DP wants me to get up in the morning to say goodbye, AIBU?

[myfurbyisalive]

DP and I tend to work alternating shift patterns, so one of us may have to leave at 7am and the other may sleep until 12am if they were working a late shift the night before, IYSWIM?

When I leave early I sort out his quilt (tuck him in!) give him a peck on the head and say bahbye.

This morning DP tucked me in but in a way that really jiggled me about and woke me up. Then when he was leaving him woke me up again and stood at the edge of the bed with his arms out, for me to get up and give him a hug to say bye. I groggily said no, but he carried on standing there so I said 'fgs I'm tired' He spat 'yeah, so am I!' Err, yeah difference is youre going to work and I'm not! He stropped off to work.

AIBU to not want to get out of bed just to say goodbye?

Sorry I can't get past the tucking each other in thing.

No YANBU. What a wanker.

How lovely. He is BU.

Of course YANBU, but I too am confused by the tucking in thing too

If one of us is having to get up when the other can sleep, then clothes go in the bathroom the night before, and the 'getter-upper' slips out of the bedroom as quietly and unobtrusively as they can.

YADNBU. He should sneak off to get dressed in another room, bring you a cuppa and then a quick peck if you show any sign of life.

Expecting you to get out of bed and give him a cuddle? What is he 6?!!

My response would be
Fuck off i am sleeping.
Then roll over and carry on sleeping

When DH had to get up before me he put all his clothes in the bathroom the night before so he didn't disturb me. I always woke up as I'm a light sleeper but at least I didn't have to make conversation . Why do you tuck each other in and say bye when you're asleep anyway?? If you wake up you're annoyed, and if you don't you don't know it's happening so seems completely pointless to me!

Re: tucking each other in. I know it sounds terribly sad/weird but we are both awkward sleepers and by the morning the quilt is all bunched up and unpleasant to sleep in. So we just waft the duvet over (as if you are making the bed) so its at the correct angle.

Umm....

When you work different shifts, the one who gets up earlier gets up as quickly and quietly as possible and not wake the other one. Same as when the later person gets into bed.

If DP even breathed near me when he gets up at 4am I'd probably end up punching him by reflex. Ditto when I get up when he's sleeping off a late shift.

That's all just... strange.

The tucking in made me .
Yanbu, a quick peck on the cheek would be fine.

I always say goodbye to DP because (a) I am a light sleeper so will always wake up once he gets out of bed and (b) a friend was killed in an accident on his way to work after sneaking out quietly so as not to wake up his wife and since then we've never skipped a goodbye.

YANBU I am evil when I get woken up more than once before I need to actually get up.

My DH once said wistfully, "My Mum used to get up and fix Dad's breakfast before he went to work".
I retorted, "Every morning my Dad brought Mum a cup of coffee in bed"

so that was that.

If my DP wafted the duvet about while I was still asleep he wouldn't get a goodbye kiss that's for sure.

He might get a goodbye Fuck off though.

Why do you tuck each other in and say bye when you're asleep anyway??

I like to know he has gone (I would hate to wake up and him just have disappeared), and I think it's nice to give each other a kiss before we leave because of what Molly said.

But I don't want to be doing a bleedin singing and dancing goodbye parade when I'm trying to sleep! Good to see the consensus is IANBU, I felt a bit bad this morning.

We do the same as BackForGood. My husband works shifts, he puts his clothes in the bathroom if he gets up at 5am and I do the same if he gets in at 3am. We don't wake each other up at all. I'm a light sleeper so sometimes I hear him come in or leave early, I might mumble a hello or goodbye but he doesn't speak to me if I don't say something first.

Don't worry Myferby my husband will straighten the duvet back over me in the morning when he gets up- your not so strange
But getting my arse out of bed when I dont need too? Nope! He gives me a kiss/say goodbye quietly if Im half awake he may get a groggy response.

DP and I work shifts and I would be livid if he woke me up to faff around with the duvet, so I don't really get all of that, to be honest.

He kisses me goodbye when he leaves (I've been awake a few times and felt it, it's cute) but if he deliberately woke me up to do it I would not be impressed!

He is behaving like a 4 year old with his mum.

YABU to say 'BAHBYE'. The tucking in thing is a bit.. Odd.

YANBU to not want to do a big 'bahbye' every morning when you need to sleep.

Your DP wouldn't like me. DP had to leave the house at 6am to fly somewhere on his birthday. He kissed me goodbye and apparently said "it's my birthday!" to which I groggily replied "thanks very much darling". A quick bye and a kiss will suffice surely?

For heavens sake, getting up unnecessarily at any time is bu.

I couldn't imagine getting up half way through my sleep to wave someone who is an adult off to his daily work.

I'd get two single duvets also, that way he won't disturb you when he bounces out of bed, full of beans.

Not your fault if he's tired in the AM going off to work, very unreasonable of him to use it as an excuse to suit himself, and make you even more tired! Wtf, he sounds quite nobby.

I think the tucking in is sweet.

But YANBU to want to stay mostly asleep and snuggled up in bed when he leaves. Kiss on the forehead sounds about perfect.

What?! No YANBU!

My DH gets up earlier than me most days at the moment. He gives me a kiss and says 'bye' and I say 'byezzzzzzzzzzzzzz'!

YANBU

What if you can't go back to sleep after he's woken you up and you end up tired all day? Try waking him up half way through the night and see how he likes it.