AIBU in wanting to hear what "adult-isms" your very young toddlers have come up with in the language department?

[travelswithtea]

So, I am watching DC attempt putting together consonants and vowels (it is not going well, alas) and was reminded of good friends' twin grandchildren who only recently turned two, and when their grandparents were visiting the other day they heard the following exchange between the girls:

Twin 1: I demand that you allow me my individual time to play with that (points to toy)
Twin 2: You are not in a position to demand anything, young lady.
Twin 1: Oh, you are so infuriating! When will this madness end! (stomps off)

They come from a highly literate family with the parents having never spoken to them in non-adult language, and apparently they come up with these sorts of gems all the time. They were using full sentences etc etc etc really early on, basically from the moment they started talking. :) But I should also think that it is not really that unusual, and lots of kids just happen to have great verbal skills from the get go.

So now I'm interested to hear what adult-isms your very young toddlers have come up with when using "proper" language? (I remember there was a philosophies of children thread on here some time ago, but I'm more interested in actual language use; I'm just wondering what I could look forward to (with any luck, as it ain't looking good right now) with this DC and sentence/vocab construction!)

Dd, 2.1, said only this morning after her pile of wooden cake pieces fell down, "Oh goodness me, I'm so cross!"
Ds shouts to his sister, in a very cross and bossy tone of voice, "[dd's name], get your bottom over here right now. I told you to sit down and watch Peppa with me!"

inconceivable
How brilliant is that!

When my DS was about 2 he would ask everyone who visited us "how was the traffic and would you like a cup of tea or something a bit stronger?" It made the window cleaner chuckle!

At the same age DS2 often said "pop in anytime for a cuppa" to his friends.

I told DD1 (2) that I was going outside to hang up the washing. She turned to me and said 'Splendid idea mum'. Almost made it feel exciting...

Oh, love this thread.

"No, I don't want to go out, I want to relax with a cup of tea" - while trying to pull shoes off, horizontally.

Whenever a game is played, a repetition of, "no you have to share, it's not your turn, you're not listening! You're not playing very nicely!"

And the negotiating, "No, we have time for 10 more minutes of TV. Shake my hand, that's the deal." followed by genuine indignation when the deal falls through and a huffy, "fine then, have it your way".

4 in Feb. Argh.

Oh gosh yes, someone's post reminds me,

"My day was fine mummy. How was work - did you tell anyone off?"

Must have mentioned this once, on the bus, nattering away while he devoured some fruit. Now he gets disappointed if I didn't tell anyone off...

Apparently I was forever asking things like "does an archaeologist study bones?" but my mum had no idea where I was getting it from.

OTOH, she walked past my bedroom and heard me saying to my doll, "aye, you'll eat it, ye bastard!"

God knows what kind of parenting went on there

Ds, coming home from junior kindergarten (4yo).
I asked how his day went, he stopped and sighed, and said "You going to want a to put a kettle on. This could be long!"

Dd telling the cat this morning ' you little punk' and ruffling his ears shes 18 months

My cousin asked her 3 year old to tidy up his toys and he said, "no, sorry, I'm busy". Doing what? Filing your tax return? You're 3!

I once had a serious chat with my DD about some outrageous piece of mischief that I have since forgotten. I think she must have been 2 or 3 at the time.

She listened attentively until I'd finished, then said: 'Never mind: let's have some chocolate!'"

My mum used to tell me off for dropping ts until I told hairdresser off for it (in mum's voice).

My DD (2) cracked me up when she called out to her grandparents (who were sitting at the table after breakfast) "stay there guys!!". I've never used "guys" with her so I guess she got it from nursery. I now find myself saying it all the time.

Oh, another one from when I was little. We were in a public toilet and a woman in another stall passed wind so I shouted "what do you say?!"

My mum thinks that woman will probably still be in that stall twenty years later, too embarrassed to come out.

If I stop Ds1 from pummelling his brother, he looks at me reproachfully and says 'Mummy, you made me very sad when you said that.'
He also sometimes threatens me with a visit from Fireman Sam

The other day I asked DS (3) to put his shoes on to go out, then immediately reminded him to put his coat on too. He gave a huge, out-upon sigh and huffed "Mama, be patient. I can only do one thing at a time, now, can't I?"

The other day I asked DS (3) to put his shoes on to go out, then immediately reminded him to put his coat on too. He gave a huge, out-upon sigh and huffed "Mama, be patient. I can only do one thing at a time, now, can't I?"

I once heard a toddler on the tube tell her Mum "these biscuits are to die for". The whole carriage burst out laughing. It was very Un-London.

Not a toddlerism, but friend's DD aged 6 1/2 at NYE was given a tiny sip of watered-down champagne in a glass to toast with. She tried it and pulled a face at the taste, but then in the perfect manner of a 50 year old lush, turned to us and said "Well, I expect I shall be wanting another in just a moment!"

At 2, DS was rather fond of informing people "I've emptied my bladder".

Spiffing.

"Oh bollocks " and "oh bugger" in the same week, in similar circumstances. From my 2 year old nephew. He's now nearly 17 so these utterances probably seem mild.

I've just remembered the afternoon that my former MIL did a quite spectacular, trump of a fart. She was the sort of woman who denied the existence of all bodily functions so everyone in the room just pretended they hadn't heard this eruption.

Except for ds2 (then 5) of course who said, admiringly "Better out than in, eh, Nanna?"

DD (3) was in a bad mood, we made the mistake of looking at her and she said "don't antagonise me!" Amazing considering last year she barely spoke and was having speech therapy

She told me the other day that her toy monkey "isn't capable of eating doughnuts because he's diabetic" DH is diabetic

Ds 3.5 said "its aerodynamic you know mum?" Me "errrr" him (rolls eyes) "yes that makes it go faster in the wind".
Old ladies in charity shop laughing their socks off

I went to a shop in search of wellies for my 3yo DD last week. When the assistant told us they had none in DD's size, she said "that's a shame, not to worry, thanks for trying" and headed for the exit, leaving me standing there...