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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

About the rape scene in Eastenders.

156 replies

Bambambini · 07/10/2014 10:48

They are discussing it on Mathew Wright and some viewers have phoned in to say they weren't happy to have viewed it with the questions it raised as they were watching it with their 4 and 7 yr olds.

I know it was before the watershed but I'm surprised folk let their young children watch this show. So they are offended with the rape and having to deal with their young kids questions but have no problem with their kids watching all the other unpleasant stuff that goes on in these shows?

OP posts:
PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 07/10/2014 11:32

The fact that so many people will agree with you is exactly why you (and they) need to be better educated on the subject. Which is exactly why EE was right to portray the rape the way they did.

iseedeadpeople · 07/10/2014 11:33

I didn't want to see that at 8 0 clock. Or anytime really.

MrsRonBurgundy · 07/10/2014 11:33

Kids shouldn't be watching eastenders until they're old enough to have a subsequent discussion about all of the very adult themes it involves - I know I wasn't allowed to watch until I was about 11

I'm so saddened by the victim blaming comments up thread. I'd like to say I'm shocked by them but sadly I'm not. It's hard enough for women to report any rape without thinking people will be judging them if they did freeze during (which is a common therefore realistic reaction)

RobinSparkles · 07/10/2014 11:34

I don't let my children watch any kind of soap as the themes are far too adult. Have the themes got stronger as time has gone on though as I used to watch all of them when I was DD1's age (7)? And I don't remember much violence in them then (early 90s), unless it just went over my head.

I do think that they're on too early though. My DDs are usually in bed by 7.30 but Hollyoaks (one of the worst ones for more adult themes, particularly sexual themes, imo) is on at 6.30. I don't watch it but if I wanted to I'd have to record it as both DDs are up at that time.

LayMeDown · 07/10/2014 11:34

Highway Your post is incredibly ignorant and offensive. It is a very common reaction among rape and sexual assault victims to freeze.
I would also expect someone who is raed while their children are nearby will remain quiet in order to protect them.

Highway65 · 07/10/2014 11:37

Yes you could be right Pourquoi?

Don't recall saying I was certain of my reactions! My personal view is that they should have perhaps shown her put up more of a fight. That is all. We will see how the story transpires. The scene must have been very upsetting for people that have lived through rape. I didn't know the storyline was coming up. I imagine other people didn't either.

Highway65 · 07/10/2014 11:40

Oh gosh! Minot ignorant. I know about what you are all saying. But for a soap, with plenty of 'ignorant' people watching, I think they should have done it slightly differently, if at all!

HaroldsBishop · 07/10/2014 11:40

Stop bullying Highway, she clearly wasn't victim blaming ffs

WellnowImFucked · 07/10/2014 11:41

Sorry you feel flamed Highway65, that was never my intention.

But you are still making assumptions. Have you never been in a situation where you didn't know what to do? Honestly?

Can you still not even consider that the way you think you would/should act, and how you actually react might be worlds apart?

Highway65 · 07/10/2014 11:41

Minot? Should be I'M

Cardriver · 07/10/2014 11:41

My 7 year old is normally in bed by that time but last night didn't go to plan so she was still up. I hadn't seen any of the warnings because the tv was on in the background rather than us specifically watching it. I turned over straight away but DD3 still asked questions and knows that he hurt her. I'm hoping that she doesn't question it further because I know she realised that it wasn't being hurt in the 'normal' way. Big lesson for me though about having stiff like on in the background Sad

penguinsaresmall · 07/10/2014 11:42

Personally I think it's disgusting that the BBC thinks it's ok to show the kind of violence that seems to have become the norm in EE nowadays, and I struggle to understand why anybody would find it entertaining to watch, let alone letting their DC watch it.

I haven't watched it for years now as it's a steaming pile of crap but when I was a kid I regularly watched soaps with my parents. I don't know if it just went right over my head, but I just can't remember soaps being anything like as violent and grim as they are nowadays - I am going back 30+ years though...

