Really annoyed at Someone parking in a Disabled Bay who is definitely not disabled!

[daisychain01]

I'm normally quite a placid person, who goes about her business and doesn't interfere with other people, but Im absolutely fuming.

Im staying at the Travelodge for two nights, last night was my first night, tonight is my second. When I arrived in the carpark yesterday evening, I was walking towards the entrance with my bags when I was nearly run over in the carpark by a woman in a BMW, texting on her phone while driving, trying to find a space.

It stopped me dead in my tracks! Anyway she then proceeds to drive straight into a disabled bay next to the entrance, obviously there to make it more accessible to a blue badge holder.

She got out of her car and I walked up to her. She was still on her phone, yabbering away, but looked at me. I said very politely, "um excuse me, but do you realise you are parked in a disabled bay .." To which she said as bold as brass "yes I know". So I just thought maybe I will cut her some slack, maybe she will check in then move her car.

I mentioned it to the receptionist and she didnt really want to know, because the parking belongs to the Toby Carvery next door. Out of curiosity I nipped out before going to bed and her car was still there, and still there this morning when I left...

...and there when I have just turned up tonight!

If she had said to me last night "yes thanks for letting me know, Im just unloading my heavy bags but I will move my car shortly" I wouldnt be frothing, but the Toby is really full tonight and whats the betting there is some poor person inside who has had to struggle all the way over from the furthest corner of the carpark because of that selfish cow.

The thing is, should I report her now? I just dont know if Its just me being pissed off at her attitude, and a bit up my own arse...im just feeling vengeful, like I want to teach her a lesson. The Toby is open and full of people.

I simply find it interesting that she was driving while on mobile, apparently almost ran you over, but you're focusing all your anger on where she parked, even 24 hours later.

You had no business asking her that question when you didn't even know if she had a blue badge displayed - you asked her that because you assumed that she wasn't disabled based on her behaviour and your perception that she was able-bodied. You made a judgement based on your own assumptions and bias, rather than on facts.

You still don't get it, do you....

I am not a policewoman or a traffic warden.

You are also not the "official blue badge monitor".. although if you were, you'd at least then know to bloody well LOOK for the badge before you pester someone. I wouldn't want people coming up to me asking me if I was disabled if they see me out with my ds, who IS disabled but it is really only more obvious on the days that he needs to use his wheelchair.

Hey OP, I have to admit, I parked in disabled parking a few times without a BB. I was undergoing chemo and had severe bone pain at the time. Parking attendants were fine with it.

Not sure that you would have recognised the pain I was in by just looking at me.
But if you made same remark to me, I'd just have told you I was chemo patient...(and expected to have been let off the hook).

I only did this about 3 or 4 times.
But normally wouldn't dream of parking in disabled spots.

There are times when you should question a blue badge, but never the person with it directly.
DH worked for the council. Every Thursday he'd see a mini pull up on double yellows outside the council offices and two very obvious students would walk into the uni building opposite. This went on for a few weeks. Finally as he passed the car on his way in he had a look and saw the issuing council was well over a hundred miles away so he mentioned it to the blue badge department.
As the car was helpfully right outside they went down and checked it out and found it was registered to a rather elderly lady and not the two students using it.

If you feel fraud is being committed take the details of the badge and the car it's in and speak to your local council but please don't confront what is possibly a genuine user and please have some very reasonable doubt beyond 'well they looked ok' before you do.

My mum has cold urticaria, she is allergic to cold temperatures. When in cold or windy weather her skin welts and she can go into sudden severe anaphylactic shock, causing many emergency trips to hospital over the past few years. She is pretty much housebound for the winter months, or she can wrap up very warm clothing and run from car to shops etc. People have seen her park and then run and she's had some awful comments.

Sorry, that was to Cadmium

SistersOfPercy and other pps as well, I should not have asked her the question in the first place. We live and learn.

We certainly do OP

At least you know that now.

I can see you had good intentions at heart, but you went about it the wrong way.

A lesson learned I'm sure. I guess next time just (discreetly) check for the badge and report to reception if it's not being displayed.

You're right to get annoyed at people texting and parking in disabled bays when they shouldn't. No one is questioning that, so YANBU in that respect. Just be aware that it may be upsetting for the person to be called out on it yet again, when they have every right.

It was big of you to come back and change your mind.

I am sick of people taking a look at my mum, a young looking woman at 46 driving a convertible and actually throwing abuse at her in the street for parking in a disabled space.

At one point she stood in the middle of a busy town arguing with an old man calling her a disgrace, until she literally lifted her top up to her bra strap to display to everyone who was watching the wee drama her scar from her surgery and metal rods on her back. She did have her badge displayed but the elderly guy asked "is that even yours. I mean you don't even look disabled".

Let's not judge people.

If someone uses a BB space, they should display their BB.

If they don't display their BB or don't have one, there's usually a sign nearby stating that car park owner's or other company's penalties for doing so.

