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AIBU?

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To be totally baffled (Ched Evans related)

828 replies

soapboxqueen · 19/10/2014 12:45

Just reading in the guardian that Ched Evans has applied to the Criminal Cases Review Commission to review his case. That's fine because it is part of our due process and legal system.

However, in the article it points out that his girlfriend's father is paying for appeal barristers, private detectives and even offering a reward for information in order to help his appeal. Why would you do that? Why would you put up so much money to protect a person who at best (from their perspective at least) cheated on your daughter in a rather deplorable fashion and at worst a rapist? Why would got want your daughter to be with such a person?

I really don't understand.

I'll see if I can get the link to work.

OP posts:
MyEmpireOfDirt · 19/10/2014 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sangfreude · 19/10/2014 20:09

No! It won't. It really can't. Couldn't the 153000 people who signed the petition organise a protest??? Outside his house, just an idea

SevenZarkSeven · 19/10/2014 20:16

I will be surprised and pleased if not

I also think that loads of people will be really pleased as fundamentally they hate feminists / women who report men for rape / women who see what he did as rape and will see this whole thing as one great big WIN

And that will be upsetting for women who have been raped everywhere

i also think that a side effect of this will be a reduction in women reporting rape I don't know what anyone else thinks on that

PuffinsAreFicticious · 19/10/2014 20:19

Don't worry sangfreude, it's not giving up, it's facing reality. We're not giving up on this at all.

And yes, Seven, I think you're probably right. But it's also a bit of a one in the eye for those who say that men accused of rape should be allowed to remain anonymous, because even the accusation is enough to ruin a man's life. It obviously isn't, is it?

SevenZarkSeven · 19/10/2014 20:23

But they would say that his life has been "ruined"

They couldn't give a fuck about what the victim has gone through on top of the original offence

All these people on telly etc saying " well obviously rape's awful and I wouldn't condone it for a minute but poor old ched eh what a shame i mean you couldn't really say he did anything wrong it's easily done girls these days" yada yada yada

I think overall the message has been a set back for people who are concerned about rape and stuff hasn't it?

SevenZarkSeven · 19/10/2014 20:23

Sorry obviously is a defeatist mood right now

purplefeathers · 19/10/2014 20:44

I'm getting more and more angry about this. I can't believe that not one person in Ched Evans' life has comenout to condemn his actions. Not a single family member, teammate, friend. Is there no one who will say anything other than 'he's innocent'? Can they really not see?

I'm aghast at his mother's response about hoping the feminists find something else to beat their drum with soon. How can she say that? How can she not see that that her precious son did was absolutely deplorable? If the sexual activity had been consensual it's still an appalling way to treat a woman. Any woman. It wouldn't have mattered who was on the bed that night, he was going to 'have a go on her' whoever it was. And then he crept out of the fire escape leaving her naked and ill and vulnerable.

That's abhorrent behaviour even if the sexual contact was consensual.

That's not just 'cheating' on his girlfriend. That kind of behaviour shows a complete lack of respect for women. Every woman.

But, added to all of that, he failed to even think the woman's consent was necessary and therefore he raped her.

How can his family defend such behaviour? How can his mother condone that? How can his gf's father have such little respect for his own daughter that he thinks this man to be a suitable partner for her?

Is money more important than morality?

MyEmpireOfDirt · 19/10/2014 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Everyotherfreckle · 19/10/2014 20:46

Empireofdirt, I've been involved in football, including some contact with the pro and semi-pro games for twenty-odd years. FWIW, my firm view is that, on most training grounds, a rapist will be largely treated as a pariah. Footballers as a class are very concerned with status and image, and a convicted rapist is likely to be perceived as a sad, sad bastard.

Yes, but I imagine that many footballers, like many me where of the general public, define 'rapist' as a man in a trench coat, who hides in the bushes and then jumps out on her with a knife etc etc.

Not someone like good old Ched, who after all, was just unlucky enkugh to innocently shag someone who then 'cried rape'.

Everyotherfreckle · 19/10/2014 20:49

Can I just ask, in court what did Ched Evans say when asked how he knew that this woman had given consent?

