To be upset even though he isn't?

[JamaicanMeCrazy]

It's my son's 7th birthday today. He has Aspergers and doesn't deal well with lots of people so we planned a small party with a few close friends (6 children of neighbours that he plays with a lot and his best friend from school who he has known since he was a baby). Nobody has shown up

This isn't the first time this has happened, his 5th birthday we invited a few kids from school and he spent the entire afternoon sat at the window waiting for his friends to arrive

I feel awful for him, but he doesn't seem to mind, he is happily playing with dh and his new scalectric set.

All the people we invited rsvped that they would come, but none of them are home (I have been over to their houses and knocked and spoken to best friends mum who says he is too tired to come )

I know it's silly and he is happy but I feel like my boy deserves better and I'm sad for him that his birthday party has gone to pot AGAIN.

To top it off exh (my dcs dad) hasn't so much as texted to wish him a happy birthday. He is supposed to take him out for the day without his sisters tomorrow and hasn't made any arrangements for this. Ds hasn't noticed (probably because exh is a knob and never bothers to call on their birthdays) but it's still just shit isn't it?

Aibu? I know that he doesn't care, but I feel sad on his behalf

Glad your ds is having a nice day.
It's very difficult to slap on a smile and deal with grown adults who are so fucking rude when you know you have to maintain the 'friendship' for the sake of your dc even after such a shocking let down.
We had a few of those this summer and ASD dd was very upset. I'm distrustful of these parents now.

What a horrible thing to do, to just not turn up, without even a quick text or nipping across the street to let you know they couldn't come. Disgusted on your behalf op. What a shitty thing to do, especially when it concerns a child's birthday party. Happy birthday to ds, glad he has had a fun day despite this. I would let ds play with the children, but next time you see the parents, make it clear you're not happy with what they did, "alright?" "Oh yes thanks, DS just had a brilliant birthday, we'd invited a few kids he really likes round for a bit, some of the parents are unbearable, so selfish, but non of the inconsiderate idiots brought their kids anyway so it worked out for the best, goodness is that the time? I must go" -walk away and don't look back- I would be especially annoyed with the best friend who you've know since you were a teenager/ has know your ds since he was a baby! Don't think it would be unreasonable to really let rip at her.

YANBU and a big bunch at that. First, you definitely need better friends. Secondly, life can be really really shit.... But it can also get much much better. And when it does you will appreciate it like hell. Here's looking forward to that for you and DS. Stick in there and happy birthday to DS xxx

Sorry *best friends mum

This made me very sad and very angry too. Why on Earth did people say they'd be there and then not bother to turn up? No other words for them than bloody rude ignorant bastards.
My niece has Aspergers, and when she had her Birthday parties as a child her mum (my sis, a widow since the birth of her second baby) used to put on a lovely party for just a few special friends (My niece, like your ds, couldn't cope with too many at once) They lived in a small Scottish village, and all the invited folk always turned up and had a super time. My sis was careful to keep it 'short and sweet'. My niece had some difficult traits and mannerisms (she still does, she's 25 now) but everyone knew her well and she sailed through school with support from the staff.
It's good to know your ds is happy nonetheless today (Happy Birthday to him!) and that your dh is such a lovely man.
I wouldn't lower myself to say anything at all to that rude lot. Sod them.

I already let rip at his bf mum, but she at least was very apologetic about it. Her boy was refusing to get dressed as he was tired, she was actually trying to get here. I'm not really angry at her so much, I was at first but I've calmed down

It's my neighbours I'm really upset with, a knock on the door or a text would have been welcome

Not sure I could be so stoic and walk with them to school in the morning OP.

2 years in a row. Perhaps speak to them once the DCs have gone into school - face to face when the're all together. They should be ashamed.

What a bunch of utter fucking bastards.
I would not hold back tbh, fuck them, I would send a group text saying " hi everyone, if you RSVP to an invitation that you are coming it's pretty rude to just not turn up, so cheers for that as no one came to DS party."
Hope you are ok, I honestly don't know how anyone could behave like that. Glad your DS had a good birthday regardless of that bunch of horrors.

I think this is totally unacceptable.

If you are going to bale out of attending something, which isn't ideal behaviour in the first place if it's for spurious reasons, you should at the very least let the person in question know rather then leaving them waiting.

Your poor DS.

That is a horrible way to treat a child. Your poor ds.

Horrible people. Happy Birthday to him.

I've been there, I think there is nothing as painful as watching your children suffer.

All I can say is sorry We would have come! Remember that because at one point in the future when your son has friends, who do come to his parties, you will look back and remember this.

So so sorry.

Hang on, walking to school tomorrow? Sunday?

Is there any chance at all this is a horrible mix up?

Oh god I felt so sad reading your OP.

You poor thing.

Happy birthday to your ds. I hope you give them all what for. It's just not ok to treat people this way.

What a shit thing to do. I am glad your little boy is not too upset.

YANBU and they are all VVVVVu

Total wank badgers.
Big hug for you as this is probably more hurtful for you than anyone else.
Hooray for ds not being bothered
And hurray for your dh. He sounds like a lovely guy.

Maybe next year take ds out somewhere really fantastic for the day instead and tell all the neighbours how amazing it was over and over and over again afterwards

I really don't get some people.

I would ask "did you mean to be so rude"

What a shitty thing to do! I'm so sorry OP, but I wouldn't keep my mouth shut. A short sharp text telling them exactly what I thought and then nothing to do with them again would be my way forward. A very happy birthday to your DS, I'm glad he's had a lovely day x

What inconsiderate buggers! Could it be that the invitees are 'too tired' after Halloween and all the parents figured theirs would be the only one to not show? Not acceptable, of course, but possible?

Perhaps next year you should make a different plan for him? Have the party a few days later or earlier? Maybe arrange something for just one or two friends?

As long as he's not bothered, that's the main thing! I'd be vv upset as his mother, but would try vv hard not to let it show.

This is awful behaviour from all of them. How dare they. Sooooooo rude and thoughtless and and unkind.
Would they be happy if no one turned up to their DC parties.
It astonishes me that anyone could do this to a child.
I'm very glad that your boy has a good family and a good birthday.
I would be sending rude messages all round. It's just not on.

Aw poor wee boy. Happy birthday to him!

This has made me well up so sorry for you and your lovely DS what he lacks in nice friends he more than makes up for with loving family xxx

What awful people, how would they feel if that happened to their child! It happened to my brother one year and he was devastated.

What a load of skanks! I am really angry and appalled on your behalf! I really don't understand how anyone can think it is okay to behave like that. I hope that they feel suitably utterly shit when they find out no one turned up.
I am glad you have such a wonderful dh and your boy had a great time despite it all.

That is a terrible thing to happen. I feel so sorry for you and your DS. At least it is you who is hurting right now rather than him :( I would find it very hard to forgive the parents of those children who didn't turn up.

Can you go out somewhere special tomorrow?