To hate faffers everywhere!

[Freshlysqueezed]

Why are there so many faffers -buying cinema tickets, going to the Post office etc - someone in front always has to have an issue and take twice as long as they should, drivers taking 10 minutes to get in a space 4 times the size of their car, people taking forever over a simple food order - I could go on!

Gennz that is crap and illustrates a common quality of the true dyed-in-the-wool faffer - inability to notice others and realise that they are causing a hold-up.

As a faff-hater, if I know I'm going to cause a delay (because my 4yo is being awkward or I'm going to get vouchers out for example) I would so let the 8 month pg woman behind me (or person with one item at the supermarket, or person with screaming baby) go first and that's what these two should have done. (Not because I'm lovely and philanthropic, more because it's more efficient :o) But faffers get very caught up in the unimportant details of their faff.

I'm in a bit of a bad mood because DP has made DS late for school this morning with his faffing :(

As an aside I hope you weren't at the City Art Gallery cafe in Edinburgh which has the faffiest staff I've ever witnessed. 10 minutes to make a cappuccino and I'm not exaggerating, every single step was accompanied by wondering where the thing was that she had just put down, being maximally inefficient (why get a cup and saucer together when you could walk across the room to get the cup, come back, then walk back across the room to get the saucer... and here's a thought, why not keep them next to the coffee machine in the first place?) and generally behaving as if she had never seen a coffee machine in her life. OK if it's your first day, but they're like that every time!

(Actually I feel bad about saying that now as they may have improved, so I don't want to put people off going.)

Captain a local cafe near me has shut down and I just thought "yeah, surprised it took so long". I was in there once and ordered a sandwich and cup of tea. There were 4 members of staff and 8 customers including me. 40 minutes. I could see what was going on behind the counter. I had to restrain myself from jumping over and saying "THERE! There's the butter. The bread knife is THERE!".

Next time I went in I only had 45 mins so thought I'd just get a cup of tea and a cake. Didn't reckon on them having to mess about with cocoa powder dust and "coulis" and somehow this took 15 minutes. JUST GIVE ME A SLICE OF THAT PRE-CUT CAKE IN FRONT OF YOU".

Oh! I have found my spiritual home here. I hate faffing. It gives me the rage!

I knew I had passed on my hatred of faffness to my dd when, aged about four, I heard her use my favourite declamation for drivers who take too long getting out of a junction "what are you waiting for? A gilt edged invitation?"

I have just been to Aldi. i love it. It's the least likely place to find faffers which is one of the reasons why I shop there!

An acquaintance once told me ( she is a huge faffer] that she only went to Aldi once, and was traumatised by the experience because of the packing situation at the till. I tried desperately not to laugh when she was telling me this, as could just picture her face when she realised that she would have to keep pace and not dawdle and have a little chat to the till person.

She has gone back to shopping in Sainsburys.. Thanks goodness for small mercies
Bit I have also passed my intolerance of faffers on to my DD. I swear her tolerance is even less than mine

I am loving this thread, there a whole new dictionary being created here. We have:

Faff-tastic
Faffing
Faffer
Faff
Faffed
Faff-hater
Faffness

Geenz - your 'faff-tastic f*uckwit' is funny. I almost burst out laughing reading your post (I felt your rage)

Do people think you can cure a faffer? If you have a faffer if your own (one with no reasonable excuses for their faffing), can they be trained out of it? Maybe there is a Programme of some sort....

I'm actually reading this thread with clenched teeth.

DP and MIL could faff for Great Britain in the faffing Olympics and win gold.

I've just spent a week on holiday with both of them and the faffing. Omg.

I actually found myself having a five minute conversation (which is five minutes too long IMO) about which suitcase to pack the free hotel toiletries.

I wanted to throw myself down the stairs just to make it stop.

Do you think faffing is sort of like dyslexia- not being aware of patterns and time? Not registering that you'll need your money out and ready to pay at the till? Not being organised when packing groceries so that all heavy cold items go together and light crushable items go on top for eg.

I think it's a form of dyslexia, and subconscious avoidance (hence the vacuuming before you have to go anywhere- they don't actually want to go).

Standing 'in the way' could be spacial unawareness, like being unable to parallel park..

My mum for eg is totally unable to parallel park, is a world class faffer who thinks she's efficient, but couldn't see a pattern in the scheme of things if it bit her.
But, she always complains about her sister, who not only leads the field in faffing, seems also unable to walk in a straight line, and always ends up wibbling about pushing up against you. She's a bit like the chinless wonder champion in the Monty Python race sketch.

My mum isn't a faffer compared to her sister, but is compared to me.
Maybe it's all relative? Or just all my relatives

DP is a faffer. The children and I will be ready and waiting by the door or in the car and he will decide he must go for another wee or change his jumper/t-shirt/shoes/jeans. I'm want to scream JUST GET IN THE DAMN CAR/OUT THE FRONT DOOR!! I'm the complete opposite. I hate being late and I have to be organised or I can't relax. The incessent faffing makes it worse.

I think faffers need a course or something to realise how the faffing affects other people. How can faffers in queues not be aware of of people behind them? How can faffers justify making everyone around them stabby just because they must do something unimportant at the very last second?

I'm just hoping that the children don't take on DP's faffing habit. I'll have to train them or simply disown them all .

MsQuoted Mon 03-Nov-14 11:05:31
I'm actually reading this thread with clenched teeth

Me too!

Celticlass2 that is exactly why I love Aldi and DH hates it !

I now feel like I am at an AA meeting, this is my confession (hangs head in shame)
"Hello, my name is Heels, and I married a Faffer !"

It is causing so many rows it is untrue, his list of faffs this weekend.

