To do something a bit evil to my stupid stupid DH...

[NameChangeAnon]

Having just found flirting emails with a woman in which morning sex etc is discussed. He's doing it from his phone NOW. The laptop I'm using was going to be his but is now mine. It has his outlook loaded though and the messages pop up in a corner.

So this popped up a minute ago:

From DH

Fun sounds good......
Looking forward to giving you a hug...
And you kissing me back.....

The conversation previously started with a selfy of a woman wearing a quite nice going out dress and talk of the time in the morning the message was sent.

DH replied

You will have to think of some methods of waking me up early too then ....;) x

The woman replied

Oh I have my ways ?? don't you just love morning sex !! Xx

DH replied

You will just have to remind me.....
I can't remember the last time I had morning sex:(

The woman replied

This could possibly turn out to be a lot of fun xx

before DH sent the message that popped up

I don't think he's cheated on me. I think he's a prat. I'm sitting here eating a biscuit that DD2 (4) brought for me and drinking tea planning my next move.

Obviously I'm going to shout at him AT LENGTH at some point.

So do I do any of the following - I am a bitchy cow brazen enough to do this.

a) reply to the message chain with. Errr. Hi I'm NCA and my DH is a prat who forgets I have his laptop with his email loaded.

b) Send a friend request to her on FB. After all we have the same taste in men and friendships are based on less.

c) Reply to the text he's just sent me thanking him for taking time out of his day to converse with me rather than just

d) anything else you can recommend bearing in mind all I can find is this convo.

BTW I know that our current lack of intimacy is an issue with him. I am not all that interested in having sex and this has been the case for a few years. We have young DDS and no time to ourselves plus he works away on a regular basis (really works away rather than anything else. He would be able to sneak the odd night away if he wanted but I have his rota and his departure and arrivals home are in keeping with his hours).

So WIBU to reply to them both?

OP feel your anger, calm,pain, shock numbness , ie the whole gamut of conflicting emotions because sadly I have the Tshirt. But you are handling it terrific so far.. Completely cheering you on and hope you shock the fucking life out of him.

Id send him to his parents and forward them the emails. Wankbadger.

op think very carefully about what actions you take now as they will set the standard for the rest if your life with him.

BIL cheated on SIL every year they were married. He was that stupid she found out most of them. I'm sure there are more she didn't know about.

He sent her a letter once on A4 piece of paper, it was a few lines of how are you ? How's the kids? It was a few shitty lines. The rest of the paper however had indentations all the way to the bottom. So SIL got a pencil and traced over it and was able to read it. It was to another woman askng for the pics in her underwear he likes.

He still got a heroes welcome of his family because he was back safe and well while SIL had to take yet again another slap in the face 'for the same if the kids'.

Choose what life you want and what is acceptable for your kds to see. Because sils kids seen her cry plenty because of BIL.

I'm actually allhallowspeeve I NC as I've just posted about Xmas with my just divorced BIL and did t want mil to spot me - name change fail!!

Hope youre okay nca

He just called. He's at tesco (petrol filling). I asked him for toilet roll and bread. He asked what was for dinner and I said he needn't worry as he'd be packing to go to his mother's. 'Oh and don't forget the condoms for if you are meeting '

There. Done.

You're awesome. Really awesome.

Oh NCA! You are too cool. I'd have tried to do that but ended it with a big Sob. Well done.x

Oh my god op, what did he say after you said that?

I hope your ok OP as well. Ive been there too and have the t-shirt as well.
Be strong for your dds. I lnow you will make the decision that is best for you and your children. He should be home soon, so sending you massive support.

Fuck me NCA. I wish I could be as grown up as you. Is he stunned into silence or texting your furiously?

And I presume the toilet rolls are for when the penny drops and he shits himself?

Just wanted to say well done, and I hope when the girls are in bed you can get your friend round for a good rant and support!

applauds op.
you are so brave.
at the very least you need him to give you space

I had a cheating bf once, I found pictures he'd taken of several women. We lived with his parents at the time (very long time ago!) so I took the opportunity to glue them to the underside of his mums glass dining table. I hope you have some rl support.

Oh I hung up as soon as I said it. There wasn't much more for me to say, and I need to talk to him as he has those 2 mill tells I spoke of earlier. He cannot lie to my face.

Just painted DDs nails with sparkles and my hand wasn't shaking much

Before you do anything change the password on his email account.

Holy shit NCA. I really admire your cool and your strength. I hope he is shitting himself and that you are holding up ok. I would have lost the head by now, well done.

Stupidhead - no we really need toilet roll and bread (though I could live without bread).

e'd better bring toilet roll or we're all on rations.

Bloody hell! What was his reaction, OP?

Oops x-post

Nice one OP.

What did he say??

He's changed passwords already, but had locked the new laptop to his email and then left it with my as mine is at death's door. Have screen shots etc of that all over the place including cloud.

That would have been suspicious in itself. we have 'family passwords'. It's new as I accessed his laptop 3 weeks ago for a builders quote.

Oh op! I am amazed at your calm and the phone call!