To think that underage girls should need their parents permission to get contraception

[happypiggywiggy]

I think it's crazy that girls under 16 can show up at a family planning clinic or their GP alone and ask to be put on contraception without their parents permission. I'm pretty sure it hasn't always been that way and you needed your parents permission at one point.

My DD is only 10 but it scares me that in just four or five years she will be able to go on the pill without telling me or needing my permission.

I just think that if my teenage DD is going to be using something hormonal like the pill or implant or injection then I'd want to know so I can keep an eye on her and also be on the look out for any bad side effects she may have. Some women have a terrible time with hormonal contraception and I just think that when you're young having someone else keep an eye on you is a good idea iyswim.

This is OP's first post, folks.

Shall we start a book on whether she comes back or not? Or do we think she's just lit the blue touch paper and stepped back?

It's Friday, after all...

Would rather that than they get pregnant underage.

I used to work with teenagers and from what came across in my work, lots are having sex (at relatively young ages - 14, 15) and lots won't dream of telling mum and dad. Better that they have access to condoms and the pill through trusted adults than trying to go without, and ending up with stis and unplanned pregnancies.

I hope I will have a good enough relationship with my daughter that she will tell me if she thinks she will need contraception before 16, but that is up to us, especially me.

If she doesn't feel she can tell me, I'd far rather she'd be able to access it in any case. I think your reliance on medical reasons is a big of a red herring. I dont think DD will somehow have a better idea of family medical background at 16 than 15 or 14 (or even now in our particular circumstances).

There was a very big court case on this 20 years of so ago and the House of Lords disagreed with you so I don't think it will change any time soon. Gillick v west Norfolk and Wisbech health authority, (1986) ER112 House of Lords if you're interested...

But Deal, is she was underage, why would you need to tell her, her med history? Do you see what I mean?

YABVU

I think teenage girls need to be made aware they CAN get contraception without parental permission. My periods started when I was 15 and they were horrendous. Absolutely horrendous. I knew the Pill would help with that, my "DM" (I'm NC with her and have been for 8 years) refused to take me. I moved in with my DDad aged 16 and he was absolutely horrified at how bad my periods were and disgusted that I wasn't on the Pill. Promptly took me to the GP where I was given the Pill and painkillers.

Apparently being on the Pill would give me licence to "be a slag" according to "DM"

My 7 yo is aware of her medical history - partly because she has a mild bleeding disorder. She knows that DH has a lot of medical issues and I have none. If something changes she'll be told, if not she already knows everything she needs to.

The point I'm trying to make, is that she would be entitled to ask history if she was at a legal age and off to get the pill. She may not ask for this info if she is younger. It just makes me laugh that I have to go through all sorts of palaver and questions about which pill because of age, health, smoking etc, yet an underage girl can gain it, who is unlikely to know of any family history.

YABU. I'm glad that we live in a country where contraception is available (and free!) for all women, including those who are underage. Not every parent is as open minded as you may be. Some may just give an outright no regardless of the consequences. Which obviously means their daughter may very well end up pregnant underage. Teenagers aren't going to stop having sex if their parents say no to contraception. They'll just do it anyway, but without protection!

Why don't you just say "hey DD, did you know that there's history of thrombosis in the family? Remember to mention it to the docs if you ever need the pill"

Job done

No-one is going to refight Gillick, especially after complete rejection of Sue Axon's arguments. The result of Axon's ill-judged case was strengthening of the privacy rights of children, not a weakening.

So the OP can either like it or lump it, but it isn't changing.

She should make sure her daughter doesn't feel the need to get contraception in secret. A good way to do that might be to have an open and trusting relationship, rather than thinking the worst of everyone.

The "what about the family medical history?" argument is disingenuous, and is just being advanced in bad faith to imply people need the permission of their parents. Why doesn't the same argument apply at 16, 17, 25? How does this work for people whose mothers/fathers don't know their own family medical history, for people born to sperm or egg donation, for people adopted from troubled families, for people adopted from overseas, for people living in council care?

If you think you've got a medical history your daughter ought to know before she uses hormonal contraception, here's an idea: tell you daughter her medical history before she uses hormonal contraception. I know, I know, it's a mad idea.

If there's a history of thrombosis in your family, I suggest it's sensible to tell your teenage daughter about it in the knowledge that she's likely to seek hormonal contraception at some point. What's the alternative - telling her on her 16th birthday? I would expect that's something you'd drop in at some point.

My mum bought me my first pack of condoms. I was very red and embassed when she gave it to me. I was 18 and off to uni and they sat unused for abit. However my mum had been honest and talked to me and ds about sex from i dont no day 1 as i dont remember any big talk. I was lucky not all kids are...

Well, they’re clearly not asking their parents’ permission to have sex. So the most obvious effect would be to increase the number of underage girls having sex with no contraception at all, or maybe relying on barrier methods. Underage kids relying on barrier methods. That'll work, wont it?

Of course we'd all prefer to know but in the real world, YABU. Sorry.

I haven't told her her medical history because she might want to go on the pill in 8 yesrs time. That would be bizarre! As she has medical issues it's better that's she grows up with them and gradually learns to manage them for herself.

YABU

I very much hope that my children won't have sex under 16.

But, if they do, I would much much much prefer them to be having sex with contraception than without!!

No skaen but you have told her her medical history. So now she knows it. I knew my DM had a thrombosis, she was very open about it in a way she wasn't particularly open about other parts of her medical history - it's only thinking about this thread that has helped me understand why!

The point I'm trying to make, is that she would be entitled to ask history if she was at a legal age and off to get the pill.

What makes you think your daughter isn't entitled to ask you her family medical history before "legal age"? You could tell her at any time, yes?

And back in the real world, how many people have more than the vaguest knowledge of their aunts' and cousins' medical history? How many women, of any age, know the medical history of their father's female relatives, say, in any sort of detail?

If you had been adopted you MIT not know your family medical history but they wouldn't not let you have the pill just cuse you didn't know.

Landrover, what makes you think that people over the age of 16 give perfect medical histories including family background? They don't, every prescription is made on a balance of risk including a judgement as to how accurate the prescriber feels the medical history is and what other information they can access eg GP history, etc

Yabvvvvu and batshit crazy. And I own a 15 yr old dd.

Might..

If underage sex is meant to be illegal why is it OK to give contraceptives to underage girls.

Because people, including underage teenagers, sometimes do things that are illegal.

Yabu.

I'd be gutted of dd couldn't talk to me but I'd hope that if she went to the Dr that she would be given the advice and Contraceptive devices she needed.

Am that a teen wouldn't be aware of her own medical history. Surely if there's anything that would make a difference she should know? Allergies and heart Conditions etc surely they'd be told for school if nothing else?

I just think that if my teenage DD is going to be using something hormonal like the pill or implant or injection then I'd want to know so I can keep an eye on her and also be on the look out for any bad side effects she may have

Hopefully you will manage to maintain the kind of relationship with her where she will tell you if she goes on the pill.

If you don't manage to have that relationship though, would you prefer she deal with the effects of the pill without your knowledge, or that she deal with the effects of pregnancy without your knowledge?