To let my 2 yr old son wear a tutu in public

[Onbehalfofmyhusband]

Apologies as I know this has been done to death but I need to settle an argument with my husband.

DS is 2.5 and likes to wear tutus and dresses (often borrowed from his older sister). AIBU to let him wear these in public? It's not every day, just maybe a couple of times a week. DH thinks I am.

Mandarin I truly can't believe that a 16 year old boy is into that stuff. Seriously that can't be real. Sorry but you're just being ridiculous now.

I wouldn't have allowed it but only on the basis I don't allow "dress up" or dancewear to be worn out in public. It's usually either too flimsy/cold/revealing etc etc

But ds was singing this sing earlier (he is 10)

Is it sinful if you're blue
To cheer up the place?
What is wrong with dressing up in satin and lace?
Get some earrings, some mascara, heels and a fan.
Pretty soon you will start to feel a different man.

What the hell's wrong with expressing yourself?
Being who you want to be?
Will anybody die if you put on a dress?
Who the hell cares if your blusher's a mess?

Start a new fashion, buck all the trends.
Emphasise integrity.

Cos what the hell is wrong with expressing yourself
For wanting to be me?

Mandarin - if you are happy with a pile of plastic tat then that's fine.

I imagine (actually I know) that some people think I'm odd for letting a boy do ballet - I really don't care. He enjoys it and he's good at it. I still stand my there are appropriate places for dressing up outfits and often it's about the parent.

I'll give you an example. When DS3 was around 3 we used to go to a toddler group - one week he came running over in a blue princess dress from the dressing up box - I will admit I made a huge fuss of him (as he did look rather cute), so each week he put on the dress and he got the attention. It got to the point of obsession with the dress because he liked the extra attention - there were tantrums if someone else wanted to wear it. I stopped making the fuss and the obsession stopped. That was when I realised that he was wearing the dress to please me and not because he was all that bothered about it.

Yes very odd a boy is into unicorns, and the stories about fairies and hobbits, and magic polar bears, and pumpkins that turn into carriages, and trees that come to life, and boys that never grow up and can fly, were written by.......

I still stand my there are appropriate places for dressing up outfits and often it's about the parent.

Its dressing up there is no rule written into British Law that children must be confined to a nursery at the top of the house between the hours of two and three to dress up.

I love seeing little ones dress up and add a little colour and pezaz to other wise boring jeans and T shirt and nasty ca gools.

What is nasty about a Cagool - it keeps you dry if it's raining, which is more than a bloody tutu will do.

I'm guessing you aren't the outdoors type TheHouseonHauntedHill

I am I am not just not keen on typical cagool wear, its ugly.

We wear attractive rain coats and accessories

Or is attractive accessories banned on your list and not appropriate ?

I encouraged my children to choose their own clothes from the wardrobe and dress themselves from an early age because I am lazy and couldn't be arsed

This was quite straightforward for the boys (except for ds2 s dislike of wearing clothes in the house) but dd's outfits could be quite.....erm..... Interesting

Many of my associates still comment on some of the outfits she wore

I don't have an issue with it, DH would have, he had the same issue with the idea of DS1 having a toy pushchair until I did what Bread did too and then said "oh well if he wants one, but not a pink one"
Ds2 has not shown any inclination for a toy pushchair so it hasn't come up again.

I'm all in favour of letting them wear things that make them happy - it's a short enough phase, let 'em get on with it, I think. :)

DS1 also does ballet, and tap, jazz, modern and hip hop. He loves dancing! DH copes with him doing these, because Ds1 also does football and tae kwon do.
I hope Ds2 will also enjoy all these things!

I have no banned list - I set boundaries of what is acceptable in different places

• I wouldn't go shopping in PJs
• turn up for work in waterproofs and walking boots
• go to a nice restaurant in jeans and a t-shirt
• walk up Snowdon in an attractive rain coat, accessories and wellies
• attend a fancy dress party in a work suit

I expect my children to do the same - what they wear in the house is up to them. If we are going out they might need to get changed first.

Right that's it. I'm watching Billy Elliot tonight. Totes emosh.

Mandarin I truly can't believe that a 16 year old boy is into that stuff. Seriously that can't be real. Sorry but you're just being ridiculous now

Yes of course, I didn't realise you knew my son and I personally. I am as you said and liar and everything I have said is bullshit!!

There is a difference between "liking" something and "being into" something. Its not like either have a huge presence in his life.

Anyway whoever said upthread, this is getting boring now I agree.

Op let your ds wear his tutu if he wants, absolutely nothing wrong with it.

walk up Snowdon in an attractive rain coat, accessories and wellies

I did, I walked up snowdon in attractive rain coat and heels actually. I didn't look like a walker but that hindered me not.

Depends what job you do , depends what your nightwear looks like.

Children can certainly get away with more, so let them.

Heels - irresponsible and stupid - why would you do that?

Snowdon in heels, love this thread , it just keeps giving.

Also the idea that not being a huge fan of try hard hipster parent wear means I don't like art.

My daughter didn't care less what she wore when she was 2. She was incredibly compliant and wore whatever I gave her. I wouldn't care to be dictated to by a 2 year old anyway.... but surely they get less compliant as they get older, or more sure of their own dress sense etc?

Now she's 7 I can barely get her to wear a dress, however, never mind a tutu. But that's ok because I now realise the tutus are all for little boys. And their mums, to climb Snowdon in or whatever .

Let him wear what he wants

good material for embarrassinghi when he's older

Only on mn. Has anyone actually seen this in rl. The closest I've got is a friend's ds who is 3 and loves frozen - he has the Princess bedding.

No accusations just fact they I personally as a parent for 25 years have never seen a boy out in a tutu or a princess dress At playgroup yes of course but never At a school disco or the park

Just my experience.

Snowdon in heels.

This is the mountain right or is some trendy boutique in London full of boys aged 8 In frozen dresses and girls dressed as pirates all in black.

Finding it hard to keep up now.

Nothing really to add to the debate except that I get massively annoyed that girls wearing 'girly' stuff is sneered at on here while in boys it is encouraged. Most people don't care ime, they're children wearing clothes not fashion statements.

In other news Mandarin if you're still about may I point you to Chat where there is a great thread going about adults reminiscing about various toys from our childhoods and toy collections.

In heels clutching pearls going up Snowdon. God and I luffs pink and do did my dds.

Dss dressed as boys do in general so very very Boring family.

My DS is nearly 3.

Everytime I pick him up from nursery he's wearing the princess dress from the dressing up box.

He wants a princess dress for his birthday, and I will be getting him one and if he wants to wear it out and about that's fine.

He wants to be a princess when he grows up. He may struggle with this ambition, as although the Monarchy may be modernising a bit and Kate is a commoner, I am not sure things will have moved far enough along by the time he is old enough to marry for him to realise this dream.

Where I live going to the supermarket in PJs is normal.

How on earth has a unicorn suddenly been assigned to one gender to be interested in? A mythical animal? What about a Phoenix or a griffin? Pegasus? Those half man half horse things? (Centaur?) are they girly too? Just in need of some clarification, I'm very confused as to what boys are allowed to like.