To hate faffers everywhere!

[Freshlysqueezed]

Why are there so many faffers -buying cinema tickets, going to the Post office etc - someone in front always has to have an issue and take twice as long as they should, drivers taking 10 minutes to get in a space 4 times the size of their car, people taking forever over a simple food order - I could go on!

MsQuoted same with my DH. I understand "I have a handbag" and he doesn't so I bought him a lovely wooden box that is sat on our hall table, it is just big enough for phone/wallet/keys/glasses ! When I find these items littered around the house I put them in said box !

Malcolm Tucker motivational poster anyone?

I might get that as a tattoo HouseAtreides

Sparky & stereo we aren't talking about hurrying we are talking about people just being organised and aware there are other people in the world.
I don't mind slow driving, I don't mind crawling through a car park looking for a space, I do however object to someone unable to decide which of the 15 spaces to go in, PICK ONE AND PARK it is a simple concept !

A!!! then I misunderstood this fuffing thingy lol
tbh, it is not a word I came across before I think :P
I am extremely organized...more then I should be really...ariba ariba...well...I just like to take my time...do not like people leaning over me on cash machines, tills...driving like maniacs, "kissing" mE car in the process...it is kinda boring...especially because they believe it might intimidate me and make me be faster...it can only make them look like right prats really and make them stress more...I will still be as slow as I want and calm as spa

aaaargh lol
failed bold AGAIN :)

I call it being a "fart in a bottle"

stereo it's more like not being able to make your mind up about stuff, not being prepared for the obvious (like angelos02 says about the bus), not organising yourself to be prepared.

dictionary says "spend time in ineffectual activity" :)

then I am not a blooming fuffer lolllllllll

"silently divorcing him in my head" had me chuckling.

This overlaps with the lateness issue. DH is a faffy latey, but he has zero tolerance for anyone else's faffing

Once (and only once) he whinged at me that "we" never leave for DC football on time, 9.25. Later, out of DC earshot, I pointed out that at 9.15 I was at the kitchen table with shoes on, finishing breakfast with all three DC, having got them dressed and found all the requisite boots, shin pads, water bottles and subs.

He had come downstairs at 9, and wanted to have coffee and toast, upstairs to do hair and teeth, then come back downstairs to put his she and coat on, by which ts loading said children into the car.

If I phad pointed this ouy t t at the time, that would have been "nagging".

Give. Me. Strength.

As a young student I worked in a busy city bar. The customers would have to wait a while and would always try and get your attention by saying, "I'm next!" What always amazed me was that as soon as they got my attention they would turn round to their mates and say, "What do you want?" Couldn't they have asked their mates that whilst they were waiting? And then, as soon as you had made their drinks, it would take them another few minutes to collect the cash from their friends and pay! It used to drive me mad! If everyone faffed less, then people would get served much quicker!

eg in a coffee shop they won't just choose a cake they know they might like. No. They have to make sure it is the best cake decision they ever make. Now it is unlikely to be the last cake they ever eat, they can choose a different one another time but they see every decision as so crucuial that they are sort of paralysed by it.

Great analogy tiggy this is DH, but what usually happens is he takes so long deciding he ties himself in knots and ends up ordering something he doesn't actually enjoy. I quite often here "I like X but I had that last time, so I will give Y a try !". By the time he orders he goes for Z and ends up not liking it !

love this tiggy
So guess what - I throw them away. All those little cards and booklets that describe every chocolate in detail and send ditherers into fits of indecision

I worked in bars and pubs in my uni student days.

Customers - old men choosing which bitter to drink:

Looks at all the ales. Walks down the bar again checking they haven't missed any. Peer at all the handle clips to read the alcohol content. Then ask about the alcohol contents. Ask for a sample. And another, and another. Have a chat with fellow old man about nice beers they've had in the past. Have another sample.

Then choose John Smiths, the cheapest grottiest drink in the world.

Another is people doing rounds for their friends - come inside from the hot sunny garden on a busy as hell August Bank Holiday Monday, order ten J20's or whatever, and when you ask 'would you like ice with these?' they say they don't know, duck away and run into the garden to ask! I mean, come on, just make the fucking decision on their behalves can't you?!

My husband is a Faffer...the type who takes ages before going anywhere..he's called the king of Faffgasnitan !

we're random faffers...

dh takes for ever to get out with the dogs. gathering his walking boots, coat, scarf, going for a pee, shouting "where are the dog leads??" wherever you left them probably Dogs are epically (is that even a word?) excited and racing about the house totally hyped, he is trying to sit in a kitchen chair to do his shoes up with two frothing dogs, it is ever thus.

alternatively if we are off shopping or anywhere in the car, I turn around and he is gone. Nowhere to be seen. Peering out the window I see him revving the arse off the car....and i have to dash about collecting lists, bags, and whathaveyou.

I will admit to being a toilet faffer, but I CANNOT pee with a coat on. Am not that good even with a jacket on...i usually hang bag on door, hang coat on, commence toilet seat inspection....i am not putting my arse on a predampened seat for anyone. And then it all has to be put back on. So sorry to you queuers crossing your legs.

