To do something a bit evil to my stupid stupid DH...

[NameChangeAnon]

Having just found flirting emails with a woman in which morning sex etc is discussed. He's doing it from his phone NOW. The laptop I'm using was going to be his but is now mine. It has his outlook loaded though and the messages pop up in a corner.

So this popped up a minute ago:

From DH

Fun sounds good......
Looking forward to giving you a hug...
And you kissing me back.....

The conversation previously started with a selfy of a woman wearing a quite nice going out dress and talk of the time in the morning the message was sent.

DH replied

You will have to think of some methods of waking me up early too then ....;) x

The woman replied

Oh I have my ways ?? don't you just love morning sex !! Xx

DH replied

You will just have to remind me.....
I can't remember the last time I had morning sex:(

The woman replied

This could possibly turn out to be a lot of fun xx

before DH sent the message that popped up

I don't think he's cheated on me. I think he's a prat. I'm sitting here eating a biscuit that DD2 (4) brought for me and drinking tea planning my next move.

Obviously I'm going to shout at him AT LENGTH at some point.

So do I do any of the following - I am a bitchy cow brazen enough to do this.

a) reply to the message chain with. Errr. Hi I'm NCA and my DH is a prat who forgets I have his laptop with his email loaded.

b) Send a friend request to her on FB. After all we have the same taste in men and friendships are based on less.

c) Reply to the text he's just sent me thanking him for taking time out of his day to converse with me rather than just

d) anything else you can recommend bearing in mind all I can find is this convo.

BTW I know that our current lack of intimacy is an issue with him. I am not all that interested in having sex and this has been the case for a few years. We have young DDS and no time to ourselves plus he works away on a regular basis (really works away rather than anything else. He would be able to sneak the odd night away if he wanted but I have his rota and his departure and arrivals home are in keeping with his hours).

So WIBU to reply to them both?

I'm in awe. And a bit in love.

Blimey OP you are as cool as a cucumber. Hope you make the him squirm when he comes home.

Goodness. You're absolutely awesome for you xx

Saltedcaramel - you couldn't be more wrong and clearly have not read any of my previous posts.

NCA - Just in case, did you get my point about the children?

If he is coming in for ten minutes be prepared for him to use the kids as a reason to stay. Not fair on them, we will talk later, etc etc.

I second not contacting the mil. Why would you care what she thinks anyway, he's clearly in the wrong and if she is a 'cow' then she's likely to believe her son regardless of what nonsense he spins or who gets in there first. Keep the moral high ground and your dignity. It will stand you in good stead whatever happens next.
You're doing great NCA, this must be awful, but you're obviously a strong person

Holy crap my love, you are nothing short of spectacular. You are strong, dignified and awe-inspiring. Undoubtedly you will feel anything but, but trust me, we are all amazed at your brilliance. From this point on, let him do the chasing, the worrying, the talking and the grovelling and take things minute by minute. Make no huge decisions while you're reeling from everything, just let things evolve for the moment. Be kind to yourself xxx

I think you have a new fan club OP

Bloody well done you

good luck. you are handling. i also second telling your mil so he can't spin any tales.

yes, ok. don't tell mil. moral high ground etc. i'm easily swayed

Blimey, bet he is squirming now. Well done OP.
If I had any sort of decent fingernail I would paint it all sparkly right now in awe of you.

Hope it's ok when he does get back. Keep strong.

What a shitbag. Well done for keeping your cool.

WOW, just read this! You are amazingly strong. Keep that strength for when he gets home so you can kick him out with your head held high. Don't crumble until the fucker is out

Jesus Christ

Op you are a freaking legend

for you NCA. We're here when you need to offload. Has he contacted you at all?

Wow NCA - I too very much admire your way of handling it. I have every confidence that you will make the right, cool-headed decision. Good luck. I hope he understands what a fool he has been.

What time is he due home?

Sister, here's to sparkly toenails. Do you need a 23?
I am in awe.

NCA, you are too cool for school and I salute you. Nice moves lady.

Your H is a reet bastard though isn't he? Massive sympathy - no one deserves this kind of crap, especial after having put up with forces life (my DH is also military).

Hats off to you NCA. You're a stronger woman than most.

What a scummer!

You deserve medal for remaining so calm and one of these, hopefully he will have an explanation when he gets there and apologises throwing himself at your feet

your doing brilliantly - easier said then done but we are all here

He got home. The DDs hugged him and DD2 played her latest kissing game. I then sent them to watch more Cbeebies crap (DD1 is good at iPlayer)

OW doesn't know he's married. He tried the 'oh it was just a fantasy really' line and I shot it down with quotes from him.

I asked if he'd like me to tell her and he said yes. Wrong answer. You do it and you be honest with her you spineless cretin.

To be fair it's the only cliche he's used so far. No script. Just straight questions asking me what I want. Bonus point to him. He can cook/eat his pizza and then put the kids to bed in a minute and I'll stew for another few minutes. Maybe not his parents (judgemental) but this will not be swept under and kept quiet. I nearly told a RL friend but she was off to bed after a long day. I'll link her to this in the morning.

Yes he did bring the toilet roll.

In awe! You are seriously too cool for school.
I hope your husband realises how shit/lucky as fuck he is.

I applaud you so much for handling it so much better than I did. I shouted and screamed at him a lot and cried for days.

I think we are stronger now (we went through a lot of counselling)

You have behaved amazingly. My new hero. Wow. Just wow. Well done on keeping your cool.