Really annoyed at Someone parking in a Disabled Bay who is definitely not disabled!

[daisychain01]

I'm normally quite a placid person, who goes about her business and doesn't interfere with other people, but Im absolutely fuming.

Im staying at the Travelodge for two nights, last night was my first night, tonight is my second. When I arrived in the carpark yesterday evening, I was walking towards the entrance with my bags when I was nearly run over in the carpark by a woman in a BMW, texting on her phone while driving, trying to find a space.

It stopped me dead in my tracks! Anyway she then proceeds to drive straight into a disabled bay next to the entrance, obviously there to make it more accessible to a blue badge holder.

She got out of her car and I walked up to her. She was still on her phone, yabbering away, but looked at me. I said very politely, "um excuse me, but do you realise you are parked in a disabled bay .." To which she said as bold as brass "yes I know". So I just thought maybe I will cut her some slack, maybe she will check in then move her car.

I mentioned it to the receptionist and she didnt really want to know, because the parking belongs to the Toby Carvery next door. Out of curiosity I nipped out before going to bed and her car was still there, and still there this morning when I left...

...and there when I have just turned up tonight!

If she had said to me last night "yes thanks for letting me know, Im just unloading my heavy bags but I will move my car shortly" I wouldnt be frothing, but the Toby is really full tonight and whats the betting there is some poor person inside who has had to struggle all the way over from the furthest corner of the carpark because of that selfish cow.

The thing is, should I report her now? I just dont know if Its just me being pissed off at her attitude, and a bit up my own arse...im just feeling vengeful, like I want to teach her a lesson. The Toby is open and full of people.

Why are you allowing this to make you so stressed? It has absolutely nothing to do with you

^This

It's almost as though the OP has been casting round for what would make a good, response-rich AIBU, saw this happen and thought "Perfect!"

Interesting post, Liverpool, I think you are probably right.

I've never been challenged on my BB. Perhaps I look more disabled than I think. I'm blind though, so possibly I just don't notice !

So - do you legally have to display your BB in a 'Travelodge next to a Toby Carvery' or not? This is the crux surely?

I'm wondering if it's the case that you do not, the woman knows this, forgot or never intended to put up her badge and then when OP pissed her off she thought ''bugger it i'll not put up my badge, let her run around reporting me ...''.

(if i had a BB i would always use it. i'd hate people thinking i was a c*nt, even in ignorance).

If the car park is not a public car park or highway then BB are meaningless.

But so too are disabled spaces. I could paint a disabled space on my driveway- it doesn't make it one though.

Private car parks can (and do) enforce T&Cs over the use of spaces marked for blue-badge holders. Certainly Sainsburys, where they have attendants patrolling the car park, and photographing cars breaking T&Cs. Not just BB abusers, but people who don't park within bays, and people who overstay (our nearest Sainsburys has a funky display which flashes up your number plate, and the time you have to leave).

A few months ago (when it was really hot) I was just entering the store when an open topped sports car (everyone heard it coming) roared into the car park, and managed to park sideways across two BB bays, and then jump out over the door before sauntering off to the cash point. Two parking attendants almost fought over taking a photograph ... at one point I thought they were going to get a round of applause.

Of course it seems the advice from most people would be to ignore the charge

lurking they may try to issue fines ( which are actually invoices) but the are not legally enforcable.
If you ignore the ticket then they are powerless to persue it.

combust22 - that's why I said "charge" .

I find it significant that newer premises are explicitly reading number plates upon entry, leads to all sort of interesting possibilities ....

I have happily ignored a number of these "fines" over the years with no comeback.

Citizens Advice Guide:

The blue badge scheme does not apply on private roads, private car parks, in off street car parks and in some airports. There may be some parking spaces for disabled people in these areas and they will either be subject to the conditions imposed by the parking operator or be designated by law, with signs and markings that make this clear.

So it's a bit wooly then. ''The blue badge scheme does not apply in private car parks'' - but might be subject to terms and conditions and there will be signs up in the car park if it's enforcable. But what are they enforcing if the blue badge scheme doesn't apply?

I'm surprised actually - i thought all disabled parking bays were protected by law and treated them as such. I will continue to treat them as such.

I think you have to be a very special sort of ignorant twat to park in a disabled space without genuine need regardless of whether it is on private land or not.

I don't think anyone disagrees with you.

It's whether someone like the OP has the right to apply mob rule and question the entitlement.

I often park in disabled places on private land without displaying a BB.

My disabled mother is very embarrassed about the fact she needs a BB at all and if it's not necessary to display one ( like a Toby restaurant) then she won't.

