To let my 2 yr old son wear a tutu in public

[Onbehalfofmyhusband]

Apologies as I know this has been done to death but I need to settle an argument with my husband.

DS is 2.5 and likes to wear tutus and dresses (often borrowed from his older sister). AIBU to let him wear these in public? It's not every day, just maybe a couple of times a week. DH thinks I am.

I have a dress with a tutu style skirt and I love it. Am I not allowed to wear it in public? To be fair my husband did say similar lol

I am literally and at hearing that a boy is "not let out of the garden" with a pushchair and doll. I fell like I am on a different planet or something. Unless I have got it wrong, and I should never had allowed my DH (a SAHD) with the DTs in a pushchair?

Wow, thanks everyone. As a I said, I know this topic has been discussed to death already on MN so thanks for commenting anyway! I think I can show DH that IANBU.

For those who mentioned different attitudes where they live - yes, I do live in reasonably liberal part of North London and maybe that is why I cannot imagine any of my older daughter's fellow pupils laughing at even an older boy in a tutu. So I guess I'm lucky in that respect. But to be honest I expect the cross-dressing is just a phase for DS - he's also very into spiderman, very physical play (often with his sister!), football, oh and Barbies... so he has a diverse range of interests . One of my points to DH is that if we did make a big deal out of it then he'd probably want to do it even more so even if he doesn't like him wearing certain things, the best approach is to just ignore it.

It strikes me as ridiculous that anyone would let either a boy or a girl wear a frozen dress everywhere

I actively encourage my dc to dress up, as long as warm enough and reasonably practical fine by me.

Dont forget The Body BEFORE the industrial revolution you will find every day dress for most of us was far more fussy than the plain jeans uniform now. and looking back even further men wore.......

tights and ....make up, and even wigs .

Its only relativly recent in terms of history that clothes are quite plain.

You can get away with walking round in outfits as a child, let them.

so he has a diverse range of interests as most dc do, its the parents who come down on trhem and divide them into boys and girls things

I agree with what WorraLiberty said at Thu 23-Oct-14 23:56:36

Nothing wrong generally with dress up for little kids, but it's become a statement now hasn't it.

Has it? I dont think so.

I think more people should do it then it will be less standing out when people do it.

"think it must be a thing, I dont remember seeing more than a handful of dc out and about in dressing up clothes in the last 20 years of being a parent.

In the last 18 months ive seen loads in tutus and wellies. No boys though"

That is because we have a cohort if parents who are unable to say "no" - they are desperate to be cool and radical and have lost sight of social norms. Performance parenting at it's worse - if you need wellies you need some waterproof clothes to go with them.

Frilly Dressing up clothes are just that - they are for dressing up in - at home, in the garden, going to parties, playing at toddler groups - they are not suitable for climbing trees, playing in the park, riding a scooter or bike etc

Oh ffs

I am still huffing about the poster complaining up thread about the little boys playing knights in the park. When I was a 6 years old I was totally obsessed with knights, I actually wanted to be one and had the full detailed " violent and heavily gendered" dressing up set as a prized possession. I was a girl...and nobody else in my family had the slightest interest in the Middle Ages.

I ended up as the first person in my family to go to university and have an Oxbridge postgrad degree relating to the role of women in chivalric culture. Were my parents just as bad as the poor dad in the park you judged getting his kids to run around with swords and shields or is it all ok for my parents because I was a girl, begged them for the armour and I ended up a feminist liberal mostly through perusing my "violent" boyish interest.

Would you have a problem with kids dressing as a member of the police, they deal with violent people and "bad stuff".I would be interested in where you draw the line on dressing up and imaginary play....would you crush the natural interests of your children because you disapprove of them. You said your kids were little, wait until they have their own interests.

There are more important things to say No to. There are so many things the just don't matter - and what your clothes look like is one of them.

no need for FFS-ing, I would have thought? Is this such a huge deal?

In the real world most people wouldn't bat an eyelid at a toddler dressing up, but still can't see why it needs to be validated every 6 weeks on MN.

Not that I have ever seen a boy in a dress, even in my liberal corner of London.

I think the tutu/welly thing is a thing, and is totally a construct of parents, in the same way as a 2 year old wearing a Ramones t-shirt is.

There is a difference between putting your baby in a spillers records babygro and decorating their nursery like something off a scandinavian homes blog and your ds innocently wanting to go the shops in a tutu/tulle skirt from the dress up box/his sister's wardrobe. I am ffsing at people being so fucking cynical theythink a boy wearing a dress in public happened because their wanky hipster parents were trying to be cool.

