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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my OH to sack this person right now

151 replies

whataloadofoldshit · 05/10/2014 12:07

I'm not being unreasonable, but if my DP doesn't sack this person today it's going to cause some massive issues.

Some background information... My DP owns quite a large roofing business and often goes to the jobs to make sure everything is going smoothly. This morning one of the guys couldn't make it so DP went along to give the other men a hand. I popped up there about 10ish to drop DP some lunch off and there was a new guy there, has done a couple of jobs for DP before, he's about 50, lots of experience etc. I had the kids with me and we were all exchanging pleasantries... Until this guy blurted out 'Look! There's a monkey!'. So my children turn around trying to spot the monkey. There wasn't a monkey, he was talking about a black man walking down the road. Obviously I assumed there were not people in the world that really thought like this or let alone said things like that in this world anymore. The children are none the wiser and I said nothing, just turned round again. I made a quick exit, after giving DP a very pissy look.

I am not happy. I'm not sure what DP thinks. I am going to ask him what the hell it was all about this evening, but am I being unreasonable in asking him to sack that racist piece of shit straight away tomorrow?

OP posts:
almamatters · 05/10/2014 12:26

I should have said I do agree though that this man is representing your partners company and therefore it does ned to be noted.

ilovesooty · 05/10/2014 12:26

I think your partner has to make the decision but if I were him I wouldn't want someone who thought this was acceptable ever to work for or alongside me again.
In my company it would be gross misconduct too.

Nanny0gg · 05/10/2014 12:27

What the employees say and do in the workplace directly impacts the reputation of their employers.

I think it is entirely the OP's business as to what she says to her DH about the incident.

I agree with her.

tinylttletrotters · 05/10/2014 12:27

My husband has his own business and I would want this person sacked too

It takes years to build up a good reputation , I wouldn't want that ruined for anything

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 05/10/2014 12:31

Is this man an employee or a freelancer on a contract?
I ask as you said he has done some work for your DP in the past, as though he is not a full employee.
In that case I would maybe encourage your DP to consider just not hiring him again once this contract is finished and explaining to the man exactly why. That way your DP hasn't broken the current contract (if there is no way he can end it due to gross misconduct based on this event) but he won't be sending any more work his way.
If I have miss understood and he is an employee I agree your DP needs to go down the official disciplinary procedure route.

GilesGirl · 05/10/2014 12:32

I would sack him.

HeySoulSister · 05/10/2014 12:33

Yabu to not say something at the time! Or just to give him 'a look'

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 05/10/2014 12:33

God that's bloody awful

In front of your dc's as well.

I'm actually quite upset :(

You showed a lot of restraint to not push him off the roof say anything.

BringMeTea · 05/10/2014 12:35

YANBU. If your dh has the power to sack this racist dick then he should exercise it whilst making it clear why. I am shocked people think this should be accepted 'cos of employment law'. Obviously employment law is a good thing. But if I could avoid employing openly racist morons I would.

kaymondo · 05/10/2014 12:36

If he is a relatively new employee (ie less than 2 yrs service) then he can be sacked without reason with notice.

However for that kind of racist comment in front of members of the public (which you and your children are) then your dp would absolutely have grounds to dismiss without notice for gross misconduct.

I'd love to see the employee trying to defend his behaviour at an employment tribunal!

Ime most employers would take this as gross misconduct.

And I'm an employment lawyer.

Lucyccfc · 05/10/2014 12:38

I can't believe you just stood there and didn't say anything, considering you are so disgusted by it.

Husbands business or not, if someone said that in front of my children I would have said something.

Nomama · 05/10/2014 12:40

The building industry has had codes of conduct in place for years now. This could be gross misconduct, bringing your DHs business into disrepute, etc etc.

Have a calm chat with your DH. Explain how it would look to his customers. Let's face it, unless all of his customers are BNP/UKIP supporters this is going to cause upset and trouble for your DH at some point. He needs to address the issue according to his working conduct and contract.

AuntieStella · 05/10/2014 12:40

I think this (racist comments in front of site visitors) would count as gross misconduct too.

If your DH does not have clauses which allow for sacking for gross misconduct, then perhaps this incident will spur him to review what is in his contracts.

Whooshtheyweregone · 05/10/2014 12:41

I think your DP needs to make whatever decision he feels is best for his company. Whether it is a sackable offence or not is irrelevant if he has less than two years' service. He can be dismissed without reason.

Tanukisan · 05/10/2014 12:42

Fabulous comments from kaymondo. Do everything in your power to get rid of this bloke OP. Totally vile.

Original poster
whataloadofoldshit · 05/10/2014 12:43

That's easier said than done Lucy. There is no doubting my disgust, however getting involved right there and then and saying what I think wouldn't have been professional or my place really. I didn't want to make a scene in front of my children. I know that is what my DP would have wanted too.

Kay I hope you're right.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 05/10/2014 12:45

How long has he employed him? What sort of contract?

GemmaPuddledDuck · 05/10/2014 12:46

I don't think many kids would realise it was a racist joke so I wouldn't have wanted to draw their attention yo it.

Original poster
whataloadofoldshit · 05/10/2014 12:48

I'm not entirely sure Funky, my DP has a mixture of contracts. As in contracts for people just working on a particular job then they leave or contacts for people working full time that kind of thing. I'm sure this guy is just contracted for this particular job. I will find out more tonight.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 05/10/2014 12:50

It is shocking, I don't know why you haven't mentioned it to dp. I woukd tell him and let him deal with it.

Workytypestuff · 05/10/2014 12:51

Its gross misconduct where i work, and rightly so. Racists deserve punishing, simple.

Yanbu.

daisychain01 · 05/10/2014 12:51

I think you were wise not to make a massive thing about it, there and the . It needs to be handled professionally which means not getting involved in a big debate out there in front of everyone.

I think the next steps should be a non-emotional discussion with your DP, so not "a rant" or going off on one, but talking to him about how the person was racist and ignorant and suggesting he seriously considers dismissing the person on those grounds. If the person was on a trial period, which sounds likely, that will help, as it is easier to part company. If they are just engaged on a casual basis, even easier to say "we have zero tolerance of racist attitudes in this company". Do it professionally and maybe consider having a witness present, so no come-back.

I wouldnt give someone like that a second chance, they have no boundaries.

It will give a message to the other workers what is not tolerated.

WorraLiberty · 05/10/2014 12:54

Surely you could have said something though to show your disgust?

Even a raised eyebrow and a "really?"

People like him probably think others agree with him if no-one ever reacts.

SweetsForMySweet · 05/10/2014 12:54

His comment was inappropriate and racist but your oh can only offer a verbal warning. If he sacks him it is probably unfair dismissal.

Original poster
whataloadofoldshit · 05/10/2014 12:56

I won't be able to mention it. He will be up and down a roof all day so will have left his phone in the van. We will be able to talk about it tonight. Which is probably a good thing as I can calm down and then give my point rationally.

OP posts: