrible still for your DS. This is absolutely one of those situations where if us MNers were close, and it wouldn't be totally weird to have a bunch of strangers descend on your house, then we'd come around and make it a party!!

You sound like an awesome family . My DS is a bit older with aspergers traits but no diagnosis yet.
I've had a similar problem in the past with kids not turning up or making last minute excuses and dropping out. It wrenches my heart and I'm dreading his next birthday party which is coming up soon, I can't look forward to Xmas until it's over!
Big hugs and rest assured you and your DS are better people than those who didn't show up.

Nope not heard from any of them

Except his dad who showed up at midday without warning and took him out for a meal and to the toyshop, y'know cos that makes his dickishness okay

I would take a plate of food up to each family. Saying I've lots of party food left over from today as you all said you would turn up and nobody did . You would hate it to go to waste ( I know you said you were using it for lunches but would love to prove a point!!!)

Oh what a bunch of meanie beanies! :( although it does sound like your lad had a fab day with those who love him

I suppose it's something that his arsehole father bothered to show up at all; but I'm still very angry on your behalf re. the party and the neighbours' children.
So bloody rude. How would they like it if it happened to their child, eh?

I would make much of your DS being disappointed, tbh - they're not going to care as much about your feelings as they might if you relate it to a child's disappointment (even though he appears not to have noticed).

I hope they all bloody apologise this morning, but I doubt they will.

How rude and hurtful. Extreme bad manners

Give it to them with both barrels this morning, op. Shame the bejasus out of them...

This is really sad- what a bunch of shits.
I 'm so glad he had a lovely birthday and you did really well to make the best out of a crap situation. I'm so angry on your behalf.

My son has Asd and has been excluded from a good few class parties. He's not great at a party (too much noise and too many people) but it's still heartbreaking when the whole class gets an invite and your wee guy is the only one sitting without one.

OP - Go out there head held high and confront the fuckers - and then come back here and tell us what happened!

Do not invite these rude feckers again. You do not need to waste valuable time on them. They can't all have forgotten? Kids certainly wouldn't. If they were ill (all of them??) then I am sure you could be phoned and told this. If they did not want their precious kids at the party they could have come up with an excuse.

Very poor (non) show.

I wouldn't 'confront them'. Don't be aggressive. Just wait ans see if they say anything. Be more disappointed than angry and surprised no one had bothered to phone you. Then you still have the moral highground!

One of them said they needed to go to town for shopping (wouldn't have minded if they'd just dropped the kids off and I pointed this out) and the other one said their older dcs (who weren't invited btw- teens from a previous relationship) didn't want to come so they all went to burger king

I told them exactly what I thought of that and they looked suitably ashamed of themselves but I won't bother my arse to do anything for them again. We often do school pickups/watch the younger ones for appointments etc but next time they ask I will be too busy doing literally anything else.

Ds said his dad took him to the toyshop to buy his own presents and spent nearly £100. I'm guessing he either forgot his birthday or didn't know what to buy him since he doesn't pay attention to the dcs lives. Last year on dd2s birthday he showed up with a totally unsuitable present for a small child and then asked me what the date was

The horribleness of some people never fails to astound me.