At 2 I'd let him wear what he wants. As they gets older I think a parent has a role to play in stopping children wearing things / doing things that will make them a target for bullying in the future.
That's not to say they shouldn't be themselves but some children are a bit naive and can walk into things , that's where the parent should step in and exercise some control.

reading this thread I must be a trendy parent!!! both my ddâ??s almost 6 and 2 are often seen wearing dress up out and if not dress up then mainly a tutu and wellies!

in fact today for mufty day I told my dd she couldn't wear a white satin party dress but her tutu and DM boots were the sensible option! and my youngest is rocking a onesie and converse!

OP I say yes if your little boy wants to wear a tutu let him they are only young for such a short time should let them enjoy it my dd 2 is currently loving batman and iron man so im planning on making superhero tutu dresses for xmas combining both her love of heroes and swishy skirts!!

MandarinCheesecake - your 16 year old son still likes Hello Kitty and Unicorns? Really?

Yes Really!!!.....

Why shouldn't he, why is that so hard to believe???

He also likes whole host of other stuff aimed at both male and female. I have just dropped him at his girlfriend's house and no he wasn't wearing his pink unicorn pyjamas.

Out of all of my dc's he is the most mature and level headed.

I like my little pony, Hello kitty, Squinkies, and dolls houses. I also collect various toys from the 80's..... I am 39.
In fact I am wearing a strawberry shortcake t-shirt right now Should that not be allowed either then?
Should my 2 year old grand daughter not wear her batman t-shirt?

Age has nothing to do with your likes and dislikes.....whether they are aimed a specific gender/age group or not.
it shouldn't matter, You like what you like. But sadly to some people it does matter and they do judge.

Nobody should ever have to justify who they are and quite frankly I refuse to do so any further.

That is because we have a cohort if parents who are unable to say "no" - they are desperate to be cool and radical and have lost sight of social norms. Performance parenting at it's worse - if you need wellies you need some waterproof clothes to go with them.

Frilly Dressing up clothes are just that - they are for dressing up in - at home, in the garden, going to parties, playing at toddler groups - they are not suitable for climbing trees, playing in the park, riding a scooter or bike etc

I couldn't disagree more. How can you get worked up about a different arrangement of threads?

Frilly dress up clothes are for playing in wherever that play takes place.

My DD has successful climbed trees, ridden bikes, walked through streams in all sorts of get ups.

I am staggered by how up tight some posters sound? Not into the arts then, or acting?

I was out at NT property the other day and my DD was in a wonderful witch dress and a cape, and it was soo windy she was racing along pretending to be a witch, grabbing sticks and so on. There was a poor child there on a very warm, un seasonaly warm hot oct day, with wellies on ( no sight of rain) and those awful up to the neck water proof trouser, she was trudging along poor thing, her face all red and hot...dressed for a mud bath...whilst DD was running along, free....

oh and my dd has a HIM and sex pistols t-shirt both are for bed - she likes them as they are like mummy and daddies not because she is a fan! same could be said for under 1 year olds wearing character clothing, purely parents choosing to buy those clothes

who are unable to say "no"

i am the one encouraging let alone saying no.

I agree with Worra and it's getting a bit boring now...

TheHouseonHauntedHill - as I mentioned earlier I have a ballet obsessed boy, he is good and at the age of seven sees it as a potential career. There's nothing wrong with any clothes for children in the correct place.

Mandarin - sorry but I find a 16 year old (boy or girl) who is into Hello Kitty and Unicorns a bit odd. As for a 39 year old liking My Little Pony - words fail me. A Batman t-shirt for a two year old - nothing wrong with that.

I have never seen a child in any sort of get up and thought the parents wanted to make a statement, I cant imagine any parents deliberately putting boys in tutus for everyone else.
I think some people on here have an inflated sense of what people do for them !!

Mandarin - sorry but I find a 16 year old (boy or girl) who is into Hello Kitty and Unicorns a bit odd. As for a 39 year old liking My Little Pony - words fail me

Well I guess that's where you and I differ then. I tend to be a bit more open minded and accept people for who they are.

Yeah it's well boring thelast I wish i wouldn't get sucked into these discussions. So irritating.

Is now the time to bring up cosplay and bronies? Clutch those pearls ladies