To feel really pissed off about teacher consultation?

[katiekatie]

I just went to Ds teacher parent consultation & I'm in shock!
It's a great school & on the whole all the other teachers the kids have had have been great, interested & dedicated people.
But this woman is just...dead behind the eyes, monotone, bland ughh
She started off by telling me we couldn't wait for dh because she had to stick strictly to ten minutes then asked me how he'd settled in! then told me everything was fine, he was 'nice' doing fine etc. Said fine about 100 times
She could have been describing anyone & I just find that very odd

Normal I'd say.

I hate parents night for this very reason.

Only a handful of times have I come away feeling good about the conversation at these events.

Is your son happy at school, if so I wouldn't worry too much

Hurrah for a teacher who sticks to 10 minutes. I'm bored of always having to hang around for 20+ mins after our apt time because other families are spending an age discussing little jemimas educational future in great detail.

If your husband was late for the appointment waiting for him would have set her whole schedule out and inconvenienced other parents and possibly her colleagues.

Yes of course she asked you how he'd settled in.

If he's upset, nervous, worried or completely enjoying school, is he not quite likely to tell you?

Teachers can often see a completely different picture of a pupil to what the parents see at home.

Think it's reasonable she couldn't wait for your dh. I've been to those things and waited hours cos of overrunning. As for the rest - maybe she was having a bad day? I also think it's reasonable that she asked you how he was settling in. She wants to know if he seems happy to you
.

Why is her time any less important than your dh or yours, why should she and others have to wait.

You know teacher have to get home, waiting for your DH ( and others) could mean going home very late.

I quite often ask how the parent feels about the child settling - it is their interview after all and I want them to feel involved.

It sounds as though she needs to work on her delivery though.

Yabu imagine if everyone came just a 'few minutes' late

Agree with others-I always ask parents and students how they think things are going first. And timings are crucial.

Sorry your Dh was late so he misses it.

You sound awful

How old is your child?

I often find the first parents evening a bit bland, to be honest. They've only had the kids a few weeks and have probably only just worked out who is who, let alone appraised them in great depth. Mine just get 'doing well' but nothing distinguishing at all. In fact, I rarely think I've learned anything at parents evening in all those years of going.

The only exception to that was when one child had a really difficult year and we had lots of very helpful discussions with the teacher. But if everything is going fine, then it's fine, and I find there's little to discuss.

Oh my, who'd be a teacher

You do realise the poor woman has probably been at school since before 8am this morning, had a 5 min lunch and loo break and has tonnes of books to mark and next week to plan for, all of which have been put off tonight so she can do the parent consultations. She's probably also seen loads of other parents before you and has been told by her HT to rigidly stick to 10 mins or else.

If it's such a waste of time for you, don't go next time, it's not compulsory to attend them.

The teacher with whom I worked for the last couple of years had a great system... she set her iphone alarm for the allotted amount of time (20 minutes as special school so have to do IEPs etc) , warned each parent it was about to start and bingo.. the alarm went, end of consultation

It was necessary as some of the parents could go on for hours, literally.. a class of 6 once took from 4.00 - 8.30pm !! I thought it seemed a bit harsh at first but after 11 years of having to sit through them (TAs are obliged ) I appreciated her methods!!

YABU about the not waiting and the question to you.

YANBU about the 'nice' and 'fine'. I'd expect something more specific than that and would be annoyed.

Yabu, it's not the teachers fault if your DH is late.

What would you have wanted her to say, OP?

Also some teachers need to get off bang on time to pick their kids up from child minders etc.

Ageree with all the other posrters, I'm afraid. I ALWAYS ask the oparents their views first - otherwise i can use up 5 of my astrictly allotted 10 minutes telling the parent something that they a) already know or b) takes u time that i couyld more usefully have used to address their concerns.

And if your husband was late, you had 2 options - to do the meeting on time vbut on your own, or to cancel and book another appointment at amnother time. Why should other parents - as well as the teacher - be inconvenienced by your DH's lateness?

I HAVE to run my parents' evening appointments to the minute, otherwise my own children end up stranded at the other side of town late at night, as well as being unbelievably rude to the other parents waiting who no doubt have similar issues to contend with. I offer every parent who is still talking at the 10 minute mark, and clearly has more of significance to discuss, a separate interview at another time.

I have ten appointments.
5 of those are 10 mins late
That makes 50 mins overtime, which I'm not paid for.
YABVU

Do you know the parents who come to parents evenings are actually the ones who teachers don't often need to see. Your child are doing fine (and there is nothing wrong with that word)

The parents that teachers most need to see never turn up.

Parents evenings make a long day teaching even longer with the knowledge that all the prep and marking you do in the evening cannot be done, pushing everything else back.

Maybe don't go next time? Schools tend to get in touch if there is a concern.