Faffing over what parking space, just pick a fucking space and get in it. He actually hesitates at each empty one which is particularly annoying, he has on previous occasions been tooted for his faffing but is oblivious !

Handed a menu in a restaurant we frequent, so know the menu pretty well, DD and I have decided already what to have so place menu's on table. 5 minutes later waitress asks if we are ready to order (DH has been reading menu for 5 minutes) he orders his starter, then rubs chin STILL trying to decide on main, finally decides on main and then changes mind on starter grrrrrrr !

Yesterday went out for the day, no food in the house, said to DH in the car on the way home, do you want to nip into Sainsbury's on the way home or get a takeaway, his reply "ummmmm let me think about that, I will come back to you"

He is the only man I know who will put clothes on in the morning, while I am in the bedroom, I can go downstairs and he comes down in something completely different.

DH is really bad.
The dog and I despair when he says he want to come for a walk with us.

He's a master faffer. Takes him ages to get ready.

I am a faffer :) so is my partner...and my daughter lol
We are extremely organised faffers...we just take our time and oops, sometimes your time

OH and he Faffs with his glasses every time we get in the car, patting down pockets, looking in armrest, glovebox etc. Same with parking tickets, pays for them then puts in a pocket, when we get to the barrier, more pocket packing, rummaging in car. Why can't he just hold it in his hand/mouth like I do. After all he has nothing else to carry, I have DD, handbag, shopping and I still manage not to loose it !

Venus DH's faffing is definitely tied up with his lack of time management skills and complete inability to prioritise.

Friday, we had family coming over for Halloween. I was prepapring party food, tidying house, putting up decorations, nagging the kids to do homework, getting the kids into their costumes, face painting...

DH brought a tin of gloss in from the shed (obviously had to take everything out of the shed and faf with that) then come in and touch up the paint on the bannister. Of the staircase that would be in use by more people than normal for the rest of the day.

"what are you doing that for now?"
"so it looks better"
"right ok, why NOW?"
"Erm..."
"do you think there might be things we HAVE to do now rather than things which might be nice to do now?"
"Erm..."

STDG DH is booked onto a time management course in work...we'll see if it helps Funnily enough he is always stressed about having too much work to do. I ask him whether everyone else is as stressed or has the same amount of work to do. He is vague.

So: I hesitate to try and find a parking space - and I have some impatient jerk beeping to get by.

I don't drive over speed limits - again this seems to infuriate people as I am IN THEIR WAY. Obviously their way and their level of speed is more important than mine.

I pay for my shopping at the supermarket and I have people standing so close to me they can probably read my PIN number. They erroneously believe that standing on top of me will make the process faster (it doesn't).

I am not perfect, and sometimes I'm impatient too but generally I long for a slower life, actually, and find all the rushing uncomfortable.

Sparky totally agree ;)
I don't like chaos and will not allow anyone to cause it for me...so dear rushers, be patient...if you can't be free to stress :)

Note to fellow bus users - you do have to pay you know so here's a crazy idea - rather than dicking about on your mobile, get the correct money ready, pop it in your pocket, when you see bus approaching, retrieve said money, hand it over to driver and sit down.

Sparky & stereo we aren't talking about hurrying we are talking about people just being organised and aware there are other people in the world.
I don't mind slow driving, I don't mind crawling through a car park looking for a space, I do however object to someone unable to decide which of the 15 spaces to go in, PICK ONE AND PARK it is a simple concept !

Ah but you misunderstand me Sparky - as an efficient and anal person, it's not that I want to rush around like a headless chicken and do everything as fast as possible, it's that I want to do things efficiently and the most sensible way. I actually stick to the speed limit too, hate tailgaters and would never bully or rush anyone else on the road. In fact I think of the tailgater as another kind of inefficient person - they are rushing and causing danger because of a pointless need to get in front, when the lights up ahead are going to stop them anyway. Tailgaters are probably faffers who didn't set off on time and then panic.

In my perfect world I would never be late or rushed or stressed. The anti-faffer does not need these things because they plan ahead and therefore can stay perfectly calm (as someone said, ready 10 minutes early with bag of snacks and first aid kit - that's me too).

It only goes wrong for me when a fafftastic faffer slows me down!

Ha; I had a cashier making small talk when she noticed a logo on my clothing as I was paying. Now I can chat on this subject all day quite happily and wasn't in a rush so would have loved to continue the chat but the people after me in the queue were obviously straining at the leash so I had to cut it short. Shame.

And yes like heels says it is not other people's slowness per se that slows me down - there are times when it's important to go slowly. It's the pointless, inefficient fussing and failure to make decisions and mind-changing and disorganisation that is frustrating. It's frustrating because it's so unnecessary.

For example every morning DP barrels around the house in a state of panic looking for his shoes/other stuff he needs and then getting upset because he's late. He could solve this by PUTTING HIS SHOES IN THE SAME PLACE EVERY TIME WHEN HE TAKES THEM OFF, that place being the SHOE AREA in the hall where everyone else manages to put theirs, even the 4yo! It's not rocket science. But oh no, we can't actually do something sensible to make life easier, out of the question. We must make life difficult for ourselves, then faff about it, then panic because we're late, then never learn from it - day. after. day. That's what's frustrating - not slowness.

He could solve this by PUTTING HIS SHOES IN THE SAME PLACE EVERY TIME WHEN HE TAKES THEM OFF, that place being the SHOE AREA

Omg this x 10,000,000,000

One of the ways I stay organised is by keeping essential/important things in the same place.

DP is constantly asking me where his wallet/keys/phone/charger is.

I always know where my wallet/keys/phone/charger is. I don't understand how he doesn't.

I used to hate faffers, ..I've just turned 49 and I'm noticing I faff ....