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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked at the casual drug use

70 replies

onemiddlefinger · 23/10/2014 09:12

It's about this tragic story
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2803948/What-tragic-waste-two-lives-Lying-bed-littered-drugs-young-British-newlyweds-class-degrees-dead-hotel-near-Taj-Mahal-backpacking-tour-India.html Graphic photo warning added by HQ

The casual drug use that they documented on twitter. Is this common? If it's on twitter for the whole world to see it implies that it's nothing to be shamed off, in fact the opposite. What about their families and friends, they must have known?
I find it quite shocking and of course it's a tragic loss of life, just fail to understand why/how do you get to this point.
Also in my naïve mind I thought that drug use is something people try to hide from their colleagues, friends and family.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 23/10/2014 09:16

The Daily Fail are ghoulish cunts for publishing that photo of the dead couple.

You might have put a warning in the thread title as there will be lots of people who don't want to rubber neck at that.

whois · 23/10/2014 09:17

I don't think the kind of 'casual' drug use where you take a cocktail of narcotics and manage it OD is 1. Common or 2. Casual

Hatespiders · 23/10/2014 09:21

i was shocked too when I read about this case in the paper yesterday. It seems they were taking anything and everything; prescription drugs and 'leisure' drugs, all sorts. So young and all their married life in front of them. Tragic.

I shouldn't imagine this is in any way the norm. People use cannabis, alcohol, some ecstasy or other stuff, (which as an older person I can't condone) but not usually to the degree of dying from it.

Boasting about it on social networks was also weird. I expect they had a sort of obsession with this way of life and couldn't see the madness of it.
I imagine one of the pair had introduced and encouraged the other one to go down that road. Toxic in every sense of the word.

I feel for their respective families. How do you come to terms with that?

motherofmonster · 23/10/2014 10:10

I would think that someone putting things like that on social media is more of a cry for help and you can almost see him spiralling into a depression. It is sad. The problem with alot of these prescription drugs is that they can change the sense of reality and thinking patterns and have longer term effects than alot of so called illegal drugs.
it is terrible shame for the family that these unanswered questions will haunt them for along time

PeppermintInfusion · 23/10/2014 11:32

I thought it strange that they were so open about it, given they were both teachers (who I expect would be more concerned with what they put out on social media). So perhaps it was becoming the norm for them.
Regardless it's such a waste of 2 lives.

NeoFaust · 23/10/2014 11:43

Their drug choices were ludicrously off the beaten track. No-one I know in the casual drug-using community uses legal pharmaceuticals for entertainment and they think that mixing them like they did is stupidly insane.

That being said, I don't care who knows about my drug use from social media. Neither did my previous boss, who would join me, or my current boss, who doesn't care as long as I'm competent. Most of my colleagues use something unusual and those who stick to alcohol simply regard it as an 'each to their own' sort of thing and everyone gets along famously.

The Drug War was lost long ago, which should be embarrassing to the other side considering the relaxed attitude of the people who won.

Dickinsoon · 23/10/2014 11:48

what worraliberty said

Allhallowspeeve · 23/10/2014 12:15

neo I think it's seriously time to grow the fuck up. If you can't have a good time with out taking drugs - you've got problems.

I would have serious fucking issues with any of my employees or work colleagues had been taking drugs and deemed them selves 'competent'. Get a grip.

LilAnnieAmphetamine · 23/10/2014 12:19

The most dangerous form of drug abuse is casual poly drug use.

AllHallow I am assuming you never ever drink alcohol then?

Iwantmyparcel · 23/10/2014 12:35

It's really common. I know plenty of people that are similar in good jobs. Think DRs, nurses, social workers, lawyers etc.

PeppermintInfusion · 23/10/2014 13:08

Parcel, I know plenty of people like that too, I think this couple's usage goes beyond that.

Annie, I think you summed it up very well as casual poly drug use being the most dangerous of all.

Neo, IME most companies would have major issues if you publicised these activities openly like that on social media. I don't work with children or vulnerable people, but I would be sacked. As teachers (employed or not) it seems to be strange to do as their social media is often scrutinised. I think it shows how their behaviour in India had become normalised, and surely their family/friends were following this? I would be concerned if my friends were posting this.

Allhallowspeeve · 23/10/2014 13:43

iwant I was going to post quite a long reply but in the end I couldn't be arsed.

No I don't drink.

The fact that people in 'responsible' jobs take drugs, shouldn't glamourise it or make it normal. It should actually worry people that people in these so called 'responsible' well paid jobs have a need to get high and have to take drugs to get them to an altered state of mind.

