to expect a seat on the bus?

[Mammanat222]

This morning got a later bus, was gobsmacked to board it and see a number of people's heads drop.

Even school children (teenagers - bus in on the route to 2 schools)

AIBU to be pissed off and disappointed?

I am almost 6 months pregnant by the way, wearing something tight today and there is no mistaking I am pregnant - not just fat!!

That's sad you didn't get a seat, but you do have to make it your wishes clear. Walk up to the priority seat and stick your bump in their face if you don't want to ask.
I'm guessing you don't live in London? I think the most number of people who literally jumped out of their seats to offer to me a seat at the same time was about four construction workers they were the only four people in the carriage! I also realised that in rush hour when I couldn't even get near a seat, nobody could see my silhouette same as I couldn't see theirs.

I think pregnant women often look much more pregnant to themselves than they do to strangers. I bought a cot mobile from someone who enquired politely who it was for... I was 30 weeks pg in a tight maternity top, but it never crossed his mind I might be pg. On the bus people don't spent their time scanning other people's midriffs. Of those who look at yours, and suspect, they have to be really, really sure to offer. There are a lot of non-pregnant people with big tummies (including my post-pregnancy tum) who'd be mortally offended if they were offered a seat.

Possibly everyone did realise you are pregnant and look the other way. But possibly not everyone's attention focussed on your bump as soon as you stepped on the bus.

I'm sure in a bus full of people there were some who would have been perfectly fine to stand up but either it didn't even cross their mind or they had an entitled attitude.

Isn't it just being polite and considerate to offer a seat to those who look like they might need it?

If you are offered a seat when pregnant you don't have 'to be puzzled' as to why you've been offered it. You can just say no thank you. No big deal.

I offered somebody my seat once, turned out she wasn't pregnant and was horribly offended, embarrassment all round. I won't risk it again so you'll have to ask me if you want a seat.

Walk up to the priority seat and stick your bump in their face if you don't want to ask.

that's assuming that the person in the priority seat doesn't have a genuine need for it themselves even teenagers can have hidden disabilities. How many times have we seen threads on here where someone who needs a priority seat themselves has someone pregnant try to tell them they have to give it up.

A couple of weeks ago, at 8 months pg (v v obvious bump!!!) DS and I had to get the bus. I just sat on the floor by his buggy - too much hassle to ask for a seat!

i never like to ask precisely because I don't know who has a hidden disability or just really needs the seat. That seems a good reason to wait to be offered to me rather than a reason to ask.

yanbu, 6 months and obviously pregnant should have people leaping from there seats! I found Londoners very good about this, also helpful with buggies post-pg.

YANBU

I don't think you should have to ask. Not everyone in the front few seats of a bus can have 'hidden disabilities' or balance issues. The perfectly healthy people need to be a bit more aware of who is getting on, and offer without having to be asked.

It's common courtesy.

I often get offered a seat on the Tube and the Overground and i'm not even pregnant. I always accept as I would not like somebody to be mortified at offering the fat woman a seat

Ah I love a good pregnant woman and bus seat thread!!

Ask. Remember though, that some people who you think have bad manners because they didn't jump up to give you a seat may need their seat.
I have spine damage and fibomyola.
I look young and fit though. I wouldn't have offered you my seat, i wouldnt have been able to!
I need to sit down, i can't for long period as my legs go and i can't hold onto the bars.

But no, I will not be jumping up because you're pregnant. You might not need or want a seat, just like I didn't.

Sure...she might not. In which case, she'll just say no! I don't see why that affects your decision to offer.

I dont sit at the front btw as iv had people have ago at me for not giving my seat up to elderly people.

Did you need a seat?

I do understand the risk of offence though. I held the door open for someone out of politeness and got a volley of abuse for it.

YABU to expect this without asking.

People are wary of offending somebody by asking if they are pregnant when they are not.

Many people don't like being squished up with lots of strangers so "zone out" to make it more bearable, and hence wouldn't notice you.

And sometimes you meet another pregnant woman out and about - I had a "bump off" one time with another woman where she did that thing about not wanting to shuffle over to the inside seat and expecting me to squeeze past (it was the seat right by the exit door, so had the floor to ceiling barrier right in front of it, making it especially awkward). I pointed out that it was easier for her to shuffle across than for me to squeeze past. We managed and both survived.

Usually there's more than one thing going on at a time - if you want your thing to get attention, you will often have to draw other people's attention to it.

I do say in my first post that the kids in question are teenagers.

It's also interesting that people think little ones are safer seated. I always scout my DS onto my lap if we are on busy transport. I guess this is only works up until a certain age though.

Just sad that manners are in such decline that of all the people on the bus (50? it's a single decker) not one would offer a seat.

"Did you need a seat?"

Probably more than most people on the bus - yes!

Just ask, for goodness sake! Instead of standing there, seething, just be direct and ask.

I think the OP's point is, why should she have to ask??

In a polite society, she shouldn't.

The op needs to ask because if she doesn't ask other people don't know that she needs.

As an able-bodied person, it's pretty obvious to me that a visibly-pregnant woman is likely to need a seat more than I do.