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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate faffers everywhere!

317 replies

Freshlysqueezed · 30/10/2014 19:32

Why are there so many faffers -buying cinema tickets, going to the Post office etc - someone in front always has to have an issue and take twice as long as they should, drivers taking 10 minutes to get in a space 4 times the size of their car, people taking forever over a simple food order - I could go on!

OP posts:
BrianButterfield · 03/11/2014 22:09

I'm another one who hates inefficient coffee shops. If there's two people behind the counter you should have one taking orders and one making coffees. Not two people taking orders in turn and getting muddled with the till and getting in each other's way while the queue just gets longer.

I was impressed in a Starbucks with a long queue recently as one staff member went physically along the queue taking advance coffee orders so by the time you got to pay they were just coming out. It was so efficient!

Froggio · 03/11/2014 22:34

The majority of time I am anti-faffer and hate inefficiency especially watching other people get served whilst I'm in a queue. eg. at the swimming pool paying kiosk why can't the person in front of the person in front of me step aside to fill in their form for lessons for their child so that the person at the kiosk can deal with others in the meantime? I would step in but that would mean stepping in in front of the person in front of me and this would start to get very "Curb your enthusiasm."

But on the odd occasion I want to take my time and enjoy things eg a Xmas shopping experience I had last year when the woman in the queue behind me said "take your time" in a horribly sarcastic tone. I pretended to take her literally and smiled sweetly and said "Oh, thank you, I will" and proceeded to put my change away in my purse nice and neatly before moving away from the till.

DiscoMoo · 03/11/2014 23:31

I was reminded of this thread in a shop earlier when the person in front of me was asked if they want a bag. It's 5p a carrier bag here, so usually you have bags with you to put stuff in, or you don't (forgotten them or whatever). It's binary. Why then did it take her a full minute to decide that yes, she would need a bag to carry her 10 items home? And couldn't she have decided while she queued, knowing she would be asked?

ZingOfSeven · 04/11/2014 00:10

we have 7 kids. home is where the faffing is.

I don't hate them, obviously, but I loathe faffing and taking forever and having to repeat myself.
to indicate my frustration over my delightful children slooooooowlyyyy doooiiinng thiiinngs I have started employing the phrase "seriously, I have given birth faster than this!" (I did too!), followed by classic sighing & eye rolling.
my eye muscles are over excercised and I'm a pro at deep breathing.
Wink Grin

CrohnicallyAnxious · 04/11/2014 06:37

froggio I think you must go to the same pool I do! We turned up once with 15 minutes before the (half hour, timed) session started, to give us enough time to change DD without rushing. We were 2nd in the queue. After watching the counter staff watching someone fill in forms for 10 minutes we interrupted with 'excuse me, but can we pay for our swimming, only the session starts in 5 minutes'. Cue tutting from counter staff and a stampede as everyone behind followed suit (the queue by this point was out of the door)

Leela5 · 04/11/2014 07:11

Bar faffers are the worst. I used to work in a busy city cocktail bar. 5 people deep at bar on sat night.

Folk standing there waiting to be served, you finally get to them. Bear in mind there are drinks lists all down the bar to peruse whilst waiting:

Me: what can I get for you?
Faffer: um, a red wine please
Me: what type? We've got Tempranillo, Pinot noir, merlot...
Faffer: um...Pinot please
Me: large or small
Faffer: um...how big is large?
Me: 250ml
Faffer: I'll have large please
Me: here you go. Anything else?
Faffer: yes, a vodka and coke and what do you want?. Ok, a Cosmo please.
Me: anything else?
Faffer: hang on does kelly want anything? Can you ask her?

Faffer: another Cosmo please. And a large Pinot Grigio
Me: so sorry I'll be with you in a second - your usual?
is that everything?

albertcamus · 04/11/2014 07:12

Faffers should not be allowed access to tea bags in public contexts. Faffer + teabag + hot water + milk + sugar + wooden stirrer + napkin + cup lid = unlimitited excuse to faff around while holding up the black coffee queue. It's the waving of hands as if they're both wet when the cup is finally made that usually knocks my hard-won coffee out of my hands. Faffers should drink instant white tea powder tea.

Leela5 · 04/11/2014 07:14

Just realised the brackets and stuff in brackets doesn't show on app. Stupid app. My story makes sense on desktop site!

Leela5 · 04/11/2014 07:16

I'll try again!

Bar faffers are the worst. I used to work in a busy city cocktail bar. 5 people deep at bar on sat night.

