Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

About the rape scene in Eastenders.

156 replies

Bambambini · 07/10/2014 10:48

They are discussing it on Mathew Wright and some viewers have phoned in to say they weren't happy to have viewed it with the questions it raised as they were watching it with their 4 and 7 yr olds.

I know it was before the watershed but I'm surprised folk let their young children watch this show. So they are offended with the rape and having to deal with their young kids questions but have no problem with their kids watching all the other unpleasant stuff that goes on in these shows?

OP posts:
Chattymummyhere · 07/10/2014 13:21

I watched it by accident haven't seen it for years no idea there was going to be a rape scene Infact before it how he looked at her I said to dh he want to have sex with her.

I think EE needs to be moved to later on, I freeze the tv when I watch shows I expect certain things on when I hear te kids coming down but since it's been so long I would never of thought to freeze EE.

Interested how they play this out now though

wishingwontwork · 07/10/2014 13:23

I thought it was very well done, and highlights that ladies (and men) are more often raped by people closer to home - it's not all back alleys in the dark by strangers. I don't watch Eastenders when my 9.11 year old is up as I generally find it too dark and depressing for his viewing IMO. I would have switched it over if he had been around.

Writerwannabe83 · 07/10/2014 13:27

I found the whole thing really upsetting to watch and I think her freezing was probably a very common reaction. As she entered the kitchen she smiled as she heard the children downstairs ram up the volume on the juke box and I think the reason for that scene was to highlight that even if she had screamed nobody would have heard her anyway Sad

I really did think she would tell Mick though as soon as he came home.

As another poster said maybe the show could have used this storyline as a way of encouraging people to speak out I.e as opposed to scrubbing herself clean and keeping it a secret maybe they could have shown her telling Mick and them going straight to the Police and put in place a storyline of Dean being arrested. Instead they portrayed rape as being something that shouldn't be talked about, that the woman should feel ashamed and dirty about, that maybe she is in some way to blame (even though she isn't) and that the man can just get away with it.

I understand they make the show as realistic as possible but at the same time they should think what messages they are putting across.

Writerwannabe83 · 07/10/2014 13:27

I found the whole thing really upsetting to watch and I think her freezing was probably a very common reaction. As she entered the kitchen she smiled as she heard the children downstairs ram up the volume on the juke box and I think the reason for that scene was to highlight that even if she had screamed nobody would have heard her anyway Sad

I really did think she would tell Mick though as soon as he came home.

As another poster said maybe the show could have used this storyline as a way of encouraging people to speak out I.e as opposed to scrubbing herself clean and keeping it a secret maybe they could have shown her telling Mick and them going straight to the Police and put in place a storyline of Dean being arrested. Instead they portrayed rape as being something that shouldn't be talked about, that the woman should feel ashamed and dirty about, that maybe she is in some way to blame (even though she isn't) and that the man can just get away with it.

I understand they make the show as realistic as possible but at the same time they should think what messages they are putting across.

Damnautocorrect · 07/10/2014 13:34

I didn't think it did show rape shouldn't be reported, I think it showed the sheer disbelief of what has happened to yourself. It took me years to acknowledge it, it took my friends a long time as well.
You grow up with a view that rape is a stranger in an ally, not your home with someone you know and like. It can be difficult correlating the two.
I'm sad to hear it will be a long story line, presumably mick will pull dean into the 'family' pushing Linda away.

LayMeDown · 07/10/2014 13:35

Extract of an interview with the actress involved in this scene. Looks like this was a well reserched and deliberate decision to have her freeze.

The storyline is very different to one where a character is raped in a dark alleyway, isn't it?
"We have worked very closely with Rape Crisis and personally that was very important to me. I learned an awful lot that I didn't know before. One of the things that I felt very strongly about after speaking to Fiona, who I was working with at Rape Crisis, was that people have a perception of what happens to you in a rape. If it is not violent and the woman is not beaten and covered in bruises, then why not? Women in those circumstances are expected to fight back and actually I think these are all the questions that Linda has going round her head in the aftermath.