Highway65 · 07/10/2014 11:43

Thanks HaroldsBishop X

penguinsaresmall · 07/10/2014 11:43

xposted with robin ...

JoycemynameisJoyce · 07/10/2014 11:45

Bullying and flaming? I think a lot of people are just pointing out that stating "I would have made such a noise, screamed, put up such a fight. I would have wanted bruises etc to show that I had tried to fight him off," might offend women who froze when raped. Pointing out how that could lead to offence really, really isn't flaming.

PrettyPictures92 · 07/10/2014 11:45

We were allowed to watch eastenders from about 8/9 years, there was some pretty bad scenes in it even then and I always remembered not wanting to watch it. I still hate it to this day Grin

But if you know there's going to be something like a rape scene in it, why on earth would you allow a child who you don't think is mature enough to deal with seeing it to watch that?! Some people need to learn some common sense Hmm

jammytoast · 07/10/2014 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoycemynameisJoyce · 07/10/2014 11:46

And how is, "She just bent over and let him," not victim blaming?

Bambambini · 07/10/2014 11:47

"Personally I think it's disgusting that the BBC thinks it's ok to show the kind of violence that seems to have become the norm in EE nowadays, and I struggle to understand why anybody would find it entertaining to watch, let alone letting their DC watch it."

I don't think TV has to be always entertaining and the rape in EE was in no way entertaining to watch, it was shocking and very uncomfortable viewing though I didn't like the bleach shower aspect. I think they handled it well and realistically and might actually get people and their (older) children talking and challenging some of the rape stereotypes.

OP posts:
ElephantsNeverForgive · 07/10/2014 11:49

Why oh why can we never discuss, not flame, not a use people of victim blaming, just discuss things on MN.

You don't educate anyone by jumping on every word they type waving a victim blaming banner, you just frighten people away from the thread.

ddubsgirl77 · 07/10/2014 11:50

Growing up we had michelle getting pregnant & kathy getting raped so this isnt new for enders as a kid watching this i was more shocked at michelle calling kathys rapist a bastard on tv before watershed and they got away with it

jammytoast · 07/10/2014 11:51

In reply to the OP.

I haven't watched it yet, but I do intend to. I have been raped, and actually I am GLAD that they didn't have her put up a fight, because it is a very common and a very real reaction to freeze.

As for kids watching it, I can't even have the news on lately with my kids in the room, because its all so awful and I don't feel they need to be confronted with that so young, I can't imagine letting them watch EE. There was a shooting last week ffs, and now this. Not at all suitable.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 07/10/2014 11:53

I wasn't allowed to watch Neighbours as a pre-teen because [gasp] there were teenagers kissing in it. As for Dallas..... though that was after the watershed at the time.

Why on earth would anyone want their children watching the sheer miserableness of life on a soap opera? Especially with on demand TV, it's so easy to watch that tripe later

Didn't see the show personally so can't comment on how graphic it was, whether it was implied violence or quite graphic and obvious that the character was being harmed. The watershed guidelines are below.
5.4.7
Programmes broadcast between 5.30am and 9pm must be suitable for a general audience including children. The earlier in the evening a programme is placed, the more suitable it should be for children to watch without an older person. Programmes in later pre-watershed slots may not be suitable for the youngest children or for children to watch without an older person
www.bbc.co.uk/editorialguidelines/page/guidelines-harm-watershed/

From your description, it doesn't sound like it was suitable for a general audience, but regardless, I would regard 7pm as a watershed for ANY TV for a 4 & 7 yr old.

jammytoast · 07/10/2014 11:53

Elephants, I would usually agree with you, but that posters comment was MORE upsetting to me than seeing rape on the TV. It can't be brushed over. It was utterly wrong on so many levels.

ChoochiWoo · 07/10/2014 11:54

I think soaos in general are becoming more and more unsuitable for pre watershed viewing the only one my DS catches is emmerdale cuz its on early.