AIBU in wanting to hear what "adult-isms" your very young toddlers have come up with in the language department?

[travelswithtea]

So, I am watching DC attempt putting together consonants and vowels (it is not going well, alas) and was reminded of good friends' twin grandchildren who only recently turned two, and when their grandparents were visiting the other day they heard the following exchange between the girls:

Twin 1: I demand that you allow me my individual time to play with that (points to toy)
Twin 2: You are not in a position to demand anything, young lady.
Twin 1: Oh, you are so infuriating! When will this madness end! (stomps off)

They come from a highly literate family with the parents having never spoken to them in non-adult language, and apparently they come up with these sorts of gems all the time. They were using full sentences etc etc etc really early on, basically from the moment they started talking. :) But I should also think that it is not really that unusual, and lots of kids just happen to have great verbal skills from the get go.

So now I'm interested to hear what adult-isms your very young toddlers have come up with when using "proper" language? (I remember there was a philosophies of children thread on here some time ago, but I'm more interested in actual language use; I'm just wondering what I could look forward to (with any luck, as it ain't looking good right now) with this DC and sentence/vocab construction!)

This is a bit precocious but true. When dd was in yr1 the teacher put a poem on the board which included the word 'dessicated' (sic). Dd put up her hand and said, "Miss, you spell it desiccated it is from the Latin secco meaning to dry."She was not a budding genius she had heard her dad talking to a student and explaining the spelling!

This isn't an "adultism" but I've noticed that my friend's 15mo DD is copying what adults do to her because she gives you a tight hug (around the neck - stranglehold!) and says "awwww!", which I assume is what adults say when hugging her.

It's so cute

DS age 3 playing in a sandpit with a little friend
there was a wooden truck in the sandpit so they were sitting in it together
ds is making broom broom noises and turning the steering wheel
went over to take a cute pic of them and hear his little friend say
' No, NOOOO, dS name, the satnav says 'not that way' '

What a brilliant thread - it would be better if I could think of some my DCs have come out with. spiderlight - yours made me guffaw; show him The Princess Bride at some point!

Love these! I took my 2 year old niece to town the other week, after a while she said "ooh i am tired auntie....shall we go home for a nice brew?' Made me smile :)

Though not as much as the time she dropped something at my mums house and shouted 'oh buggering SHITE!!' My brother was massively in the doghouse (sil doesnt really swear so she had heard him saying it)

I have some friends with two little girls (aged 3 and 4) who talk to each other as though they were Victorian ladies at a tea party. Their parents claim they have no idea where they picked up this language. Typical exchange:

"I believe your doll is in the kitchen, my dear."
"Why, thank you, sister. How kind of you to tell me."

DD (3) took a sip of her juice and sighed 'ooh... I needed that'.

She also calls me 'mother' constantly - 'Yes Mother', 'Can I have some juice Mother?' etc - she pronounces it 'Mud-der', hence the username. I get raised eyebrows at the supermarket

Picking songs for my party on spotify got to the lambada my 8 year old commented

"It's very unappropriate to have bare bottoms on a music album" out of the mouthes of babes...

My 4 year old said she felt "rather anxious" about starting school - sad that she knows that word!

A family one - my mother aged 5 arriving at a birthday party realising the venue was rather grand turned to her father and said "thank goodness I wore my pearls" still a catch phrase in our family! Pearls in question were plastic stock fillers

DD (3yo) routinely says "oh daddy, you look gorgeous" when I've finished getting dressed, probably more appropriate for mummy that one......

Has recently started informing me 'daddy, we have not got all the time in the world' if I ask her to wait for a second whilst I'm packing them into the car for nursery

This weeks new one is whenever she's congratulated on something 'yes [mummy/daddy] was very impressed too'

DD at 3.5, on being offered a malted milk biscuit:

'Ooh I'm not a massive fan, to be honest.'

I've just remembered seeing a tiny girl being wheeled about the Northern General with her arm in plaster: "Oh dear me, I'm not enjoying this at all ". Can't have been more than 3, the poor poppet.

Going in to Asda, DS was about 3, asked her what she would like for lunch. Que quizzical face 'Well mummy, maybe I should have a chicken sandwich or ooooo look sushi and olives. Much better for my digestion.' Woman next to me getting a basket looked like she was going to wet her self laughting.

Dd2, 5, frequently tells me her older brothers are antagonizing her.

Right-o! ( said in artificially bright voice)

DW's niece, then eight, talking to me, when MIL (her GM) walks over and barges in Andrew dear . . .

She draws herself up to her full four-feet-something and says Grandma! I was talking! It's RUDE to interrupt.

And I said Indeed, [name], go on with what you were saying and MIL stared at me, if looks could kill . . .

Saw a lovely moment here in Italy the other day. Nonna (grandma) and her GD (age 7ish) both watching a wedding, and pretty much simultaneously both say "che figo" (what a nice looking guy) when the groom came out! The Nonna laughed at the little girl, which made her cross!

Mine (age 2) likes to say, "this is incredible" and "that would be nice wouldn't it mummy?" (Usually prefaced with, "shall we play cars?"). Yesterday he said to me, "come on sweetie pie".

DS (2.11) in the car this morning was asking me something. I told him I didn't know.

He looked at me with a sort of paternal concern, took my hand and said very seriously "Mummy, if you don't know something, you come and talk to me."

The other day an Amazon man delivered a book for DH. "What is it?" DS asked. I told him the man had brought Daddy a book to read. DS said "What an extremely kind gentleman".

He's like a little old man

At 3 my ds announced loudly to his nursery class "can you believe it? It's absolutely pissing it down out there. I was planning on going out in the car."
His teacher said she had to leave the room to compose herself. Brilliant first day.

Best one recently (small child rising 4) when discussing what creatures live in woodland "oh, birds, rabbits, and other things of that ilk".

These are brilliant, thanks for the laughs!

Having told DS (age 2) several times that there would be no more biscuits until after tea, I had taken to ignoring the constant requests and gone back to cooking. I felt a tug at my trouser leg and looked down to see him looking exasperated, hands on hips.
"Have you got your listening ears on?"

Having a quick look at coats in Asda when DS was about 2.5. DD (3.5) looking distracted at herself in the mirror. So expecting just a toothy smile from DS I asked him
"What do yo think of this one DS?"
Small, strapped into trolley person says
"it's nice Mammy ... but do you really NEED it?" Along with necessarily questioning look with raised single eyebrow and everything. I didn't buy the coat.

DD (2yr old) was in the toy car at the park shouting 'dude, come on!' At the top of her lungs. I'm so glad DP has managed to tone down his pre kids driving language!

DD aged 3 'Oh Daddy, you do talk nonsense!' - she got told off but DH and I thought it was hysterical.
DD 'I hope you're listening to me or you have to go on the time out step', along with folded arms / hands on hips and stern face.
When she gets told off and put on the time out step, we get the obligatory wailing, arms sweeping across her forehead and 'This is terrible!' at volume.
She sounds like a monster but she's a little sweetheart

I was told by my 5 year old to " stop being pedantic, its not attractive" ?!?!

He also shouted out of the car window at a guy on a bike " oi ! You should be on the bloody cycle path you dickhead"...... I blame his grandad lol