To do something a bit evil to my stupid stupid DH...

[NameChangeAnon]

Having just found flirting emails with a woman in which morning sex etc is discussed. He's doing it from his phone NOW. The laptop I'm using was going to be his but is now mine. It has his outlook loaded though and the messages pop up in a corner.

So this popped up a minute ago:

From DH

Fun sounds good......
Looking forward to giving you a hug...
And you kissing me back.....

The conversation previously started with a selfy of a woman wearing a quite nice going out dress and talk of the time in the morning the message was sent.

DH replied

You will have to think of some methods of waking me up early too then ....;) x

The woman replied

Oh I have my ways ?? don't you just love morning sex !! Xx

DH replied

You will just have to remind me.....
I can't remember the last time I had morning sex:(

The woman replied

This could possibly turn out to be a lot of fun xx

before DH sent the message that popped up

I don't think he's cheated on me. I think he's a prat. I'm sitting here eating a biscuit that DD2 (4) brought for me and drinking tea planning my next move.

Obviously I'm going to shout at him AT LENGTH at some point.

So do I do any of the following - I am a bitchy cow brazen enough to do this.

a) reply to the message chain with. Errr. Hi I'm NCA and my DH is a prat who forgets I have his laptop with his email loaded.

b) Send a friend request to her on FB. After all we have the same taste in men and friendships are based on less.

c) Reply to the text he's just sent me thanking him for taking time out of his day to converse with me rather than just

d) anything else you can recommend bearing in mind all I can find is this convo.

BTW I know that our current lack of intimacy is an issue with him. I am not all that interested in having sex and this has been the case for a few years. We have young DDS and no time to ourselves plus he works away on a regular basis (really works away rather than anything else. He would be able to sneak the odd night away if he wanted but I have his rota and his departure and arrivals home are in keeping with his hours).

So WIBU to reply to them both?

Sorry about the typos in my post above, al lot of very pesky people were distracting me.

Oh dear I seem to have lost my sense of humour over the last few posts. Let's have some good news.

The people on Throne rush have decided to stay with me and are working hard at their tasks. It nice when someone does something I ask them to without complaint. I may kill a few of the soldiers later by sending them into fight something but it's for the greater good (the greater good mumbled in the HotFuzz way).

I'm feeling a bit cross with an ex-soldier at the moment. I may name he first one sent into battle Mr NCA. Today I shall mostly be polishing a few thousand words of a novel I wrote for fun so I can enter it in the MN competition thingy. Unfortunately I don't have to kill or maim anyone right at the start of the novel, but I could write a small prologue for fun.

Gruntfuttock - he can lie to me but only by omission. Which he may have done. He can't lie to people's faces. And I will be asking him face to face.

Notbythehair - oh I will go wobbly at some point. I have several avenues to cope with stress. Friends, family, wine, woo.

Good luck with your writing, NCA. Channel that emotion and get it out on the page. It's what makes good writing great, and will also make you feel better, I hope. (everything is material.). It is crappy that this is happening, and that he is not dealing with it all better, but you are still you. That's what matters. Lose you senseless humour for a while. Everyone will still think you're awesome. And it'll be back.

Lose your sense of humour I meant. Nothing senseless about it...

Morning op hope your ok. After reading through, even if you did ask to move it to relationships you would still get posters saying they would leave.

So would I'm I'm afraid.

Planning to go and make love to some one else is as bad as doing the actual deed to me. He only hasnt because you cought him with this one.

I couldn't put myself through that. And real life doesn't mean putting up with your dh cheating on you.

Good luck.

senseless humour you've got to love predictive text!

Please do as the other poster suggested and write up your Mr NCA bingo card ready for the full house. I hope you do not have too many wobbles today and your throne people DO care!

It's up to him to make this work - if you want it to.

And 'Waves' to Mr NCArsepiece now he knows about MN. He will possibly lose the best thing that's ever happened to him.

Oh and I'm going to grow my nails in honour of you

Just sending a big hug. God, what a shitty, shitty situation. Can't believe he tried to weasle out of it!

Happy to join MN lynch mob if needed. Have pitchfork ready and sharpened....

Post dammit. Trying to get nail picture on...

Lovely sparkly nails there NCA,

I had mine done pointy yesterday for halloween so happy to lend my hands if you want anyone poked in the eye

Splendid nail polish OP. Do they come with retractable claws?

Nice nails WeirdCatLady. I do have black varnish (and green body paint) that may go on for tomorrow night. We stay in but I do like to surprise the trick-or-treaters.

Pumpkins... Knew I was forgetting something.

More to the point, how are you this morning?

Bloody good for you, NCA.

Am looking forward to your Bing Card - sounds like a best-selling book in itself am mulling over whether the best revenge would be you knocking JK off the list with a story about what a moron he has been. Correctly punctuated, naturally

Wow this is what denial looks like.

Thrholidays - which denial? Him minimising or Me carrying on?

I feel in denial at the moment. Like it's any other day and I'm doing the usual school holiday child entertaining while I try and do my own stuff. I had to go out though as I've told him to pack stuff and be gone by xxx time. The DDs need me to be normal today so it all works out.

We did exchange texts. Me asking if he'd like me to call someone for him. Him firing off a cliche about how crap his sex life has been but that he luffs me really. I replied that this was not the time or the method for such a discussion.

"We did exchange texts. Me asking if he'd like me to call someone for him."

Why would he want you to call someone? He can call whoever he wants himself can't he?

He actually tried to blame you for this?

Beyond brass neck. It can be a problem when sex falls totally off the radar because of tiredness/DC etc. But it is a pretty normal problem to have, and one you can only fix by talking about it and making your partner WANT to be near you. Not by cheating and then using a lack of intimacy as an excuse!!!

That more than anything else would be having me thinking about making a split permanent. There's a real lack of remorse/ taking any responsibility going on there. I am sorry OP, you are worth so much more than this.

But why are you even asking him if he would like you to call someone?

I understand you are probably trying to provoke a reaction from him. For him to beg and promise you the world then you can just go home and pretend it never happened.
He has had no consequences. He is still at home and thinks telling you he loves you but has a crap sex life and therefore that explains why he did it....
Pretty shit and sort of laying the blame at your door. Also doesn't seem like the grovelling apology from a man who made a mistake and seems very much like the script of someone who has been caught.

I'm sorry op. I don't want to come across as rude or nasty, it's just I've been there as have so many others.

Gruntfuttock - wow your MN name got saved and not autocorrected. Because I suspected he would go to a hotel and not be telling his family. It was a way of confirming this while telling him I am happy to share his fuckwittery. He is going to a hotel I also want to check he is ok. He is my husband and my DDs' father and it's not often he gets called to account. His DF reacts badly to having to account for rudeness etc. so I want to check DH is coping.

It's ok folks. Whining and blaming lack of sex are both on the bingo card!

I'm waiting for him to call my friend (he's done this previously when I've been in a rage) to ask her to talk me down. She's the one who wants to eviscerate him...

But why do you care. He didn't care about your status as wife when he was trawling dating sites looking for someone to shag.

You asking him if he wants you to call someone isn't confirming anything with him. He will see it as a sign that you are wanting a reaction from him, and that he holds all the cards. Which he.clearly does from your last post.

He should be calling you to see how you are coping. Not the other way round.

That'd be an interesting conversation then.

You are doing brilliantly.

Caring about the well being of another person is not a weakness in my book.

And we've had one relationship breakdown suicide in my extended family this year. I don't think he would but I'd rather show some compassion.