Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

unwanted houseguests

654 replies

Cuppachaplz · 07/10/2014 15:08

I know that I am probably going to get slated here, but...

About 3 weeks ago, a friend of mine who is semi-retired and lives abroad for the summer, but returns to the UK in the winter to work, messaged me out of the blue to ask if he and his girlfriend could stay for a couple of days at the end of October while the found somewhere to live as he had secured a job close to me and his daughter who he normally stays with in the winter was planning to get lodgers. I am 28 weeks pregnant (or possibly more depending on which scan you believe), having a horrendous pregnancy with a past history of recurrent miscarriage, and working (writing) from home. He is aware of all this, and said it would be 'just a week, two at the absolute most'. I also explained that i had a house full the last week in October (half term, and planning to see as many friends as possible before arrival of baby), and that I am trying to get the house sorted for the baby in addition to an important work deadline in November, but that a few days was fine.

We don't have a lot of space, so they would be on the sofa be on the dining room. Spare room is tiny, and currently waiting for us to decorate for baby, so no good for 2 people even for a couple of days.

I got a call 9 days ago, saying that he was arriving 2 days later, i.e. a month earlier than stated. I was a bit put out, as I had already explained how much i had to get done, but figured I could crack on after the 'few days'.

He rang again the night before saying he assumed that someone would be in all day. Generally no, as we all work, and too late to get time off, but as I am working from home atm, I could be in. Was just irritated that this was assumed, as normally would be a no, and I have had hospital appts at least twice weekly for the last few weeks.

He arrived with a hire car rammed full of tons of stuff, which he proceeded to dump in our garage (my husband's workshop etc), and my dining room. I have had to fold up and move the dining room table, so we all have to eat off the breakfast bar in the kitchen, with my husband and I standing up. He then moaned that I didn't have a car available as he wanted to take his hire car back and have me give him a lift home. I have never owned a car, and drive very infrequently, so odd request. I asked how he was planning to get to work, to find out that the job had fallen through.

Initially he asked if I wanted them to get any shopping, or do anything. As I had just done a full shop, I suggested that if he wanted to, he could maybe get us a takeaway at the weekend instead, as I felt like crap, and had spent the whole day driving him around looking for things. This got me an earful as he claimed to have no money (why offer to buy groceries then? I wasn't suggesting anything elaborate), so I went to bed early and showed him where I keep leftovers on the freezer, while Dh finished jobs in the kitchen. They got said takeaway anyway and then proceeded to put hot contained directly on top of raw meat in the fridge.

I am massively overheating atm, so had asked if windows could be left open to stop the house turning into a sweatbox. This was ignored, and he now walks around behind me shutting them.

He now has a job, but announced yesterday that it will take 'several weeks' to save any deposit for a house...

He has also asked me if he can claim housing benefits at this address, I suspect totally illegally.

When they are in, I cannot work as TV on v loud, and with them in the dining room and sat watching this in living room, is no space left, so I spend my time upstairs.

I am now thoroughly miserable, spending most days half crying, and can't see a way out. I am 29 weeks pregnant, so appreciate that i am being hormonal and may be over-reacting, and probably only have myself to blame, but I am also desperate to get organised before the baby arrives, and can't believe they would take advantage of me like this.

Sorry for very long, whining post, but unsure how to proceed now.

And now, let the 'you've made your bed...' - bashing commence

TIA

OP posts:
puntasticusername · 08/10/2014 20:47

COME ON OP

yellowdinosauragain · 08/10/2014 20:53

Ffs cut the op some slack. She only posted for the first time at 3 pm yesterday. How some of you can conclude she's doing fuck all simply because she didn't chuck them out to your own timetable is beyond me. Remember it's easy to do the right thing from behind a keyboard. Trying to throw difficult people out, who used to be friends, while worrying about a high risk pregnancy, is another matter altogether.

They are freeloading cunts who need to get out for sure. But there is no need to slag the op off because she's taken a few hours longer than you might have.

Op, hope you're in the process of chucking them out or that if you're not you're genuinely happy with the outcome.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 08/10/2014 20:53

Really hope you've been able to sort this out. So e folk have a brass neck.

