Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be totally baffled (Ched Evans related)

828 replies

soapboxqueen · 19/10/2014 12:45

Just reading in the guardian that Ched Evans has applied to the Criminal Cases Review Commission to review his case. That's fine because it is part of our due process and legal system.

However, in the article it points out that his girlfriend's father is paying for appeal barristers, private detectives and even offering a reward for information in order to help his appeal. Why would you do that? Why would you put up so much money to protect a person who at best (from their perspective at least) cheated on your daughter in a rather deplorable fashion and at worst a rapist? Why would got want your daughter to be with such a person?

I really don't understand.

I'll see if I can get the link to work.

OP posts:
LilAnnieAmphetamine · 20/10/2014 01:04

Well they have set a private detective on her so whether it is the family of the convicted rapist I don't know. But somehow I imagine they'd not condemn anybody who did try to out her. Allegedly.

Andrewofgg · 20/10/2014 01:14

Probably not, but that does not begin to prove that they were behind it.

differentnameforthis · 20/10/2014 01:27

It would be interesting to know the dynamics of the rapist's relationship with his gf & what makes her 1] stay with a rapist & 2] stay with someone who (she believes) "cheated" on her. Because let's face it, if that IS what she believes, it's a pretty bloody sordid "ONS", even if you can't bring yourself to label it is as rape!

Why is he worth believing? What has happened/is happening to her that she feels he is worth holding onto & is worth believing at all costs? I said on another thread (not about this) that some women dismiss rape & other unhealthy practices in their relationships, because they can't be married to/partner to a rapist, and they can't be his victim.

I wonder what will happen when the girlfriend of the rapist Ched Evans decides she doesn't want sex one night. I wouldn't put it passed him. he obviously hates women & sees them as something to use, rather then love & respect.

I wonder if the girlfriend of the rapist Ched Evans would think of that as rape. I wonder what her father will think/do about that after using his fortune to 'bail out' a rapist?

I bet it would be VASTLY different when it happens to his daughter.

differentnameforthis · 20/10/2014 02:30

sangfreude Parents I think I can understand. It's like you are programmed to always see the best in them & you don't want to believe that you failed so massively that you raised a rapist & a potential rapist (what do you call a man who thought it was ok to film an act of rape?). So you are forced to play down what they did & tell the world they are wrong, otherwise you have to admit you failed.

Maybe. Just speculating.

The girlfriend - She believed he cheated, and that isn't enough for her to kick him to the curb...why? Because even thought she thinks it was just that, is she not concerned that he shagged someone his mate was shagging & had his brother film it? That has ick written all over it. Not to mention the red flags!!

His girlfriend has SOMETHING invested in believing him. Perhaps she has been conditioned to believe that men can't rape unless they drag you off the street at knife point, perhaps she has to believe what he did wasn't rape as it could call into doubt their entire relationship, or perhaps there is another reason for her to stick by him.

I blame her parents. And Ched, the rapist. What kind of number has HE done on her, that she feel this is acceptable? How many of her boundaries has he pushed & pushed, until she herself has no idea what her boundaries are? She is 19. Very naive & barely an adult.

I do wander how they proved she didn't consent, given that she couldn't even remember having sex with him. How did they prove she didn't consent?

Really? The fact that she couldn't remember what happened meant that she was obviously VERY drunk, thus unable to consent.

differentnameforthis · 20/10/2014 02:31

Some piece of shit has revealed his victims new identity. So they all want HIM to able to pick up where he left off, yet HIS fmaily/friends/associates won't allow his victim to live her life & carry on.

Says it all, really! They are all, by default, rapists.

Toadinthehole · 20/10/2014 05:21

I do wander how they proved she didn't consent, given that she couldn't even remember having sex with him. How did they prove she didn't consent?

Because consent has to be given. If it's not given, there is no consent. It doesn't have to be openly withheld. The evidence demonstrated that she was too drunk to consent, therefore she did not give consent, and the rapist Evans (who saw the state she was in) had no decent reason for believing she had given consent.

Am going to rant now - not at you. There's no complicated legal issue here. It's all common sense. The real issue is that there are still lots and lots and lots of people who are genuinely baffled by the proposition that a person who is too drunk to consent has not consented. They think there's nothing really wrong in a man sticking his filthy cock in a woman in a stupor. I mean, for fuck's sake ASK FIRST and if the answer is not yes, the answer is NO. If they CAN'T say yes, obviously the answer is NO. To anyone this who feels sympathy for the rapist, ask yourself this: how would you feel if you woke up the following morning to discover that you'd been buggered up the arse by a stranger? Is it clearer now?

coasttocoast · 20/10/2014 05:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sashh · 20/10/2014 05:55

I do wander how they proved she didn't consent, given that she couldn't even remember having sex with him. How did they prove she didn't consent?

If you are incapacitated through drugs or alcohol or even just asleep you cannot legally consent.

