Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my OH to sack this person right now

151 replies

whataloadofoldshit · 05/10/2014 12:07

I'm not being unreasonable, but if my DP doesn't sack this person today it's going to cause some massive issues.

Some background information... My DP owns quite a large roofing business and often goes to the jobs to make sure everything is going smoothly. This morning one of the guys couldn't make it so DP went along to give the other men a hand. I popped up there about 10ish to drop DP some lunch off and there was a new guy there, has done a couple of jobs for DP before, he's about 50, lots of experience etc. I had the kids with me and we were all exchanging pleasantries... Until this guy blurted out 'Look! There's a monkey!'. So my children turn around trying to spot the monkey. There wasn't a monkey, he was talking about a black man walking down the road. Obviously I assumed there were not people in the world that really thought like this or let alone said things like that in this world anymore. The children are none the wiser and I said nothing, just turned round again. I made a quick exit, after giving DP a very pissy look.

I am not happy. I'm not sure what DP thinks. I am going to ask him what the hell it was all about this evening, but am I being unreasonable in asking him to sack that racist piece of shit straight away tomorrow?

OP posts:
SuzySheepSmellsNice · 05/10/2014 12:10

Yeah he needs sacking. What an utter cunt.

MelanieCheeks · 05/10/2014 12:10

It's not an acceptable comment, but I don't think it's a sackable offence.

Your DP needs to have a word with this man.

Pollywallywinkles · 05/10/2014 12:10

Unless you are a part owner of director of the company it is none of your business as to who he fires or hires regardless of how unsavoury his employees may be.

YANBU about his comments.

ReallyTired · 05/10/2014 12:11

It may not be as easy as you think for your DP to sack someone for a racist comment. A lot depends on what kind of contract the person has (if any!) It is fairly easy to sack someone without reason if they have worked for your DP for less than two years.

Even racist shits have employment rights. I am not sure if making a racist joke actually counts as gross misconduct. Especially with the victim of the racism has not lodged a complaint and does not work for the company or is a customer.

Littledidsheknow · 05/10/2014 12:12

Yes, he is a nasty, racist shit, but your Dp is an employer, and must act according to guidelines.
I think a warning is the most he could/ should give for this offence.

LadyLuck10 · 05/10/2014 12:13

I really think you need to get over yourself demanding people should get sacked. Yes he is racist but is that for you to decide what happens to him or your DH?

Letthemtalk · 05/10/2014 12:15

Making such an overt racist comment would be gross misconduct where I work and a sackable offence

Coolas · 05/10/2014 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MokunMokun · 05/10/2014 12:16

Why didn't you just say something to him?

I really don't think you can ask your DH to sack him.

MrsCampbellBlack · 05/10/2014 12:17

I am impressed they're working on a sunday which I know is irrelevant.

Agree with others:

  • is he actually an employee?
  • could be gross misconduct and therefor sackable?
  • maybe your DH will just give him a warning and tell him such language is unacceptable.

Pretty unbelievable that someone would make such an awful comment to the boss's wife though.

Original poster
whataloadofoldshit · 05/10/2014 12:18

I'm not sure I need to get over myself to be honest. It's my DP's business so he will be decide what's best and I will support him on that. However, I will strongly advise him that he shouldn't have people that have the potential to behave like that working for him. What if I had been the customer? Or a dog walker walking past? It's my DP's business that would suffer. Which then could affect us too. Knowing my DP, I think he will be on the same page. Thank fully.

OP posts:
YoSkylar · 05/10/2014 12:20

Bloody hell! that's shocking!

frankie001 · 05/10/2014 12:21

If I heard a builder say this I would complain. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

WooWooOwl · 05/10/2014 12:21

The bloke is a prick, but it's not for you to demand that he's sacked. Your do needs to follow procedure and make it clear that he won't tolerate racist language.

fizzymittens · 05/10/2014 12:21

Good God. I can't believe that there are people out there who would say that kind of thing and think it acceptable. OP I understand your reaction and would feel the same way but I also think that your husband has to work within the law so it may just be a warning for this hideous man - I am not sure as I am not an employer.

ReallyTired · 05/10/2014 12:21

"Making such an overt racist comment would be gross misconduct where I work and a sackable offence"

Only if this is actually in your contract. Even then defining what is racist comment and severity of the incident is subjective.

There are levels of racism and I expect your contract is there so that an employee who bullies another employee because he is black can be sacked incidently. I am not sure that a poor quality attempt at a racist joke is in the same league as racial bullying.

I feel the OP partner should seek legal advice before sacking anyone. There has to be a proper proceedure followed (ie. disciplinary hearing) otherwise your partner could be sued.

frankie001 · 05/10/2014 12:21

Scrap that, if I heard anyone say that I would complain!

Original poster
whataloadofoldshit · 05/10/2014 12:22

Mrs, exactly, if he can say it in front of me who else would he say it in front of? He obviously doesn't care!

My DP would work all the hours god sends if he could. The customer didn't mind them working today.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 05/10/2014 12:23

I'd have been gobsmacked. Especially as your dc were there.

MrsCampbellBlack · 05/10/2014 12:23

Is he actually an employee or a contractor?

If he's new and an employee then he's presumably on probation anyway so pretty easy to give a week's notice I think.

Asteria · 05/10/2014 12:24

the vile racist should have known better but, unless his views cause problems within the workplace, it is not a sackable offence.

MokunMokun · 05/10/2014 12:24

But he could just shrug it off and say he was making a lame joke and didn't even see the black man. You can't really prove he was being racist.

Original poster
whataloadofoldshit · 05/10/2014 12:25

I am obviously raging, so I won't be demanding anything or being an absolute arse I think I am just so so so shocked. I'm sure some people think this but to say it is just unforgivable.

In reality my DP won't be able to sack him tomorrow because of contracts etc, even though I wish he could. It will be a warning I imagine. Which just sucks doesn't it.

OP posts:
almamatters · 05/10/2014 12:25

I can't believe you didn't say anything in response! I have a colleague who quite often makes racist/sexist/bigoted comments and even though I almost know "he doesn't mean them" and is supposedly joking or whatever, it's not funny, and I have no qualms pulling him up on it every time. He even asked me "is your other half black then because you get really offended" well, no, he isn't...I'm offended because it's offensive. Simple as really! It shocks me how ignorant some people are in this day and age!

TheLovelyBoots · 05/10/2014 12:26

I think you need to let your husband deal with his business as he sees fit.

Swipe left for the next trending thread