"Actually, I think what happens is a very physiological response and your body shuts down. What it does is try and protect you - a bit like a spider drawing itself into a tiny little ball to protect itself - your body does what it needs to do so you don't get hurt in that moment. For a lot of women they feel betrayed by their bodies and they don't understand why they don't fight back or shout out, or why their body literally goes limp and lets it happen.

moraf2 · 07/10/2014 13:37

I am so glad that this discussion is taking place. I have only just picked up the thread. I had to try to explain to my 12 year old at bed time what had happened

ElephantsNeverForgive · 07/10/2014 13:37

Yes, but going for posters who are wrong too hard, scares other people who need educating from the debate.

Highway65 · 07/10/2014 13:38

Yes, what Writer just said.

I was thinking about it way too emotionally I think. But the message it put across to me was my biggest problem with it.

TwllBach · 07/10/2014 13:45

I thought it was done really well. I think the actress playing Linda did a really good job - you saw the initial disbelief and her trying to shrug him off and then she did struggle, as he lifted her off her feet. He was physically bigger and stronger and more powerful than her and maybe in the back of her mind she knew her husband wasn't there to help her.

Having read a few survivors accounts, and having been in a rape situation myself, I know that many women, myself included, have a "he's going to kill me" reaction. When I thought that, I stopped fighting. Maybe that, coupled with the shock and the fear and the disbelief and the confusion is what contributed to Linda not kicking or biting or screaming.

I also appreciate that EE have portrayed Dean doing it the way he did - in a moment of turmoil and angst. I think that it shows that, again, rape isn't committed by violent strangers at night in an alley. I hope to God though that he gets caught and punished - rape is rape is rape, regardless of when or why or how.

Sunnymeg · 07/10/2014 13:54

A friend of mine was raped by a complete stranger when she was 19. He was a client of her bosses and she was a junior in the firm, she was left alone in a room with him and he attacked her. It happened in the early afternoon. She said it was almost like an out of body experience and her brain couldn't connect what was happening to her, so she couldn't fight back.. She got pregnant as a result of the attack as well. She ended up being sectioned six years after it happened and has had a terrible life since. The perpetrator was arrested and sent to prison, apparently he had done it before.

PiperIsOrange · 07/10/2014 14:03

I think rape with some one you know must be very difficult to report.

You could lose your home, friends and family because no way could uncle bob do that.

Writerwannabe83 · 07/10/2014 14:07

I can absolutely understand why women wouldn't fight back, I can't even imagine how fearful they must feel. I can completely see why women might think "he's going to kill me" and as a result would just freeze and hope if they keep still and not put up a fight it will be over quicker and she won't be killed Sad I think Linda portrayed the shock and disbelief well.

I will be interested to see how it plays out in terms of Mick as their relationship is so close and loving, and they always seem to be having sex, so I will find it really unbelievable if they write him as not acknowledging that something very serious has happened to her.

Writerwannabe83 · 07/10/2014 14:07

I can absolutely understand why women wouldn't fight back, I can't even imagine how fearful they must feel. I can completely see why women might think "he's going to kill me" and as a result would just freeze and hope if they keep still and not put up a fight it will be over quicker and she won't be killed Sad I think Linda portrayed the shock and disbelief well.

I will be interested to see how it plays out in terms of Mick as their relationship is so close and loving, and they always seem to be having sex, so I will find it really unbelievable if they write him as not acknowledging that something very serious has happened to her.

Sallystyle · 07/10/2014 14:08

This storyline is going to last until Xmas when there will be the big reveal to Mick.

I believe she tells one person before that.

I would have liked for Mick to have been told straight away, but I think they are trying to show how many rapists don't get convicted and walk away free.

WellnowImFucked · 07/10/2014 14:12

Writer: Instead they portrayed rape as being something that shouldn't be talked about, that the woman should feel ashamed and dirty about, that maybe she is in some way to blame (even though she isn't) and that the man can just get away with it.

I know what you're saying, but I think if they had done that many of us would have pointed out that this is not the norm, it would be good (if you know what I mean)if that was the norm. Hopefully they will take all of this is in to account with the story line.

