To wonder why there are men posting here?

[TheMenzAreBack]

The website is called MUMSnet. Not dadsnet or parentsnet, but MUMSnet. Most people who post here are female so why men would even want to post here is beyond me. It's even creepier when they don't have any kids.

a) in most of the internet, world, everywhere, no they wouldn't. Men say this kind of thing all the time and it's absolutely fine by almost everyone.

I'll agree that a lot say it all the time but I often find that in a lot of places it is jumped upon quickly but certainly there are places where it isn't (and I don't have a problem with it either way unless it crosses certain taste boundaries)

b) when we're had at least 14,000 years of matriarchy, control most of the money, land, resources, government, means of production; when a third of women aren't abused in their lifetime; when DD isn't expected to be quieter, better behaved and nicer than her male peers, then I will entertain the 'Pepsi ad' argument about women objectifying men.

The 14,000 years argument just smacks of revenge against men for their ancestors choices and not equality, so that argument is flawed. I'm not responsible for things that took place before I was born. The abused women argument I'll agree with as that is important to solve, but the sex of the victim is less important than the abuse itself as it happens to men (obviously in smaller numbers. I make sure DS is growing up to be well behave and nice and would do the same if I had a DD. Ignoring the "Pepsi ad" argument because there are fewer perceived victims than the reverse situation is perverse logic as it looks like "treat everyone equal unless they're a man and deserve it because of something a completely different group of men have done". I personally don't actually have a problem with men or women doing a bit of ogling and admiring the opposite sex as that is the first step in finding a partner and completely natural (otherwise this site wouldn't exist!) so my original comment was just meant as a throwaway comment and not to get sucked deeply into the above justification.

c) find me somewhere where men are objectifying women who are 10-20 years older than them, grey haired, wear suits, talk about politics or play an immensely intelligent Doctor on telly and are saying brains and humour is what they want. Is there a 'would you shag Judi Dench or Ruth Bader Ginsburg' website?

I'm sure those sites probably exist in the depths of the internet (especially if you add Helen Mirren to the list) and my wife has a crush on Professor Brian Cox despite the 20 year age difference!

I joined a few years ago when I was a single dad. By that I mean the kids live with me not that i see them at weekends.

At the time it was a place to get advice and chat to like minded people because active places single dad's can get support are few & far between. And honestly I had much more in common with a single mum or even a mum in a relationship than most of the blokes I knew who were all dad's who let their OH's run the house.

I must admit it's been enlightening.

Okay, well I was joking but apologies if I have been offensive.

It wasn't intentional.

Will leave thread now in case I wind someone else up.

I know that when I visit AIBU I will find something interesting, thought-provoking, sometimes hilarious, occasionally infuriating.

I post when I think I have something to say that is worth saying - and I know that sometimes others will differ.

It's also a fact that many fora are dominated by men and this one is different precisely because it is not. So it gets a wider range of opinions, and that's one of its joys.

So I am staying unless Justine and her henchpersons give me my marching order. I use a nickname which indicates my gender so anyone who thinks I am defiling the purity of the site can skip my posts.

As long as you jump on misogyny wherever you see it online, Subhuman, not just the relatively easy target of women in a safe space. My experience is that there is almost no one talking about objectification online (YouTube comments and the like) so maybe tackling that first would be nice. You know the death threats and rape threats women get when they dare to raise their heads above the parapet.

I find Shami Chakrabarti very attractive.

neil

It's true!!!

The wasn't because I thought you were lying. It was a middle-aged awwww . She's great, I thoroughly approve.

Well I don't have a baby yet but I bloody love Mumsnet. There is amazing support here for everyone, and a good laugh sometimes aswell.

She's nice to look at, intelligent and articulate. I don't know what her sense of humour is like because everytime I've seen her, someone's having a pop at her but she never seems to lose an argument.

Paxman I could understand. But Capaldi? Not seeing it. Don't really get the David Tennant thing either. Benedict Cumberbatch though I can see, even with his slightly alien face.

Now, were I a full-blooded woman, I would probably be seriously craving Cary Agos from Goodwife..

Am I right or what?

Sorry, completely off topic, but while we're on the subject, that lady from The Hotel Inspector..

I like the fact that there are men posting here as well as women Most of the blokes that post here seem like pretty decent guys.

As a woman i dont tend to go for the guys that the media tells us we should like Brad Pitt George Clooney.

I like the actor Chris Larkin He reminds me of ex OM a bit looks wise. I like a bloke to look lived in like he has fun.

And i like Samuel West because he seems like a nice bloke.

Lucio, I've been thinking for some time that the letching threads make me feel ill and I couldn't figure out why. You've summed it all up brilliantly. A poster saying someone's attractive is a million miles from hinting or describing what they'd like to do with them.

As this thread has kept running, I should say that I'm not actually a dog, but am in fact yet another man on Mumsnet. I've recently become a first time dad, and have been coming on here since my wife and I started TTC. I think this place is great - perhaps because it's predominantly women, but mostly because the no holds barred approach to conversation here is addictive!

Although... it seems I have gone against the grain when compared to some other male posters, by choosing a non gender specific username. However I would like to think that a good number of the threads on here are gender neutral and it is irrelevant whether you are a man or a woman - you should be judged on the content of your posts, and people should respond to you as a fellow human being.

Of course there are some topics where I know I must tread carefully, and I don't hide the fact I'm a man. But mostly I don't think my gender adds or detracts from the conversation.

I like to think that actually we have quite a lot in common, us male and female humans.

Maybe I should change my name so it's more obvious I'm a gentleman.

Is this any better?

Tiggy, whatever your exact name, you are NO gentleman

It is one of my biggest fears that had I remained without children I may not have googled a childrearing problem and I may never have found MN !! Inconceivable.

I greatly value having a wide demographic of people on here: different age groups and social demographics, men, women and anything in-between (I mean that: I've learnt more about transgender issues than I though possible and enough to know that I am quite ignorant on the subject).

To quote a PP: YABU, OP. Weirdo.

TiggyD - I wouldn't change your name, my username is pretty obvious I feel and yet some people still think I am female, until told otherwise!

Out of curiosity, I had a look at the dadsnet board on this site today.

For starters, it's hard to find (it's listed under In the Club ---?). And it gets very little traffic it would seem except weirdly there's a thread which is currently breaking the trend with hundreds of posts in less than a week. It's about the whole private / state school debate, so it's on your own head if you want to get involved with that one.

I'm going to make an effort to look on dadsnet more frequently but I fear it will never get the necessary momentum to take off.

Back to normal then Nichola.

And I am a gentleman. Whenever I'm in a social quandary I just think to myself "what would David Niven have done?"

Anti I don't think you've gone against the grain, a few people's opinions aren't conclusive in any way. I agree in many cases/threads it shouldn't matter whether you're male or female. I also don't think it's in any way compulsory for men to identify themselves if they don't want to. Me doing so is just what I feel more comfortable with.

I do agree with you that men and women have a lot in common. More so in fact than one might generally assume, no?

I do agree with you that men and women have a lot in common. More so in fact than one might generally assume, no?

Yes, like 45 chromosomes

Whenever I'm in a social quandary I just think to myself "what would David Niven have done?"
Tiggy, in that case you must of course be a gentleman. I bow to your role model.

Ach away with Pepsi ad argument btw.