Folk standing there waiting to be served, you finally get to them. Bear in mind there are drinks lists all down the bar to peruse whilst waiting:

Me: what can I get for you?
Faffer: um, a red wine please
Me: what type? We've got Tempranillo, Pinot noir, merlot...
Faffer: um...Pinot please
Me: large or small
Faffer: um...how big is large?
Me: 250ml
Faffer: I'll have large please
Me: here you go. Anything else?
Faffer: yes, a vodka and coke and (turns round to friend) what do you want?. Ok, a Cosmo please.
Me: (starts making Cosmo) anything else?
Faffer: hang on (turns to friend) does kelly want anything? Can you ask her?
(meanwhile I've made Cosmo and vodka, put in till and I'm standing waiting, lots of angry eyes on me from people around)
Faffer: another Cosmo please. And a large Pinot Grigio
Me: (starts to make another Cosmo, apologising to one of my regulars standing next to her her) so sorry I'll be with you in a second - your usual?
(puts Cosmo and wine down) is that everything? (Starts pouring pint for regular whilst simultaneously punching order into till - coz I'm good like that, see?)
Faffer: oh and a Guinness for my boyfriend

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

Know. What you want. When you get served!

KitCat26 · 04/11/2014 10:20

Petrol station faffers who park badly so no one can get around to the pump in front, get fuel, unload three children, go into the shop, spend 10 minutes in said shop allowing children to choose sweets, drinks, crisps etc, etc, finally pay, load everyone back into the car and drive off. Leaving a cue of six cars stretched back onto the road and lots of practically imploding drivers.

Inefficient cafes with no large price list so everyone has to make their minds up at the till. Grrr.

BrendaBlackhead · 04/11/2014 10:49

Those I really hate are the aware faffers.

These faff BUT they know they are doing it. And from my observations they are always couples in their 70s. Examples are the couples at petrol station: man fills up, then walks round to passenger window, where wife slowly and deliberately hands him loyalty card and payment card from handbag, he goes off to pay, comes back, returns cards, gets in car, then... and on one particular occasion I swear I nearly committed violent murder - they ate some sandwiches whilst still at the pump! I've still got 200/200 blood pressure over that one. And at the supermarket tills - husband unloads trolley, packs bags etc, and only when the last bag is in the trolley does wife undo handbag and again pass cards to husband to complete transaction. Thank the good Lord that checks are now no longer accepted. I used to cry with pent-up rage when the check book used to come out and then a special pen produced from inside pocket of sports jacket, all at the speed of a super tanker.

And, as I said at the outset, I think they know they are pissing people off and are proud of it.

BrendaBlackhead · 04/11/2014 10:50

Sorry, am I American? Cheque I meant, not check.

angelos02 · 04/11/2014 11:26

they ate some sandwiches whilst still at the pump

I would be apoplectic! You would definitely be justified in leaning on the horn until they shifted.

I was once in a post office shortly before Christmas, the queue was out of the door and someone was filling out a long form actually AT the kiosk. They looked surprised when it was pointed out to them that they should move to the table at the back of the shop to finish it. Idiot.

BrendaBlackhead · 04/11/2014 11:39

Oh, yes, the post office... I'm feeling anxious just thinking about it.

And the train station. Last time I went to London there was a long queue at the sole ticket window just before the first available off peak train. To the queuers' horror the person at the head of the line started asking about various routes and prices to Manchester, and writing down the options. And this was to go in the next few months !!

I swear there are people who go through life thinking up ways to piss off their fellow human beings.

ZingOfSeven · 04/11/2014 12:36

Brenda

nooooooooooooooooooooo! bloody hell!
and they wouldn't have gotten away with it if it had been me. I'm not English so I don't have to be polite. there would have been strong words

FelixFelix · 04/11/2014 13:01

My DP is a massive faffer and it's making me angry just thinking about it now. If we are due to go somewhere, I will repeatedly drill in to his head what time we have to leave but he always finds a job to do before we go, which could have been done hours or even days before in preperation for the leaving time.

We recently had a holiday in the Lake District booked. I had my driving test in the morning so the day before I got everything ready so we could leave straight after I'd taken the test. Get back from the test to pick up bags and DP decides the sat nav is broken and he needs to replace the whole fucking screen (with a kit he bought weeks ago, may I add) before we leave. 'It will only take 10 minutes' he says, so I load the car up and strap dd in to her car seat, and sit and wait in the passenger seat. In the end it took so long that I removed dd, made us all food twice, dd had two naps and we left 8 HOURS LATER. Rage x 1000000.

Others include: due at an event for my Mums 50th birthday and he decided he needed to wash and dry (without a tumble dryer) a shirt he wanted to wear 30 minutes before we were meant to leave the house. Or the time we were going away for the weekend with my family and I was ready to go, and he decided the chicken in the fridge would go off when we were away so he needed to cook it and take it with us to eat so it didn't get wasted. He didn't even eat it Hmm

We are moving house in two weeks and trying to get him to do any sorting/packing is tipping me over the edge. It takes him 10 times longer to do any task I need him to do. I sorted through all of my clothes and filled two bags for the charity shop within half an hour, and the same thing for him took a whole evening, even though he has half the clothes I do.