As TwllBack said it was the look of shock on her face; the disbelief that she wasn't safe in her own kitchen.

Her actions were very common and hopefully will get through to some people. Just nudge them out of their comfort zone and make them think.

No-one seeing it could really argue that it was a case of 'He said/She said' but imagine it being reported in a paper.

They were alone together, they were drinking, she made sure the kids couldn't hear, her daughter had expressed concern earlier and she'd dismissed it etc etc, can you imagine the comments on it? How in a court case she'd be cross examined. .

And people don't want to believe that someone you know could be capable of rape, so it must be a misunderstanding. For some it seems to be easier to think that the woman is lying rather than acknowledging that they didn't see the truth.

TwllBach · 07/10/2014 14:13

I wondered why she didn't tell Mick, they are so close... But then I wonder if it is the disconnect as a result of the shock? She is super protective of her family isn't she, would she have been thinking about Mick losing it with Dean and maybe going to prison, Nancy not believing her because she knows about the kiss, Mick not believing her because of Nancy telling him about the kiss... And then there'll be the self-blame as well, "I shouldn't have hugged him, I knew he liked me I shouldn't have been alone with him..." Anything to distract herself from thinking about what actually happened.

PepsiTwirl · 07/10/2014 14:13

Surely a 4 and 7 year old would not realise what had happened!?!?!?!

Writerwannabe83 · 07/10/2014 14:14

I hope it doesn't ruin their relationship as I can see Mick blaming himself as he asked Linda to take care of Dean whilst he went to find Shirley.

I wonder what Shirley's reaction will be when it all comes out?

I also wonder how Nancy will react seeing as she knows about Linda and Dean's kiss a few months ago. She seems too nice to wrongly victim-blame but who knows what the script writers have in store.

Mintyy · 07/10/2014 14:18

Eastenders should be broadcast after the watershed and it really really annoys me that it isn't.

PepsiTwirl · 07/10/2014 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Itsfab · 07/10/2014 14:22

I watched it but was on here as well as I knew it was coming and didn't want to see it. I had seen enough uncomfortable scenes prior and no one needs to see a rape scene to know it has happened. I broke the habit of a life time and read every episode for this week to see what is coming.

4 and 7 year old should not be watching Eastenders. In my house bed time at that age is 7pm and even with my youngest being nine he goes up at just before 7pm.

My children don't watch any soaps.

jammytoast · 07/10/2014 14:24

It is really frustrating to watch TV programmes when a character should tell someone, but they don't. But that in itself is a normal reaction too. Victims of rape blame themselves, hate themselves, punish themselves. Why would Linda be any different? Strong, confident women get raped and they react the same.

I hope we see her down the line getting support and finding the strength to deal with this, but in that initial aftermath, she cannot believe what has just happened to her, how could she even get the words out to Mick? Saying it aloud, coping with his reaction, would make it all too real.

And also, she has just had her control taken away by Dean, she is probably scared that if she tells Mick everything will snowball and she will lose control again. It will be taken out of her hands.

I think the most important message for them to get across should be that every reaction is normal. Every feeling a victim has is OK.

Highway65 · 07/10/2014 14:27

Do I have to say this again!! To the unknowing, that is what it looked like!

I have been educated today by MN because apparently 'freezing' is very common in these situations. I KNOW she didn't bend over and let it happen Hmm

Also read that EE did loads of research on this with Rape Crisis. Hopefully plenty of folks can learn a bit more about this. It can be a grey area and more people need enlightening. Including me Grin

Original poster
Bambambini · 07/10/2014 14:27

You can see why so many women don't report in cases like this. Her word against his. The thought of people you knows reactions, reporting it to police and trying to get a conviction - would all be terrifying.

Many young people seem to think this is just "regret" rape. The women changing her mind if not a full out malicious false accusation. That's why this type of rape needs to be shown and discussed. I have a 12 yr old son, I haven't really spoke of rape yet. We don't watch EE but as uncomfortable as it would be to watch with him - it would possibly be a good place to start and have the conversation.

OP posts: