To think that underage girls should need their parents permission to get contraception

[happypiggywiggy]

I think it's crazy that girls under 16 can show up at a family planning clinic or their GP alone and ask to be put on contraception without their parents permission. I'm pretty sure it hasn't always been that way and you needed your parents permission at one point.

My DD is only 10 but it scares me that in just four or five years she will be able to go on the pill without telling me or needing my permission.

I just think that if my teenage DD is going to be using something hormonal like the pill or implant or injection then I'd want to know so I can keep an eye on her and also be on the look out for any bad side effects she may have. Some women have a terrible time with hormonal contraception and I just think that when you're young having someone else keep an eye on you is a good idea iyswim.

Obviously it's preferable to getting pregnant (teenagers will have sex anyway regardless). I would worry that some girls may be under the impression that they boyfriend or whatever won't need to wear a condom because they are on the pill (hardly their fault, but rather the fault of the awful sex education in the country... unless it's changed over the years). I WOULD hope a doctor would go through this with them though, just to make sure.

Id rather chew my arm than talk to my mother about sex im 42

Nope in 43

As I said upthread dd said the gp talked to her about sti and condoms she came out with her pill and a leaflet about a young person s contraceptive clinic in the area,

I would prefer to take my DD, but if at the age of 15 she went and used family planning herself then I would be proud of the fact that she has listened to me about safe sex.

I hope she doesn't have underage sex, however she is not my property and I really can't dictate on her sex life at 15 years of age.

I would prefer to take my DD, but if at the age of 15 she went and used family planning herself then I would be proud of the fact that she has listened to me about safe sex.

I hope she doesn't have underage sex, however she is not my property and I really can't dictate on her sex life at 15 years of age.

I wouldn't like to think that my (hypothetical) dd had to go behind my back to access contraception but yabu.

I'm 36 now but back when I was 15 I took myself off to the FPC to get the pill. I had broached the subject with my parents a year earlier under the ''heavy painful period'' pretence and got a good hiding and called a dirty little slut, among other things from my step F :(
After a few accidents involving condoms I spoke to a teacher that I trusted at School and she gave me the information about the clinic.
I am grateful that such a service existed and still does.

Even back then I was asked for as much medical history as I knew, explained to about using condoms as well, and I had to go back every 12 weeks to be checked over to get a new prescription. The only thing they asked me was if my parents knew and would it be possible to use my own family GP - No to both so I continued to go there.

As part of your on-going discussions on sexuality, you should be the one to educate her on the fact that she can get such care eithout your knowledge. You should also reassure her that you would rather know if she wants BC, so you can help her understand any side effects or answer any questions. You will also have to pre-assure her that if she asks for your support in using birth control, you won't try to prevent her from the sexual involvement she evidently has or intends to have. Your in-going discussions need to also include consent, the right to say no, the right to say yes, and that you would come to her aid if she felt she was in a situation she couldnt deal with.

Feeling secure in your support can actually help her make better decisions, as it removes 'bad sexual decisions' from the list of 'actions to prove I am too grown up but will annoy my parents'.

I mention medical history because my contraceptive has been changed for this reason! If the girl goes to a Family Planning Clinic and doesn't know family medical or her own history, wouldn't that cause a problem?

For goidness sake: surely you will have taught her about any condition you have and which she is likely to actually have?! By the time she is the age for this to matter, she certainly ought to already know it!

My dm never talked about sexy or periods it was and is pathetic and neglectful as a parent.

My dds and I talk about absolutely everything.

They are 14 and nearly 16. The older one had the contraceorive implant after she asked me to help her sort out her options before she had sex with her boyfriend and the younger one knows that me and her older sister are always there to chat to her

Giris shouldn't need to be accessing help with contraception alone.

That's failed parenting. IMO.

As a mother of a 13yo dd, YABU. I'd hate the thought of her going to the docs alone and getting contraception. However I'd hate the thought of her getting pg even more. If she'd gone to the FPC or GP I could at least know I'd done a good job in bringing her up. She hates boys at the mo still and long may it continue

I haven't read the whole thread, so someone else may have mentioned this. I think we should try to "park" what we all think about our own kids and try to remember that there are girls out there in really horrible situations, for example being sexually abused by male relatives and the like for whom the ability to get contraception without an adult's permission is really important. Yes, in an ideal world no girl would be in this position, but if Rochdale teaches us anything it is that girls - even if they can summon up the courage to speak out - aren't always believed. I'd much rather that under 16s who need it can still access safe contraception and manage their fertility than seek to control this to spare parents' feelings.