There is never anyone as offended as someone offended on someone else's behalf is there.

You didn't need the space and she didn't run you over.

I used to instantly think that anyone who didn't limp or have a wheelchair or a stick wasn't meant to be in one of those spaces until I was struck with a horrible invisible disability. I would have said 'yes I know' as well as I wouldn't feel the need to explain my medical history to a stranger on a car park.

Ludways Thanks for telling me about your Mum, that sounds a very difficult condition to cope with.

And a good example of an invisible disability that very few people will be aware of.

She didn't have a badge though, so she shouldnt have parked there.

Definitely think about invisibile disabilities next time and check for a badge before assuming someone isn't disabled because of how they look.

But your heart was in right place :)

And yes my DD has a blue badge and is tall and mobile.

Mil needs a bb but refuses to get one (dont ask long story). So in a private car park in waitrose she parks in the bb spaces i jump out, get the trolley so she can use it to walk with. She can just about walk holding onto the trolley from the bb space as theres seat near the cheese counter she aims for and one near the coffee counter. But if you looked in the car there no bb badge. Any ideas how i can get my strong willed mil to get a bb is welcome as this situation cant go on for any longer. Agree with others there are alot of hidden disablities. I do home visits for the nhs and we only visut someone if they housebound. I remember one lady rushing to open the door when i arrived and i was thinking of bringing her back into clinic but she then spent the next 20 mins on oxygen as that small walk to the door was too much.

My mum has a BB she only uses those spaces on days when she really needs them. An old man who stunk of smoke and had an oxygen tank had a right go at her from the disabled bay next to hers one day, ranting about how these spaces aren't for the likes of her and that she should have more respect!

She shoved her BB in his face, told him that not all disabilities were visible and that hers weren't self inflicted unlike his so perhaps he should apologise? He never did just continued to glare at her and rant, such a nasty old man :-(

She had no idea whether his disability was self inflicted.

He shouldn't have done that but two wrongs don't make a right.

Londonrach. Sympathies, that sounds a hard situation.

She shouldn't be parking there without one so if she still does she probably won't see need to get one.

Perhaps enforcing the rule might give her a push? Harsh I know. I know about stubborn elderly relatives.

Gawd, sounds like disabled spaces are free for all because no one will challenge you as they will assume you have disabilities which mean you forget to put your badge up, you look fine but probably have disabilities, you are disabled but don't want to get a DB etc!!

wayward

"that hers weren't self inflicted unlike his"

How rude!!!

I don't know. I think you should have definitely checked if she has a blue badge first. DS has a blue badge and has absolutely no mobility problems at all. He can scale a tree without even using the branches.

But he is.... In their terms not mine "severely mentally impaired"

It really grinds my gears when people pass comment without even checking for a badge.

I know one of my friends who has a child with autism once got out of the car, blue badge at the ready and shoved it right up to someone's face going "see, can you see now? Did you even look"

She was mortified by her actions but she just snapped. It's hard enough work caring for someone 24/7 without people commenting who can't even be bothered to check first.

It's not up to the public to police the Blue badge scheme. that's the job of traffic wardens and the police.

Ok maybe his weren't self inflicted but

He stunk of fags
His fingers were stained from excessive smoking
His teeth were stained from smoking

The only people I've ever seen to be like him and need an oxygen tank were chain smokers so kinda self inflicted. And even if the need for his tank wasn't directly related to his fags they certainly wouldn't help...

Either way he was a nasty aggressive man who tried to bully my poor mum (and did so in front of her dc) so whether he was disabled or not doesn't really matter nor how he came to be, his attitude is what stuck with me. Yes he had a right to park there but so did my mum, she shouldn't have had to show him her badge to get him to stop shouting abuse at her, and even that didn't fully stop him

Non BB holders and BB holders with obvious disabilities constantly gang up on BB holders with invisible disabilities. People like my mum should not have to explain to some buddy body esp the aggressive ones why they are parking in a space they have every right to use! Nor should they be subjected to suspicious glances from people trying to work out if they are disabled or not!

*busy not buddy

Fanjo its awful. She can barely walk. My dm had a bbfor one year following her breaking her leg after having breast cancer and it made life so easy although why they put some bb places on hills with getting a wheelchair out i dont know. As for mil if she having a good day she parks in normal spaces and uses her stick to get to the trolley. On bad days she parks in bb spaces as its closer. She has a paper bb given to her by man in waitrose (he say her stuggling about a year ago alone trying to get to the trolley and ordered her to park in the bb spaces from now on and since then she has) which she can put out but she refuses as im not disabled and i dont need a bb just need the trolley to rest on could you get it please. She then hobbles around the shop to the seats. Cant understand why she cant apply for one as make her life alot easier... Ive tried tough love, pleading everything... What else can you do. Have booked gp appts but they get cancelled. Fil tried marching her in once.