If you are incapacitated then you are legally the same as a child. A 10 year old could lie naked in the street and ask passers by to penetrate them and anyone who did would still be a rapist because a 10 year old cannot consent.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 20/10/2014 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wishfulmakeupping · 20/10/2014 07:55

The way his family and supporters are behaving is truely sickening they are bullies.
With each of them taking their ridiculous roles in his life- mother and her Anti-feminist campaign, sister and girlfriend- cries of innocence, fil (to be presumably) bankrolling the whole thing- Ched Evans is never going to see what he did was wrong and was rape.

I keep thinking about the victim- she has been through so much already and being forced out if her hometown and away from family she now has to watch this circus being played out on a daily basis. I want her to know that we all believe you and we won't forget what he did.

HexBramble · 20/10/2014 07:59

.

clam · 20/10/2014 08:08

The Independent: ""Whilst we understand the media interest, we would respectfully request some privacy over the next few weeks," read Evans’ statement."

What a shame that his victim is not afforded the same courtesy.

YonicScrewdriver · 20/10/2014 08:08

You know what might make feminists (and others who care about justice) stop banging their drum? Stop banging yours. Stop hounding his victim, take down your awful website, stop going ok TV shows etc.

treaclesoda · 20/10/2014 08:13

if I was lying unconscious after a blow to the head and a man had sex with me but I couldn't remember it, I'd like to think it would be considered to be rape.

Let's go a step further and imagine that the unconscious state was in some way due to my own negligence (just to counteract the inevitable 'but she chose to drink so much argument') eg I fell off my bike and was knocked unconscious because I had chosen not to wear a helmet. I'd still like to hope that if someone came along and had sex with me, it would be considered rape.

So, whilst it's not a legal argument, from an ethical point of view, that is how I see the matter of consent. It's sickening that a man can be convicted through a justice system that is hostile to the victim of this crime and people still say 'ah but she might have consented really'.

Everyotherfreckle · 20/10/2014 08:53

How can any father think that a man like Ched Evans is worthy to even lick the shite off the bottom of his daughter's shoe?

It says everything about how Karl Massey views his daughter - a piece of meat not worthy of even a smidgen of respect or love.

It explains a lot about her choice in men I guess.

YonicScrewdriver · 20/10/2014 09:02

Yy, every. In his own words, Ched was so keen to stick his penis inside a woman who was not his girlfriend that night that he took a cab to where a woman he'd never seen was, lied to hotel staff to get a key to the room she was in, let himself in without her prior knowledge or agreement and got his mate to stop penetrating her so that he could.

Even if the victim had been sober and consenting to this change of plan (which she was not), that's such a long way from acceptable behaviour I really wonder how his girlfriend has squared it in her head.

YonicScrewdriver · 20/10/2014 09:03

MEOD, it might have been pulled already if it was reported,

clam · 20/10/2014 09:15

Yonic Exactly. I wonder if he told her, "Sorry babe, it just happened."

Everyotherfreckle · 20/10/2014 09:17

Even if she had said

'right Ched, I don't necessarily believe you are a rapist even though rape convictions are rarer than rocking horse shit and 12 people who heard all the evidence decided you were guilty and you were still found guilty on appeal , but I am dumping your ass because you are a cheating cunt who has no respect for women and obviously doesn't love me, and I WILL NOT be humiliating myself on national telly defending you, and my dad WILL NOT be spending thousands of pounds in a bid to clear your name'

Then that would at least be slightly bat shit crazy than the current situation.

PuffinsAreFicticious · 20/10/2014 09:32

The rapist's young victim's new identity has been published on Twitter and Facebook. Can I ask that, if anyone sees anyone who publishes her name, they report the publisher not only to the social media admins, but also to the police? Revealing her new identity or even her previous one is a crime.

Oh, and for the pp who asked how she proved she didn't consent? A) you might like to brush up on your knowledge of legal practice.
B) he admitted he never asked for her consent, and this was corroborated by his pander.

YonicScrewdriver · 20/10/2014 09:33

Oh no

Wishfulmakeupping · 20/10/2014 09:35

Won't these vile people live the poor victim alone now? Isn't it enough that she's had to leave her loved ones and her entire life behind now they want her to do it all again absolutely disgusting

YonicScrewdriver · 20/10/2014 09:35

It's so horrible, even those who mistakenly think he's not guilty should know that they are committing a crime revealing her name.

Everyotherfreckle · 20/10/2014 09:42

B) he admitted he never asked for her consent, and this was corroborated by his pander.

Can I just ask about this - I looked on the 'Ched Evans' site and under the 'facts' section it said that he said that when he (or his mate, they said different things) asked if he could join in she replied with an enthusiastic 'yeah'. It also says that she did the usual things (I won't go into detail here but it is explained there) that one would do if they were into it?

Is this what was said in court? Where do these statements come from? I am a bit confused.

Everyotherfreckle · 20/10/2014 09:44

Sorry I should say that ched Evans claimed that she said 'yeah' and did things to imply she was consenting etc.

Swipe left for the next trending thread