AIBU in wanting to hear what "adult-isms" your very young toddlers have come up with in the language department?

[travelswithtea]

So, I am watching DC attempt putting together consonants and vowels (it is not going well, alas) and was reminded of good friends' twin grandchildren who only recently turned two, and when their grandparents were visiting the other day they heard the following exchange between the girls:

Twin 1: I demand that you allow me my individual time to play with that (points to toy)
Twin 2: You are not in a position to demand anything, young lady.
Twin 1: Oh, you are so infuriating! When will this madness end! (stomps off)

They come from a highly literate family with the parents having never spoken to them in non-adult language, and apparently they come up with these sorts of gems all the time. They were using full sentences etc etc etc really early on, basically from the moment they started talking. :) But I should also think that it is not really that unusual, and lots of kids just happen to have great verbal skills from the get go.

So now I'm interested to hear what adult-isms your very young toddlers have come up with when using "proper" language? (I remember there was a philosophies of children thread on here some time ago, but I'm more interested in actual language use; I'm just wondering what I could look forward to (with any luck, as it ain't looking good right now) with this DC and sentence/vocab construction!)

I've just recently had DT1's parents evening. The first entry in his writing journal for the new year was to explain what would make a better London. He wrote.......'I would put more toilets there so you can have a poo or a wee as you never want to be caught short. I would make a park with swings for the children and flowers for the grown ups to stare at.' He also wrote he did 'stuff' in the school holidays.

I was babysitting for a 3 year old years ago and had been given instructions to let the plumber in to sort a pipe. Very nice man, chatty and trying to get the 3 year old to laugh. 3 year old would not have any of it and when I told him to say hello to the plumber he turned round and said in a very formal voice "I can't possibly, we haven't been introduced"!

Such a crap day at chez Crash but this thread has cheered me up no end.

My ds (nearly 3) can be very complimentary when I wear a new outfit he hasn't seen before: 'Wow, I LOVE your dress - where's that from?' He must have heard me say it to someone once.

Looking at a book about dinosaurs and dd1 said "I don't think this is suitable for kids"

Friends little boy aged two had done something naughty. He looked at her and said, it's not an "oh dear". When he was same age he told her that she was just not no fun anymore.

What a wonderful thread, I love all these Edwardian turns of phrase! I'm going to start using 'inconceivable' around DC, how lovely!

DD1, 3, watching DD2 (10 months) pulling herself upright and creeping round the furniture said, in a very patronising voice I cringlingy recognise as my own: 'You can walk all by yourself! You clever little bugger!' I had to leave the room so as not to show a reaction.

I love it when she 'takes care' of me when she thinks I'm ill or tired...she strokes my cheek and says 'ahhhhh there there sweetie pie, let's cuddle you up.'

DM congratulating her on her drawing of a cat (an orange squggle), she said in a very bored tone 'Actually, DM, cats are rather easy to draw...'

More patronising tones: 'Shall we go to the park this afternoon Mama? Does that sound like fun? Is that a deal? Yes or no?' All my own phrases turned back on me!!

The best ones that have come from my kids have been terminology they've heard at infant school but sound totally incongruous coming from them. "What did you do today at school?" Thomas aged 4 - "I did small world and construction Mummy".... (that'll be toy cars and Lego then.) Cara aged 6: "Well, this afternoon we had Child Initiated Play" (that'll be doing whatever you like then )

This is an ace thread!

Sat in a traffic jam, DS (3) asks me in a high pitched and helpful tone: 'are these cars getting in your way mummy?', like he was about to move them for me.

I was hosting a play date for a little girl of three with dd the same age when a tussle started over a toy. I went to remove it from DD who snarled 'FFS!' (In full obviously...) and then headed for the door to go to her bedroom because she knew she was in trouble. I ran after her to remonstrate and grabbed her hand, whereupon she said 'let go of me. I am not putting up with this nonsense any more!'