I am not a shop/escalator/cashpoint/ticket faffer though.

I agree with Tiggy: rushing is not the opposite of faffing (no matter how much the self-confessed faffers wish that were the case). It's much more about being disorganised or not caring about all the other people around you. I particularly loathe the social variety of faffer who gets annoyed about other faffers making them wait, so they take twice as long as they might otherwise have done (which, let's face it, is much longer than they should have anyway) when it comes to their turn (my sister does this). They should be taken out an shot.

I don't agree it's some form of SN either. DS1 is dyspraxic (so genuinely has motor planning and coordination difficulties), but there is a clear difference between when he's just struggling and when he's faffing (and daydreaming). I support one, but do not tolerate the other. He might need a list of instructions broken down, but there is no excuse for taking 10 minutes to brush his hair or standing about in the hallway not putting his shoes on while we're getting ready to go out. He manages to be reasonably efficient getting himself ready for school and out the house in the morning, but at the weekend he tries to turn into a hopeless faffer like DH.

To all you indignant faffers:

I am not the rude arse sighing, moaning or tooting behind you. Unlike some, I have manners.

Whilst you dither and time waste, I am thinking ahead to what I'm going to do next, be it buy my paper as quickly as possible, determine the most succinct way of ordering my drinks to avoid confusion, or overtake you at the next opportunity without you noticing until it's too late for you to put your hoof down to try and stop me (why do slow drivers do that?).

I find that those people who need extra time (doddery old ladies who can't handle their change too easily, for example) are often the most apologetic about the delay. Because they don't live in their own little selfish bubble. Treating such people with impatience is churlish and unacceptable.

It is also highly inefficient, as impatience only makes things worse. I have found such encounters to be the perfect opportunity to show some consideration, and offer to help, or at the least, smile and make some remark about there being no need to panic, I'm happy to wait for them.

Because I was brought up to think about other people, y'see?

Special variety. Not social variety. They are the most anti-social of faffers.

DH faffs about putting the recycling out.

The recycling box is full now. On Saturday I moved it to a spot in the kitchen where it is in the way and very visible. Yes it would take me moments to put my shoes on and empty it myself but it's not my job, it is the only job that DH has.
Shall we run a book on how much longer it will be there?

DH is not usually a faffeur. His speciality however is the airport, it's like there's a gear lever on his head that makes him useless in the presence of air travel, from considering what to pack to getting a cab to the hotel.

We usually travel to the gate separately

catsmamma please tell me you at least take your coat off in the queue and put it back on after exiting the cubicle? Thus ensuring minimal cubicle time?

I am sometimes accused of being a toilet faffer, but it genuinely takes me 15-20 minutes to poo on occasion (Crohn's). DH thinks I'm mumsnetting in there but I'm not- as evidenced by the time on holiday when we had no internet and I still took just as long. Unlike DH who was magically able to poo in 3 minutes not 30!

if there was a long queue i might take my coat off first.....but generally not.

plus mostly toilet cubicles are too difficult to negotiate round the door if you are carrying anything, even the smallest handbag so you often have to get in there and then remove outerwear once the door is shut

This is a great thread! I've found my people. I think you can cure faffing, you need to nip it in the bud early. I met DH at age 20, and he is a militant anti-faffer (almost to the other extreme, he meddles which causes its own problems "oh you're looking for your work pass that you left in your car? Your car was a mess so I cleaned it out and chucked everything in the bin" ) - anyway at 20 I think I could have gone either way but his anti faffiness cured me. Now I think I am a more efficient anti-faffer than him (his carpet bombing approach is not efficient)

I think a quality all faffers have in common is lateness and indecisiveness. My mum will never buy an item of clothing without hemming and hawing over it getting 5 opinions from people in the shop, badgering the assiatnt about whether she can take it back, then trying it home and getting everyone's opinion before eventually deciding to return it. (As a result I never take more than 5 minutes to decide on anything.) My dad is incapable of being on time - we often have him over to watch an early morning sports game as they don't have Sky - all he has to do is get up and drive over her in time for kick off. He has never once been on time. Then he comes in bearing breakfast food etc and faffs about making it. The game is live. That's the effing point. No one wants the food. We want to watch the game. Gaaahhhh!!

A related quality is mulling over things. My MIL is not a faffer but loves to discuss things in minute detail in advance (the "in advance" thing is what precludes her from being a faffer but it's a close call). A conversation that would normally take up about 30 seconds can stretch to 30 minutes. DH enables her: they once spent - I shit you not - 30 minutes talking about the best way to get from Heathrow to SIL's house in Wandsworth. Every possible combination of transport options was canvassed ("well you could get a mini cab from he airport. Or you could get the Heathrow Express to Paddington and then a cab. Or you could get the PIcaddily line to King's X and then change to the Victoria down to Vauxhaul. Or you coud get the Heathrow Express to Paddington and then get on the tube...") On and on and on... I feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it.

Ahhhhhhhh this is cathartic!!