About my niece being left alone

[lollipoppi]

My DB and SIL both work shifts, their children often have to stay out upto 3 nights a week.
My niece is starting high school next year, she will be just 11yo

When DB and SIL shifts cross over on some mornings, approx 3 per week, they will be leaving my niece in the house on her own, expecting her to set an alarm, get herself up and ready for school, lock up the house and get to school, on her own

I have 2 children but they are a lot younger, so I can't really judge if this is ok to do but I just feel so upset for my niece, apart from all of the obvious dangers it just seems so wrong

It totally depends on the individual child

I would have had absolutely no problem at that age

My eldest DC wouldn't have got up for school, my middle DC would definitely have got himself up early, made breakfast, washed up, locked the house. My youngest DC (nearly 12 and just started high school) would probably be fine, but I'm not sure I'd trust him to remember to close windows etc.

Well I'm worried about leaving my working 17 YO DD for a week.
Thinking of getting my nephew round for the week to keep her company.
She really wants to do this on her own but I'm just not sure.
11 - no way on this planet!
They need some support in the mornings.
Reminders of everything.

Make sure they have something to eat and drink.

what about the other children? who has the kids when they 'stay out'

it's all very vague OP but if it is simply a case of an 11/12 year old getting herself up and off to school 3 days a week I think yabu

Sounds fine to me.

Most people wouldn't turn a hair at an 11 year old arriving home to an empty house, and I think already being in it and then leaving is far safer - it hasn't had all day for something to go wrong unnoticed.

I agree with Worra though - it does depend on the child - my eldest is in year 7 and would have no problems

Depends on the child. Ds1 would have been fine with this. Ds2 not a chance.

I regularly had to get myself and my younger sister up and ready for school as my mum did shift work and my dad was away lots.

hellsbells they don't all need support in the mornings and reminders etc

Some do and some don't

Kids are as individual as adults.

At 11yo, I have one child where I say no way in Hell, and another I would trust to get to school and look after the house. Totally child-dependent IMO.

Where are the other children at this time, are they older or younger?

I expect they'll be having a few trial runs at it before then to ensure she can lock up properly etc.

I'd say it's slightly on the young side, but if she's a capable girl, she'll be fine. She's probably used to more responsibiity than many 11 year olds. I think mine were about 13 when doing this, but that's because I happened to be here and there was no need.

Does she have far to get to school? She would probably text her parents to confirm all okay, so they wouldn't worry.

Mine would be rubbish from a timekeeping pov at 11, but not from a safety pov. Time management is something you learn by doing though, probably am yet to learn this myself

Agree with the child dependent comments. My DS did it when he was 11. He was fine.

Plus no childcare at that age unless there is a breakfast club at school.

I agree that it very much depends on the child but I know a few 11 year olds who would have no problem getting themselves off to school and in some ways the responsibility might be good for them. It's probably a case of needs must, I doubt they would be doing it if they had another option.

well, I get up to keep ds company, he is year 7. His bag is packed night before, uniform out night before, snack and drink made and in bag. He gets himself up, breakfast, dressed and then out through the garage on his bike. Garage door shuts locked behind him.

As I said I get up to keep him company, but he is more than capable of doing it.

dd1 is year 5, I think when she gets to secondary we will have to be more pro-active to get her out of the door, but she would hate to be late, so i bet she would be fine too.

depends on the child.

Depends on the child. Ds2 would be fine, ds1 no chance!

Is your neice happy with it?

Do you mean she has a sleeping parent in the house? Or that she is left alone in the house?

What if there is no childcare available or they cannot afford it? Keep your beak out unless it's to offer your services.

Seems ok to me, depending on the child.

I was getting myself up and out in an empty house from that sort of age. Didn't bother me, didn't burn the house down, left my key behind and locked myself out a few times but just went to neighbours house till parent came home, learned my lesson after a couple of times.

Thanks all, thats put my mind at rest

The younger child will still be staying out as he is still in primary school

She is very independent, it just worried me from a safety point of view, or if she oversleeps, or wakes up feeling poorly

I've looked after my niece a lot since she was a baby, I have her over night and several times during the week, maybe I'm being a bit over protective

Carlsonrichards there is childcare available, me, grandparents, sisters, the same people who have offered our care and school runs for the past 7 years and have all said we are happy to still help.

Maybe this is what DN wants?

I think social services would see it as a child protection issue if she is home alone, so even if she is completely able and willing to look after herself it would be foolish in my opinion to risk involvement from social workers.

I'm not sure on the age here?
Is she still at junior school? If so, I'd be concerned. However it also depends on the support systems in place for her, how close is someone is there was an emergency?

if not is

Why would social services see it as a CP issue gentlehoney?

I think social services would see it as a child protection issue if she is home alone, so even if she is completely able and willing to look after herself it would be foolish in my opinion to risk involvement from social workers

Most formal childcare stops at 11 - I doubt SS have the time and resources to start investigating every senior school aged child who's left alone for a few hours a week due to parents work commitments.