I think the OP may have slightly diluted her argument by not being able to say whether the lady in question actually had a BB.

This thread has been interesting for me, in that I'm now aware of grey areas I didn't previously know about.

But in terms of it not being anyone else's business, I can't help but think that if no-one got offended on behalf of another, then we'd all turn into bystanders. Isn't it a good human quality to want to protect the rights of those "less able" than ourselves? (Excuse the term, you know what I mean). If we never felt like standing up for each other, especially for people we don't know, wouldn't we be poorer as a society? It is difficult, in my view, to fault someone who clearly had good intentions. Even though the road to hell is apparently paved with them.

I've been challenged several times about parking in disabled bays including the most memorable time of a woman banging on my car window and demanding I move as her husband needs to parking spot and "your clearly not disabled just young and disrespectful" she didn't entirely know what to do when I opened the car door to get my crutches out with my full leg brace on though did demand to see if it was really my badge (seriously who is going to go to that much trouble to get a parking space?!) which I happily showed her and then off she went muttering about the young with no respect (I was early 20's at this point)

It can be devastating when people come over and shout at you demanding proof of disability and like Liverpool Lou said it's never done in a calm way, it's very embarrassing.

I never knew about the disabled bay on private land though, very occasionally I've forgotten my badge when switching cars but when this has happened I've never parked in a space without a badge no matter how much extra pain it's caused me I see it as no badge no parking in the space (though this thread has educated me that in some circumstances that doesn't count)

I am often with my mother who has a BB, and no longer drives and have had the old "you're not disabled" stuff - my response is always "no, you're absolutely right, but my mother is" and they generally go quiet when she hauls herself out of the car and wobbles along on her sticks.

So where do you balance the rights of those you are "protecting" when the person you are confronting is quite possibly also one of those that you are protecting? Why do the "group" rights trump my individual rights to use the spot without harassment or confrontation if I have a BB as well?

If standing up for others means you are, in effect, then trampling all over the rights of someone else, then I think you need to find another approach.

Such as... perhaps... looking for a BB and if one is not displayed, then simply reporting the vehicle appropriately WITHOUT confronting the driver...

As has been suggested NUMEROUS times...

Good intentions?? Really, though? How can they have good intentions when they're not even CONSIDERING the person they are confronting? When they're not even CONSIDERING the stress and the upset they may cause if this person has an invisible disability?

I think people like to hide their aggressive behaviour behind the mantle of "I'm being noble - I'm standing up for people" without even thinking that they are in effect harassing or possibly upsetting one of the very people that they are vowing to stand up for. A tad ironic, IMO. And sad.

They shouldn't need to see sticks wheelchairs and leg braces to back off.

They should just give benefit of doubt if someone has a badge.

I can see your point DaddyBear but in my experience (20 years of being challenged about being disabled) people who take it upon themselves to police disabled facilities don't do it for altruistic reasons, they do it because they're angry that someone is possibly getting something they're not.

www.facebook.com/wantmyspacetakemydisability?ref=bookmarks

Link to campaign to get private accessible spaces made legally enforcable.

The lady did not display a BB, the OP was right to report her.

If you have a BB - display it or come across as a selfish dickhead taking up a space reserved for those with disabilities.

What is so difficult about that?

Disabled bays are for people who are disabled and have a blue badge.

If you do not display a blue badge, you should not be in a disabled bay.

I had to struggle all the way down a busy road with my very disabled friend last week, because two idiots had parked in the only disabled spot.

I politely pointed out to them that they had forgotten to display their blue badge, they informed me that as it was Sunday, they were perfectly entitled to park there as it was "free for everyone".

They then sat and watched me helping my poor friend to shuffle painfully and slowly to my car.

This sort of thing makes me so cross. People need those spaces and it is very selfish to park in them IF you do not have a blue badge.

And yes - I am very angry that those two selfish young men were getting something that I was not - a bit of help and dignity for my friend.

There are a few disability bays at my gym. They are abused continually. Of
course it'a true, that car full of lads with music blaring from their parents bmw who screeched to a halt then got out laughing and high fiving may well have a hidden disability and be ashamed to show their blue badge.

Same could apply to the lady who kicks my arse in body attack each week and works as a PE teacher.

I cant prove they don't have a hidden disability which means they need a priority bay near the gym door.

But I have my own private suspicions they are simply selfish bellends and the reason why the gym is plastered in signs exhorting members please to show awareness of the disability bays.

Out of all the places we go and can't get a place, gyms are the worst for some reason.

People clearly can't walk to their workout.

A space I mean, not a place