I have a 16 year old. I am 45.

She and I can talk about sex, I am blunt, she is very very embarrassed. DS is 25. He also got talked to. Not just once, not a one off, but whenever the subject came up.

However, not everyone is able to talk to their kids like that. My mother would have had a coronary at the thought of me having sex out of wedlock.

At the end of the day, it's better that girls AND BOYS can access contraception when they need it, without having to have their parent's permission.

OP, I think you need to re-think your stance. Especially because underage boys also have sex. And there's a tone of slut shaming in your post, which I'm sure you don't really intend.

I hope she doesn't have underage sex, however she is not my property and I really can't dictate on her sex life at 15 years of age.

You can't dictate it. But the law can, and does.

I can see the argument for giving 14/15 year olds the pill w/o parental consent. But really, parental consent is surely neither here nor there. The law says the age of consent is 16, not 14 or 15. So it seems interesting that GPs are allowed to enable teenagers to break the law. And courts uphold their right to do so.

A girl being on the pill does not mean she's having sex.

A boy or girl being in possession of condoms does not mean they are having sex.

As a mother I would like to think that my children could come to me.

As the daughter of a woman who wouldn't discuss it with me I think it's good that I was able to access these services without her knowledge. Not because I wanted to keep secrets from her but because she would have found it very hard to process. This is the same mother that complained I always approached my father about "ladies things", when then challenged to answer my questions about tampons her response? "There's a leaflet in the box, read that"!!!!

As a woman who has worked as a chaperone for young people in a safeguarding role, not every young girl can talk to their parents. In cases where there is abuse or potential abuse it could be very dangerous for a young girl to ask for 'permission'. A parent denying a teenage daughter (or son) access to contraception could result in all manor of problems.

I have 2 dds one will talk about anything and everthing the other wont baffles me as they have both been brought up the same I gave them the talk and later on spoke to them about safe sex etc dd1 wanted to curl up into a ball dd2 took it all in and we chatted I think it might come down to different personalities

YAB VVVVVVVVVVVVV U.

At fifteen, I decided (after research) the type of contraceptive I wanted to be on. I wasn't even planning on specifically sleeping with my partner, but I wanted to be prepared should I decide to.

I was mature, well informed, and articulate.

The GP I saw wouldn't do it until I turned 16 some weeks later "in case of complications around parental consent".

I have no idea if this was legal, ethical or permitted at the practice.

I do know that going away meekly at 15 still stings - how could that GP turn down a young girl trying to be responsible like that?

As a matter of fact it was 2 years later when I finally did feel comfortable to have sex, but this experience means I think the OP is being VVVVVVVV U.

So it seems interesting that GPs are allowed to enable teenagers to break the law. And courts uphold their right to do so.

It is not illegal to have sex under the age of 16 (or any other age). Age of consent law potentially criminalises the sexual partners of teenagers under the age of 16, not the teenagers themselves.

The Sexual Offences Act 2003 does not criminalise sex between two consenting teenagers aged 13-18, provided one is not in a position of trust with regards to the other (e.g. teacher or carer).

I really can't see how anyone would think it a good thing to refuse to provide contraception to an "underage" person who was sensible enough to ask for it.

Do people think that by GPs saying no, the young person won't go and have sex anyway? Do people think it's better that they risk an unwanted pregnancy?

It is not illegal to have sex under the age of 16 (or any other age). Age of consent law potentially criminalises the sexual partners of teenagers under the age of 16, not the teenagers themselves.

It was badly worded, but the teenager would still be engaging in unlawful activities, even if the "offence" was committed by their (18 +) partner.

If the 15 year old told the GP her prospective partner was 25, would the dr be obliged not to issue contraceptive? I'm guessing the answer is no.

YABVU.

I was on the pill at 14. I was in care and often rooms would get searched for contraband. My pills were found and were taken off me until my mother (who had nothing to do with me) gave her permission for me to have them. She did not give her permission. I was pregnant at 15!

Well what can the law do about 2 similar aged teens having sex.

I would not report my own child to the police for underage sex.