I've been a sahm since having ds. He's 5 and a half and in year 1. He started a new school in September and is just settling in.
I've been offered a job but it will mean him going to before school club from 8am ish. I'm feeling really anxious about it. Really anxious. The before school club let the children onto the playground at 8.40 (bell goes 8.50) and the children just join everyone else but no one seems to watch them. The gate is open at this point with parents coming and going and it's a really busy road.
I'm worrying because if ds escaped (it's probably unlikely he's car sensible) how would anyone notice? I might not know until I got a text from the school saying he wasn't there and I won't be able to check my phone much in my new job so it could be lunchtime before I knew.
And also it's breaking my heart to think of his little 5 year old self going and lining up on the playground with no one to hug or kids him. Most of the mothers are sahm (they mainly have younger children still at home) and I think there's only two others in his class who use before school club. So he will see everyone else's mommy hugging goodbye and his wont be there.
Tell me to get a grip...I know lots of people have to do this and he's 5 not a baby but I'm finding it such a wrench. The thought of him all alone in the playground makes me want to cry.
I'm feeling hugely hugely guilty. And I can't sleep. I haven't been to sleep at all yet I've just lay here worrying. I was really pleased when I was offered the job but now I just feel awful for ds. I think if they didn't let them out on the playground I would feel much better. It's the letting them back out when everyone else's parents are there and the gate is still open. I know I'm going to want to ring the school to check he's made it back in ok for registrar! They must have some sort of proper system where he couldn't just disappear mustn't they???