To do something a bit evil to my stupid stupid DH...

[NameChangeAnon]

Having just found flirting emails with a woman in which morning sex etc is discussed. He's doing it from his phone NOW. The laptop I'm using was going to be his but is now mine. It has his outlook loaded though and the messages pop up in a corner.

So this popped up a minute ago:

From DH

Fun sounds good......
Looking forward to giving you a hug...
And you kissing me back.....

The conversation previously started with a selfy of a woman wearing a quite nice going out dress and talk of the time in the morning the message was sent.

DH replied

You will have to think of some methods of waking me up early too then ....;) x

The woman replied

Oh I have my ways ?? don't you just love morning sex !! Xx

DH replied

You will just have to remind me.....
I can't remember the last time I had morning sex:(

The woman replied

This could possibly turn out to be a lot of fun xx

before DH sent the message that popped up

I don't think he's cheated on me. I think he's a prat. I'm sitting here eating a biscuit that DD2 (4) brought for me and drinking tea planning my next move.

Obviously I'm going to shout at him AT LENGTH at some point.

So do I do any of the following - I am a bitchy cow brazen enough to do this.

a) reply to the message chain with. Errr. Hi I'm NCA and my DH is a prat who forgets I have his laptop with his email loaded.

b) Send a friend request to her on FB. After all we have the same taste in men and friendships are based on less.

c) Reply to the text he's just sent me thanking him for taking time out of his day to converse with me rather than just

d) anything else you can recommend bearing in mind all I can find is this convo.

BTW I know that our current lack of intimacy is an issue with him. I am not all that interested in having sex and this has been the case for a few years. We have young DDS and no time to ourselves plus he works away on a regular basis (really works away rather than anything else. He would be able to sneak the odd night away if he wanted but I have his rota and his departure and arrivals home are in keeping with his hours).

So WIBU to reply to them both?

Wow op! Just wow, you are brilliant

His parents may be judgemental but he's the only one that should be judged here - tell who you like. Take it easy and take your time to decide what to do.

Itsfab - just making sure I've answered stuff (and getting another dose of the awesomness of MN). I did get the point you were making about DH and the DDs on his first night back. I love irony, and have a slight measure of your 'tone' tonight.

We should go for a beer sometime.

ZenNudist - we drew a line under it to save our marriage. Let's just say he put an awful lot of pressure on me to win his argument. I was a bit vulnerable for some reason or other and I spiraled into depression but came out fighting. But it's the elephant in the room, and the elephant gives me strength.

At going for a beer.

Definitely join in!

Sounds like it was time that elephant trumpeted loud and clear.

Cross post - awesome phone call!

You're a legend! Sending you strength x

I hope you're ok NCA and that you get some sleep tonight once he's left to stew at his Mum's.

koko

Oh OP just read the thread. You are a freaking hero. Serious girl crush is developing.

However, I am so so sorrow this is happening to you. I hope he eventually realizes what an utter asshat he is.

and by sorrow I mean sorry..

Wow. You cool woman, you.

But, how do you know they have not met? A bit intimate to discuss specifically morning sex if they had never had it?

I agree - you've done really well so far at keeping your cool! I hope the idiot does realise what the fuck he's about to throw away.

Yes you do need to have a talk to thrash out the situation though - but it sounds like you need no encouragement to speak your mind on that.

OP, you are one of most brilliant women I've ever read about on here.

Good for you op - rooting for you here too! Don't let him get to you when reality hits - stay strong, the power of mumsnet is behind you, powering you on! Then you can collapse in a heap when he's not there!

What a legend.

Just read the full thread, you are truly awesome, I went through something similar a few years ago, PM me if you want the gory but ultimately successful details.

Itsfab - I cross posted with OP.
I meant he is incredibly lucky to have such a cool, calm and collected wife.

Please don't be a cool fool OP.

Just read the full thread, hats off to you, you're amazing. I agree about the shock so don't worry about feeling 'too calm'.

I hope my DD grows up with the courage you have OP.

I'm confused as to why you haven't put him through the blender?