PiperIsOrange · 19/10/2014 20:51

The father should use his money to fund so counselling for his daughter.

He is a rapist end of story. He had sex with some one without consent

chaya5738 · 19/10/2014 20:53

I think the reason he doesn't genuinely believe what he did was rape was that he probably did it many, many, many times before. The evidence given at trial would indicate that he was no stranger to such a set up.

jamtoast12 · 19/10/2014 20:57

I do wander how they proved she didn't consent, given that she couldn't even remember having sex with him. How did they prove she didn't consent?

purplefeathers · 19/10/2014 21:05

I think the point is she was in no fit state to give consent.

MrSheen · 19/10/2014 21:07

I think because it never occurred to either, the rapist, Ched Evans, or McDonald that they had to get consent from her. Evans told the police he asked McDonald if he could join in. McDonald told the police that Evans asked him (not her).
Also, the evidence from other witnesses that she was too pissed to be capable of consent.

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 19/10/2014 21:08

Jamtoast - That isn't at all how consent works.

The behaviour of the rapist Ched Evans suggests that he has been in this set up many times previously: having sex with drunk women in hotel rooms whilst in a relationship. You would think that, on that alone, his gf (and his gf's rich father, who is presumably not blinded by love for the rapist Ched Evans) would want him as far away as possible.

I honestly cannot understand why the father is doing all of this. Except possibly that he has bought so heavily into rape myths that he doesn't understand, and has conned himself that it was a one off act of infidelity for which he has 'suffered enough'.

I hope to fuck I never let my own children as badly as that.

thedancingbear · 19/10/2014 21:08

^Yes, but I imagine that many footballers, like many me where of the general public, define 'rapist' as a man in a trench coat, who hides in the bushes and then jumps out on her with a knife etc etc.

Not someone like good old Ched, who after all, was just unlucky enkugh to innocently shag someone who then 'cried rape'.^

Possibly. Of course it would it would be crass to talk about silver linings but if this case causes some people to better understand that this is often what rape looks like then that is, in itself, a good thing. For what it's worth, I think that most men would think what Evans did was utterly fucked up, even if they didn't automatically associate it with the word 'rape'.

jamtoast, it's because Evans, when interviewed by the Police, pretty much admitted that she was comatose.

purplefeathers · 19/10/2014 21:08

Young men need to understand that's it's not okay to target women who are so drunk that they can't stand up properly. That are not capable of consenting to sexual activity and therefore they may find themselves convicted of rape.

purplefeathers · 19/10/2014 21:20

I hope to goodness i manage to teach my son that the only thing he should do with a woman who is too drunk to make good decisions is make sure she gets home safely.

Andrewofgg · 19/10/2014 21:21

My guess is that his club will do the right thing for the wrong reason. They will decide that whatever his talents as a footballer he will be too much of a distraction: a substantial proportion of their own fans, and all the opposing fans (including some who may agree with him but be just opportunist) will not let him forget.

Like I say the wrong reason, but better than having him back on the field.

Bambambini · 19/10/2014 22:50

"I will be surprised and pleased if not

I also think that loads of people will be really pleased as fundamentally they hate feminists / women who report men for rape / women who see what he did as rape and will see this whole thing as one great big WIN

And that will be upsetting for women who have been raped everywhere

i also think that a side effect of this will be a reduction in women reporting rape I don't know what anyone else thinks on that"

Sad to say that this is what. I think will happen. I don't want to even watch or read of him being applauded back into the pitch like a returning hero - just too depressing.

LilAnnieAmphetamine · 19/10/2014 23:53

Some piece of shit has revealed his victims new identity. The headlines will be about this tomorrow.

Not difficult to work out who is behind this....

YonicScrewdriver · 20/10/2014 00:01

Oh no

Darkesteyes · 20/10/2014 00:01

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT Well then they need to fucking arrest this person who has revealed who she is and take it just as seriously as they (rightfully) have the threats against Chloe Madeley FFS hasnt she suffered enough Angry

AliceLidl · 20/10/2014 00:12

That poor woman. I hope the person or people revealing her new identity get dealt with as severely as possible.