If I took one of my children to a GP and suspected they were on a come down or still on drugs they would be reported immediately.

livingzuid · 23/10/2014 13:52

lilannie there's a universe of difference between a glass of wine after work and a line of coke after work.

Alcoholics I have worked with have also been suspended as it comes under substance abuse. Yours is a non argument.

NotYouNaanBread · 23/10/2014 14:00

I'm just stunned that he was Tweeting so openly about it. That's job-losing stuff, and his Twitter account obviously wasn't in any way protected if it was being posted on the DM so quickly.

Then it also seems like a very conveniently laid out photograph of the dead couple.

I'm not saying the whole thing is a set-up, but it seems like a very odd and convenient way to explain the death of two tourists.

NeoFaust "That being said, I don't care who knows about my drug use from social media. Neither did my previous boss, who would join me, or my current boss, who doesn't care as long as I'm competent." You are in an extremely unusual professional situation. What you say is NOT the norm. I am in my 30's and have taken recreational drugs in the past and would NEVER EVER discuss it in any context related to work or where a colleague or boss would see it. If I was hiring and saw anything like that in a Twitter feed (and yes, I look them up) the person wouldn't even get an interview.

Iwantmyparcel · 23/10/2014 15:21

I think you have me mixed up with lilannie

LilAnnieAmphetamine · 23/10/2014 15:30

Don't conflate alcoholism with occasional, intermittent subs use. NOT the same. Non addicted or dependent or habituated users (whatever term you want to use) don't have any issues with it affecting their work or family life and because of this you would never know. Only the ones for whom it is a problem are visible to you.

Secondly, plenty of people (millions) rock up at work and feel sub par and work too sub par levels because they have had a few drinks the night before. And laughing about it is socially acceptable. They probably do not have a problem with alcohol but in terms of productivity loss, the use of alcohol costs us billions over the years - far more than any drug.

Thirdly- did you really mean to say that you'd report your own children? If so, poor little sods. They'll come to you for support last then if they develop a problem.

LilAnnieAmphetamine · 23/10/2014 15:31

That last comment was aimed at AllHallow. I am wondering who you would report them to.

TheLovelyBoots · 23/10/2014 15:37

I'm not bothered in the least by social drug use but I agree NotYouNaan that it's not for social media, it's extremely weird to make such a thing publicly known.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/10/2014 15:37

Casual drug use was what my friends and I used in our 20s (E's, coke etc) I personally didn't use prescription drugs but some did eg valium to calm themselves down.

FFW 10 or more years, 1 of the women developed a mental health disorder (psychotic) and sadly killed herself a few years later. She was a professional woman with a slight drink problem but seemed normal on the surface. I don't know what's happened to the rest of them but I do know that our behaviour was quite superficial, looking back.

I've got no idea how these drugs will affect me in the future either! Personally I always stuck to E's and coke and water (alcohol didn't mix with E's).

I personally wouldn't advocate taking drugs now but I did take them in the past and I had a bloody good time.

TheLovelyBoots · 23/10/2014 15:37

I'm torn between thinking these two are idiots and feeling quite badly that things went so wrong.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/10/2014 15:39

Neo I have to say that a few years ago I would have agreed with you but yes, no one I know mixes OTC drugs with street drugs.

i do however think you're skating a thin line if you think your boss/colleagues etc approve/condone etc of your casual drug use. See my friend above for a story of that. won't go into it here but suffice to say it involved her boss doing drugs and clubbing with her.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/10/2014 15:41

TheLovely those two ARE idiots as they were mixing god knows what and seemingly not caring of the consequences.

At least if my friends and I took drugs we knew where they were from, what not to mix them with and if someone took ill we sought medical advice. That's not to condone what we did but we certainly didn't dice with our lives and this is a group of 10 or so people.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/10/2014 15:42

Neo and of course it's bad that things went so badly wrong.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/10/2014 15:42

sorry last comment was to The Lovely

NeoFaust · 23/10/2014 15:53

With regards to social media, I don't apply to jobs where I'm aware that the company insists on social media access. Nor do I allow access to my social media beyond people I know are cool with it. Why would I? If they're not cool with it they might find it offensive, irregardless of possible professional impact on me.

SuperFlyHigh - You make a fair point about the risk, and others have made a good point about how unusual my situation is. But then, despite occasional encounters with the police in the past (always respectful and courteous from both sides, being white and middle class has big advantages) my last two CRBs were completely clean.

I think people are utterly unaware of how normalised it is behind the scenes because their is still so much stigma attached to it. Speaking of being shocked, I was freaked out how consistent cocaine use was among my younger colleagues. My generation thought it was for rich super models, and I was extremely surprised by it's prevalence. I don't touch it myself. (15 minute high for how much? Bugger off).