AIBU in wanting to hear what "adult-isms" your very young toddlers have come up with in the language department?

[travelswithtea]

So, I am watching DC attempt putting together consonants and vowels (it is not going well, alas) and was reminded of good friends' twin grandchildren who only recently turned two, and when their grandparents were visiting the other day they heard the following exchange between the girls:

Twin 1: I demand that you allow me my individual time to play with that (points to toy)
Twin 2: You are not in a position to demand anything, young lady.
Twin 1: Oh, you are so infuriating! When will this madness end! (stomps off)

They come from a highly literate family with the parents having never spoken to them in non-adult language, and apparently they come up with these sorts of gems all the time. They were using full sentences etc etc etc really early on, basically from the moment they started talking. :) But I should also think that it is not really that unusual, and lots of kids just happen to have great verbal skills from the get go.

So now I'm interested to hear what adult-isms your very young toddlers have come up with when using "proper" language? (I remember there was a philosophies of children thread on here some time ago, but I'm more interested in actual language use; I'm just wondering what I could look forward to (with any luck, as it ain't looking good right now) with this DC and sentence/vocab construction!)

DD (2):"I shall go upstairs by myself, but I need some company for the toilet paper".

Stunned PFB Nappy Valley mother, whose twins were 6 months older and non-verbal: "All those words! In order! Making sense!"

"Oh mummy, that dress is so elegant. Thank you". This was DD1(2.5 ish). Now (8) she seems to think shrieking and bear hugging me is an appropriate response.

Ah but these are so wonderful! I've been reading them out loud to DH in passing and we're both having a good giggle.

When trying to get DD1 (2) to leave a toddler group:

Me: 'Come on DD1, we're going now, that was the last slide'.

DD1: 'Nooooo that was NOT the last slide, that was the penultimate one',

I cringed.

Dd is 4 and forever coming out with very adult sentences and words, although of course have gone blank on most of them now. But yesterday's best was "Mummy, daddy bellowed at me". And she frequently tells me off on my own words ("That is NOT the way you talk to me"). She has also picked up the phrase "I'll do you a deal" from when DH is trying to bribe her!

DS has a lot of these!

A few months ago I was putting out the washing and he came to ask me to play with him. I explained that I would play when all the washing was hung out to which he replied 'I'm sick of you hanging out the washing'

When I was looking for a maternity coat I tried one on and asked DH's opinion and then DH asked DS what he thought. 'You look beautiful mummy'

Last one I can think of for now. Was putting him to bed last night and said goodnight and love you to which he replied 'Love you sweetheart' which is what I usually say to him.

BTW - loving this thread but having to laugh quietly with minimal shuddering so I don't disturb/ distract breastfeeding DD!

If I ask DS (2yo) if he has finished something he will usually reply "not quite yet"

DD (2) to DH: "Daddy carry me please?"
DH obliges.
DD (patting DH on the head): "Good girl."

"Mother, you look ridiculous" (having home highlights done - not that amazing in terms of vocabulary, but brutally honest).

At the age of about 4/5, DC and their friends used to all exclaim "Oh my days" whilst clutching at imaginary pearls. This carried on all the way through primary school.

I kind of long for it to make a comeback, rather than being told (on asking what the problem was with speaking to his maths teacher...) "Because he's a twat".

My two year told his four yr old brother to "get off my chair you silly goat!"
He also says "oh my goodness" rather a lot and loves the word "snippet"

My middle son used to say, "what the Dickens?!" when he was 3 or so. He's 13 now, and we still have no idea when he heard that.

my daughter (at 6) would not watch her friend's choice of music video on youtube ' We should not be watching this as it has inappropriate material for children'.

She is quite prudish...not sure where she got that from.

My DD said to me today "sit down and wait mummy, I'll be back in ten minutes". She was off to the kitchen to get a broom for some reason. She is three and has been speaking like this more often than not as of late.

My DNiece is 2 and when she loses her temper she declares 'i'm not living like this anymore'. No one can figure out where she learnt this turn of phrase from but it makes her angrier when we fall apart laughing. It just sounds strange to hear from a toddler.

When contradicted or frustrated, my 4 year old brother used to erupt with "You're the bane of my life."

My 3 year old nephew was playing shops and during a pretend phone call regarding goods delivery was overheard to say "I'll get my people to talk to your people."

My son (same one, now 13) told me once that I would "rue the day" I told him to clean his room. . He was preschool aged, and I know for sure he heard that from me.

DD got a doll's house for her 3rd birthday at the weekend. She has played with it loads, and dS

.... Posted too soon!

... DS (6) has been joining in, with the firemen etc he got for his third birthday. After one particularly frantic bout of fire fighting I heard sd exclaim "these poor firemen really need a cup of tea!"

My mum and I were in the car with dneice in the back seat (2yo). We were having a discussion about swearing and using various shortenings for the "naughty words" when from the back sets we hear "fuck off...that's a naughty word!"
Err yes it is Alice, well done.

Apparently my first words at around fifteen months were "Can I have some more brussels sprouts please aunty".

My Dd has always been about 90 I think. When she was 4 I mentioned the word bottom, got a very disapproving look followed by, I think you mean posterior mummy.

DS1 (age 3) always asks when we walk to the park 'will there be any chums at the park today?'

Age 4 dgs: I'm not actually a fan of early bedtimes unless I am absolutely tired.