I just don't understand. I need a lie down now Confused

Notbythehaironmychinnychinchin · 04/11/2014 13:12

Brenda thattrain ticket office incident has made me twitch thinking of it.

Felix - I don't understand either [puzzled and slightly sad face]. I just don't get WHY people don't make better use of their time and why all of that wasted time/energy doesn't bother them. Why wouldn't you put the kettle on, then wash the dishes, then make the cup of tea rather than wash the dishes, then boil the kettle, then stand around waiting and THEN make the cup of tea (Looking at you DH, MIL, person in work).

FelixFelix · 04/11/2014 13:17

It's funny as I was thinking about that earlier in the kitchen. I flicked the kettle on to make some cous cous, then filled the washing up bowl as the kettle was boiling, and put away some pots when the bowl was filling. Then added the water to the cous cous bowl and washed the pots as it was standing, then ate the cous cous afterwards. Took about 7 minutes in all. I actually thought to myself as I was doing it 'this would take DP at least half an hour to do as he would stand and wait for each thing to finish before starting the next.'

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? Grin

HaveToWearHeels · 04/11/2014 14:57

Brenda and all these "aware faffers" are usually doing it bewteen 12-2 exactly at which time other non faffers are trying to buy lunch/coffee/bits for dinner/visit the post office etc. "Aware faffers" normally have all day to faff !

ZingOfSeven · 04/11/2014 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaveToWearHeels · 04/11/2014 15:39

Is that faffing or that vanity !??!!
I would have just worn a hat !

VenusRising · 04/11/2014 15:42

I think I've just realised I'm not a faffer!

Christ on a bendy bus, (love that poster btw) I'm just a bit wobbly on escalators, but always stand to the side if I find Ive 'refused' to jump.
I find my coping strategy is to tailgate some large person so I can't see the bottom and I probably come across as a right weirdo jammed up against someone ahead, breathing heavily and huffing with vertigo, eyes rolling and sweaty, gripping on like I'm on a rollercoaster, or in a rodeo.
Going up is better, but it's because I can look at someone's knees / bag in front and block out the rushing into space feeling easier as I'm going up.

I love aldi as I know exactly which order to shop in even, to get my groceries in the correct order to pack them. I can pack them at the tills no problem, while their being rung through, and I have my card to hand to pay when it's all been bipped. I can then just walk out.

The only thing I'd say about bus travel is that, as someone who takes different busses to different places from different stops I don't know how much the fare is going to be. I have a little coin purse in my pocket though and I rootle away happily for the fare charged. I stand well in to the side so those with their beepy cards can board, but I have been known to take forever as I wear gloves due to a nickel allergy.

I make decisions really quickly, and am happier having made them..

Some people don't like to make decisions, and have poor pattern recognition so seem to blink like new born babes whenever they go anywhere, and look like they need to reinvent the wheel if they go somewhere new. My mum is a case in point- when shopping as she has to ask 100questions, humms and haws, and always seems to bring everything back anyway. She hates making decisions.

Awareness of the passage of time is another factor I think. For that reason I have my phone go off for everything I have on that day, 30 mins in advance sometimes, so I get myself organised, and everything works smoothly.

Some people don't know how long things take and don't seem to know that event scan occupy concurrently, so timing of toast and tea is about the same so bread can go in at the same time as the kettle goes on. Then you have about three mins to do something else like sort out the cups, plates implements butter etc. and viola!

If I'm tired and sleep deprived I really rely on my calander / alarm system as I've no memory of what I need to do unless it's written down, and beeping insistently.

I think it's very important to instill good habits in children, and time awareness, multi tasking, putting things back into their proper places and being considerate of others are four very worthwhile ones I think.

Also the ability to imagine what might happen at X event, for eg 'going on the train to Y place', will enable children to forsee what they might need to have to hand at the ready in order that they can make the trip efficiently.

VenusRising · 04/11/2014 15:42

Sorry about the essay!

secretsquirrels · 04/11/2014 15:49

Zing
"seriously, I have given birth faster than this!"

You WIN Grin I will be using that one.

ZingOfSeven · 04/11/2014 15:59

secret

Grin

you are welcome.
DS3 was born very fast.
dilated from 5 cms to full in 5 mins, and with 3 pushes he shot out.

5cms to being born - 10 mins.
DS2 getting dressed - up to 40 mins.
I do win!Grin

not sure what the prize is though. strong eye muscles I suppose!Wink