Zucker · 08/10/2014 20:53

FWIW i reckon the OP has dangled them both out the bedroom window by their ankles and told them what's happening. With the sense drizzled into their brains the "lodgers" immediately saw sense and have left.

Any chance of a webcam to watch the action op?? nosey old git

goshhhhhh · 08/10/2014 20:54

That's a bit unfair given she planned to speak to them & they went off & she is having a tricky pregnancy. I'm sure she & her dh are sorting them out.

rumbleinthrjungle · 08/10/2014 20:57

Thinking of you OP and hoping you're keeping yourself as relaxed as possible under the circumstances Brew

You will have really earned a very, very relaxing weekend.

sykadelic · 08/10/2014 21:05

Thinking of you OP. Hope it's all gone okay!

HerVagesty · 08/10/2014 21:10

I hope everything goes OK op... been watching in earnest!

MexicanSpringtime · 08/10/2014 21:21

Thinking of you OP and hoping you're keeping yourself as relaxed as possible under the circumstances
This

At least you don't have to worry about saving the friendship, who would want these users as friends?

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 08/10/2014 21:21

I haven't completely rtft but I wonder if there was some significance in the daughter not being able o put them up? as she knows what a pair of free loading arses they are. I hope OP is ok. She sounds a lovely kind woman (more patience than I would) who has been taken advantage of by a pair of twats.

Selinemaratima · 08/10/2014 22:09

Op please let us know what's going on Hun, are you ok? Sending you soo much support, surely you're allowed 1/2 Wine Christ you deserve it xxxx

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 08/10/2014 22:12
Selinemaratima · 08/10/2014 22:13

Ps yy to yellowsinosaur well said, seriously- Don't bitch at the OP it's her bloody thread! Give her a break!

Iwouldratherbemuckingout · 08/10/2014 22:13

I really cant take the suspense. OP - they are just dreadful, and really hope for a positive update that you've got your home back

tiredvommachine · 08/10/2014 22:20

Hope all is well for you OP X

TurquoiseCat · 08/10/2014 22:22

Please say you've managed to get them out? and I am not place marking, oh no not me!

trufflesnout · 08/10/2014 22:27

Fingers crossed they've sodded off now OP.

littledrummergirl · 08/10/2014 22:30

Hope your ok op.Flowers

guinnessgirl · 08/10/2014 22:40

Just caught up on this thread. WTAF? my response to them would definitely be GET OUT. Out. Get out. out out out. OP, I really hope you've got shot of them tonight x

Sabrinnnnnnnna · 08/10/2014 22:45

OP was expecting a flaming in her OP - but not because she hadn't got rid of them in a timescale determined my Mners... Give her a chance.

OnlyTheWelshCanCwtch · 08/10/2014 22:56

Another one hoping all is ok

GetTheRedOut · 08/10/2014 22:58

Shocked at some of the nasty comments towards the OP for not acting as swiftly as MNers consider adequate. She is stressed out enough, she does not need grief on here too. I'm sure she and her DH are dealing with it as quickly as they can, she started the thread YESTERDAY ffs!

Cabbagesandcustard · 08/10/2014 22:59

Good lord - what an epic! Wont be able to sleep tonight having read all this. Hope you've had the talk by now and things are clearer.

Cuppachaplz · 08/10/2014 23:04

Thanks for support, especially those sticking up for my not having done anything yet. Initially was only asking AIBU for being pissed off, intolerant, and wanting to kick them out before the 'up to 2 weeks' I had initially said, and that was only yesterday!

Had a chat tonight, as he leaves for work at same time as DH, they will both go then and hand DH keys back at this time. Asked if they can leave stuff in garage until weekend which is fine by me. If they can't find anywhere, will head back to family oop north whilst saving deposit.

DH will take morning off if for any reason they font get up and go. I have locks at the ready, and DS was asleep before this quite reasonable discussion.

Finally breathing a sigh of relief and hoping that this is it, but if not, fully prepared to call police in the morning...

OP posts:
Corabell · 08/10/2014 23:07

Thank goodness! I hope a weight is lifting off of your shoulders

Swipe left for the next trending thread