To let my 2 yr old son wear a tutu in public

[Onbehalfofmyhusband]

Apologies as I know this has been done to death but I need to settle an argument with my husband.

DS is 2.5 and likes to wear tutus and dresses (often borrowed from his older sister). AIBU to let him wear these in public? It's not every day, just maybe a couple of times a week. DH thinks I am.

"l refuse to believe that a man who grew up with older sisters hasn't worn a dress at some point in his life".

My younger brother showed no interest whatsoever in my clothes, dolls or other "girly" things when he was growing up.

Don't think he's info wearing dresses in his spare him as a young adult but one never knows.

DD never showed any interest as far as I can remember. He does however have the patience of a saint and when his hair was not gelled into weeping submission longer he would allow his sister and cousins to put hair clips and bobbles on him.

DS. Not DD.

I refuse to believe that there's a man or boy on the planet, if he has older sisters, who has not dressed as a girl at some point in his life.

I can only speak for myself and my younger brother (unless he did it in secret). We had three older sisters and one more in between our ages so there'd have been clothes of the right size and yet we never wore them.

I never had any interest in wearing my brother's clothes either. Perhaps you have to believe there's something special about it for it to become intriguing. Coming from a big family there were always piles of clothes around so we may have just seen them as clothes.

If it makes a difference I grew up in the 50s. The idea that men were better than women was still around, but people didn't get so excited about pink or blue.

He wants to be a princess when he grows up. He may struggle with this ambition, as although the Monarchy may be modernising a bit and Kate is a commoner, I am not sure things will have moved far enough along by the time he is old enough to marry for him to realise this dream

Bless him how sweet.

Nail varnish on boys was a trend round here last year. All of a sudden, instead of moshis/gogos/pokemon in the playground, it was nail varnish. Completely led by the kids, no sign of a lefty/liberal/cool/hipster parent being behind it.
My DS2 who was 6 at the time spent his pocket money on some lovely purple sparkly nail varnish that I now use on my toes.
I also see loads of small children out in fancy dress, and DS1 used to be one them. He was infamous at preschool for turning up in a different outfit every day. We donated all his dress up stuff to the preschool once he'd grown out of it as DS1 wasn't interested in dressing up.
Maybe it makes a difference where you live? I live in a small village in Cornwall and the attitude appears to be do what you like, what's it got to do with me? Whereas I'm sensing from other posters that they're worried about being judged and what's appropriate?

My DS's never tried on any of their sisters dresses, skirts or dress up cloths. I feel like I must be a bad mum . They liked dressing up as more traditional 'boys' characters like pirates or Cowboys. They chose to do this all by themselves. They have managed to grow up into lovely kind, considerate and non judgemental adults.

I imagine if they had wanted to wear dresses I would have suggested they didn't as I think it looks a bit silly but I wouldn't have cared if they had. Despite hearing about millions of boys who wear dresses on Mumsnet I'm yet to see one in real life.

I find it interesting that the first few posters on the thread (I haven't read it all) assumed that the the DH's objection relates to the tutu being a sign of him being 'gay' - when I think of all the gay men I know, I don't recall seeing any wear a tutu. Why jump to that conclusion? Perhaps the DH just likes conformity, and would be embarrassed to let the ds dress in a way that many would see as so 'eccentric'? Seeing a boy in a tutu would not be a common occurrence and would certainly draw extra attention - perhaps the dh does not wish for his son to be looked at in this way. Not everyone likes to draw attention to themselves and their family, and prefer to blend it.

Or perhaps the posters are right and the dh is worried ds will be gay, I dunno

To be fair, unicorns have always had a preference for pure hearted maidens, I think. I can't see how they can complain of a little sexism turned back at them.

MissDuke, you are spot on. DH has no concerns at all about DS being gay - I don't think he is bothered either way about his future sexuality. He is however bothered about conforming. I can see his perspective, however at 2 I think this is a non-issue.

I think DH gets frustrated as often DS gets away with wearing whatever he likes because I don't want the tantrum - as with any 2 yr old I need to pick my battles and this is one I don't think is worth fighting. So for example DS is currently (at home!) wearing a pair of DD's tights because he has decided they are a good thing to wear to "keep his legs snugly"

Depends on the weather and where you're going. Personally I don't think tutus are very practical but okay if it's a nice day and you're going somewhere indoors e.g. cafe/shooping.

"l refuse to believe that a man who grew up with older sisters hasn't worn a dress at some point in his life".

My younger brother showed no interest whatsoever in my clothes, dolls or other "girly" things when he was growing up.
What goes inside quotation marks should generally be the actual thing being quoted. I said been dressed as a girl.
This has nothing to do with the interest of the boy in question, more that little girls tend to see younger siblings as life-sized dress up dolls. Although, in the interest of fairness, not all girls like to play with dolls. (It was also - maybe not so obviously - slightly tongue in cheek.)

I really don't understand the angst being shown over toddlers wearing wellies - they're the only shoes most toddlers can consistently pull on by themselves and they don't need to be fastened. Why would anybody intentionally make their life more difficult by objecting to letting their children dress themselves?

however at 2 I think this is a non-issue.

Of course it is, for goodness sake leave the poor boy be, children can get away with having more freedom. Let them.

At one point it was fashionable too dress boys as girls and in Elizabethan times men wore Ruffs and tights. .

More things to get worked up about

It still shocks me when I hear people talk about some friends of mine who are not gay at all, very into women and yet because they like fashion, talk about clothes, or things like that, people from provinces say they think they are gay and masking it, load of bollocks.
Men do and can like fanciful things, they write about fairies, giants, make stunning clothes, are top chefs for goodness sake, let children be children! Dont lable and project all this utter nonsense onto them.

I would absolutely let any two year old of mine wear what they want - with great amusement from myself .

Dp however would hide in shame.

Individuality is the spice of Life!