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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send my son to school in his sister's pink raincoat.

130 replies

Oakmaiden · 09/10/2014 08:51

What with the fact he is raining. And has lost his raincoat. And left his school coat at school - again.

I have offended his dignity. WIBU to hope that this will spur him to remember his coat in the future?

OP posts:

LittleMissCrankyPants · 09/10/2014 12:37

What was your daughter wearing if she didn't have her pink rain coat on?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 09/10/2014 12:40

If my son is picked on because he likes things that are classed as stereo-typically girly, then the lesson there is not to make him stop doing those things so he doesn't get teased, it's to give him the right ammunition to reply and reinforce that he is allowed to like what he likes and that only silly, small minded people would be upset if a boy wanted to wear a pink coat.

Delphiniumsblue · 09/10/2014 13:01

As he is 9yrs I would just leave him to solve it and not get involved.

BookABooSue · 09/10/2014 13:12

Ifyourehoppy I don't think anyone would disagree with that but the OP's DS didn't choose to wear a pink coat.It was a punishment for forgetting his own coat which actually reinforces the idea that a boy wearing pink is bad.
I'm still confused why it was the only option when his DSIS seems to be the same size and she wasn't wearing a pink coat.

Sixgeese · 09/10/2014 13:17

Putting DS in his sisters coat wouldn't be a punishment, but I for one can't keep dropping everything to replace coats, we had one notable week last year when he lost both his winter coats, and yes if I hadn't managed to track them down he would have been wearing one of his sisters coats until his replacement arrived.

Floggingmolly · 09/10/2014 13:22

Well, op?? If your dd was wearing a non pink coat; you have completely lost the moral high ground and were obviously doing it to teach him a (not particularly nice) lesson. Or rather, a lesson he needs to learn, in a not very nice way.
Bet you don't come back...

kikisunflower · 09/10/2014 13:23

My 9 year old DS would point blank refuse to wear his DD pink coat, we would use an umbrella in this case. However on that note when mine are slow to bed or getting dressed in the morning I threaten to make them wear each other's clothes to school or their pjs, that seems to spur them on :)

Fizzielove · 09/10/2014 13:37

For those of you who said that you would not have put the pink coat on - what would you have done - let the boy get soaked and then ill!!??

I don't think he'll forget his coat anytime soon! LMAO!! I like your style!

Sweetpea01 · 09/10/2014 13:53

I wouldn't do this purely to punish my DS, that'd just be mean.

My DS is almost 9, he is of the disposition that he definitely would wear a pink coat if I told him to, though he would grumble about it.

I would actually send him in a pink coat if there was no other alternative, better that than him spend the day in wet clothes. But I would just explain the situation and not use it as a lesson to be learned, simply as a needs must.

BikeRunSki · 09/10/2014 13:53

I would have done the same.
Your DS needed a cost because it was raining. Only cost available wad pink. The reason why there were no other coats was your DS's fault.

Pistone · 09/10/2014 13:56

I'd have put a big jumper on over the uniform and a brolly to stop him getting wet. Better than him having to put up with teasing and maybe getting stuck with a nick name. Kids can be very cruel and unforgiving.

Floggingmolly · 09/10/2014 14:09

There must have been another coat or the dd would be the one getting soaked. Unless she just has umpteen pink coats...

MrsCakesPrecognition · 09/10/2014 14:25

Cut a hole in a bin bag and make him wear that. Definitely preferable to the dreaded pink

maninawomansworld · 09/10/2014 14:56

It shouldn't make a difference what colour a coat is, but sadly it does!

If you are looking for a way to make your son a target for the name calling , teasing and bullying , then sending him to school in a pink coat is a really good start.

Perhaps tomorrow send him in make up?

Mean.. just mean.

thereturnofshoesy · 09/10/2014 15:08

yabu
pink has always been a girl's colour.
it is only recently any one has cared, it isn't a nice colour either,
kids can be too nasty, I would never set my son up for that

5madthings · 09/10/2014 15:23

Pink hasn't always been a girl's colour! Go back 100 years and it was a boys colour!

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 09/10/2014 17:11

Erm, I completely didn't think of letting him wear his sister's schoolcoat. Just didn't occur to me. It all happened very organically, you see, it wasn't a "planned" punishment. It went kind of like this:

"Ok children, time to go. Put your coats on please. OK dd, you're done, off you go outside. DS, where is your school coat? At school? How many times... Well, you'll have to wear your raincoat. Get it from the peg. ?IT's not there? Well, where is it? You don't know? Well, you'll have to wear this one then. Yes, I know it is pink, but it is the only one here. Wearing pink won't kill you. Stop scowling and put it on. And please remember to bring your coat back after school. Let's go then, we are running late..."

OP posts:

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 09/10/2014 17:14

I do think, though, that some children are targets for bullies, and no matter what you do bullies will find something to latch onto. And other children just aren't, and can arrive at school wearing dresses (yes, there was a boy in year 6 who did) and be seen as cool.

The problem is rarely what the victim is doing/wearing/saying. The problem is the bully.

OP posts:

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 09/10/2014 17:20

Further update: the irony is, he didn't bring his school coat home today, either. Or his sister's raincoat. So I hope it is not raining tomorrow as well.

He says people did see them, and they laughed at his coat, but then he chucked it in the cloak room, and no-one mentioned it again.

So really not that big a deal after all. Except he still has no coat to wear tomorrow...

OP posts:

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/10/2014 17:26

I think it's totally fine. He wore it on walk to school and then could wear his own once he got there. Much better for him to be warm and dry on the journey. He obviously didn't mind that much.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 09/10/2014 17:26

I would not have put the boy in the pink coat (or any other colour) if it was one his sister liked in case he lost it (which it looks like he did). That punishes her too. I might have resorted to a large bin bag to cover up on the run in to school.....

merrymouse · 09/10/2014 17:27

DH wears pink shirts to work at least 50% of the time.

Can't think how many men I saw wearing pink Fat Face sweatshirts in the 90's.

Apparently pink is pretty standard for men who play golf.

No doubt you will find out how it went today Oakmaiden, but I agree there is more to being a victim of bullying than just wearing your sister's coat in rainstorm to get to school.

BasketzatDawn · 09/10/2014 17:30

I lent DH a pair of my knickers on the last day of holiday as he'd run out of clean kit. I told him I'd never tell anyone. Oh dear ..... I don't think he'd have worn my pink raincoat though.

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 09/10/2014 17:31

It won't be lost. It'll be in the cloakroom. Hopefully. Or in a heap on the playground, covered in slugs...

Ds assures me it is in the cloakroom. And he will bring both home tomorrow.

Or else...

OP posts:

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 09/10/2014 17:31

Basketz -

OP posts:

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