All at the too of her voice with exactly the right inflection. I was mortified. Luckily other mum thought it was hilarious.

She is 8 now and never swears. Phew.

My DS aged seven was in the cubs, along came bob a job week and we were trying to decide what he could do. I was suggesting sweeping up leaves or other menial jobs. Is there anything else you can think of I said and he suggested, ironing.

Dd2 aged 3 about to go to nursery spring afternoon stands outside turns round and says
I think i take my cardigan it might get nippy later

Dd1 5 asks for poplar toy in shop which was out of price range i say no its too ££ she replied
Well my soical standing will go down now you should of married better

A shop asst overheard and i watched her jaw drop

The other night while tidying up toys, dd (3) is faffing about and I keep telling her to come and help me but by the time she does, I was finished tidying up - she pats me on the arm and says "see mummy, you managed all by yourself"!

Ah despondantmummy my dd is always asking "how about that mummy, is that a deal? Does that sound like a plan?" :)

I asked DS1 (2.4yo) if he wanted some milk the other morning. He tore his gaze languorously away from Bob the Builder to look at me and said, 'Coffee, please,' then resumed watching.

DD1 (now 8 but it's been going on since she could speak - it's Granny's fault) can't refer to temperatures without adding 'bloody' - "it's bloody freezing in here." "Shut the bloody door, you're letting all the heat out." We know it's Granny's fault because she sounds exactly like her.

At about 3 she asked "can this be mended or is it completely buggered?"

DD2 (3) on being told she was being insubordinate, spent the rest of the day running about causing chaos whilst shouting " 's'bordination!" like some rallying call.

If I get even mildly irritated I sigh, or huff depending on which way you listen to it and DD (3) has taken that on with added posturing of her hands on hips. Usually this is if I dare to ask her to tidy up, if she could put her wellies on etc. Recently we've had "Calm down mummy, just calm down. Take some deeeeep breaths...'lax now." and another fave which she says if I am insisting we don't hug every lamp post or bollard on the way into town "You are making me rather angry now Mummy. Really quite very angry now actually." which is accompanied with a small stomp of the foot and two tiny clenched fists.
Trouble is I can hear myself in her all too often with these

Oh that reminds me - MIL sometimes looks after the DCs at ours, and asked us to write down how to work the TV for her.

One day DS (prob about 4 or 5) randomly opened the drawer where the bit of paper lives, looked at it and said resignedly, "In-bloody-structions"!

My son at age 2, when he got angry or frustrated with something he always said 'I just have to compose myself '

He also used to say his sister 'antagonised me!' Aged 3

When my son was aged three I asked him if we could make a deal, if he was good I wouldn't get angry and he agreed. Of course he did something naughty and saw I wasn't happy so he shouted, " the deal, the deal mummy, remember the deal".

DD1 aged about 3, once got bored because I was spending too long looking at something out shopping, and flounced off towards the shop door saying, in perfect imitation of my sister, "I'm going outside for a fag."

My favourite is when DS1 sweeps open the bathroom door to see me on the loo, then announces: 'Mummy! You are doing a WEE! Well done Mummy!'

I like positive feedback

Love reading these :)

My friend and her daughter (2yrs) came round the other night. I said i was just popping for a wee, little one says 'remember to wash your hands, theres a good girl' so cute!!

I work in school and was talking to a childs parent after, his little sister is about 3.5 and i commented how lovely her coat was and didnt she look all lovely and cosy. She said 'well its a bit nippy out so i thought we'd better wrap up' :)

Before we leave the house DD (ever since she could talk) says, "Now mummy, have you got everything? Phone, keys, purse, head?"

She also regularly starts sentences with "Actually Mummy, I think you will find that...."

She also looks at whatever rubbish DH has on the Tv and asks if it is actually suitable for small girls.

And last week she discovered she had made a mistake in her homework and said "Oh hecky thump, what am I going to do now?"